Beep Beep

Everything in my kitchen beeps. Which honestly wouldn't be that bad if whatever appliance that has it's feeling hurt because you aren't paying proper attention to it at the moment didn't continuously beeping in an bratty pay attention to me way. And lets face it, I can get distracted easily, which is the reason I use kitchen times in the first place. And I don't have the desire to babysit them all.

But it's not just the timer when done beeping, everything beeps as it's being set too. Seriously. The oven beeps when you hit a function button on it. Bake, warm, broil, oven light on/off, time, any button press = beep. It beeps as you set the oven temperature up or down. And if heaven forbid you set the temperature but don't press the "start" button, how is the oven going to know that you really meant that? OMG! Panic! I'm set to 425 but I don't know if they mean that! AHH!! Frantic beep! I don't know if you mean that! Press start! However, it's conjoined sibling the high maintenance induction cook top doesn't beep at all, even if you forget to turn off the burner with an empty pot on it and walk away. Safety first and all that. Maybe if figures that the oven makes enough noise for the both of them. Which it does. But still.

The microwave is similar to it's friend the oven in that it beeps if you press any button thing. But I always press start on the microwave so I don't know if it has the same OMG no press start style freak out like the oven. However, if you don't hit cancel or open the door of the microwave when it is done, it beeps to remind you. I prefer to think of it in a pestering little sibling* way, more of an excuse me, but um, I'm done. Excuse me! I'm done here! Hey!

*I'm referencing little siblings in general, not any one little sibling in particular.

But let's go back to the timers portion. Both the microwave and oven are the same way if you don't hit the cancel button (which beeps when pressed. Of course it does) after it's done timing. Which, ok, that one I understand some because you don't always hear the initial time's up noise. But quite often, I do whatever needs to be done when the timer goes off, so I don't reset/stop the timer right away. And the timers get angry at me so they beep beep beep at random intervals to annoy me. (also in a pestering little sibling way)

Not to be left out of the appliance action adventure club, my coffee maker beeps as well. I'm serious. When it's done brewing my morning life blood, it jumps into the fray with 5 rapid high pitched meeps, similar to what a bomb sounds like in the movies. Or, what an angry kitten sounds like. (At least, I'm assuming that's what an angry kitten would sound like)

While I love having my own kitchen, it can be a really noisy place. With all the beeping and upset appliances and the spaztastic dog sisters doing spaztastic things, you know. My solution for this was to buy an old fashioned egg timer. Yes, it adds a constant ticking to the symphony know as dinner cooking, but it makes one loud obnoxious ring when it's done and then shuts up. It's beautiful. And also? It's shaped like a pear, which amuse me highly.