Baby Fat

me: Hey, you want to go to yoga with me and P?
D: Sure. But I won't be the only fatty in the room right?
me: You are not a fatty, you had a 10 lb baby 6 weeks ago. Pregnancy weight is not fat. (Though the class is full of 20 year old toothpick sorority girls fyi...)

Apparently, when you have a baby, you gain weight. Go figure. And it's not the baby alone that packs on the pounds, you gain weight everywhere and in addition to the baby. And we live in a culture where getting old and fat are unforgivable beauty sins, so pregnancy is no excuse to not look your best either (because the impending pressure of raising another person isn't enough, you have to look amazing at the same time). So this weight gain thing that happens when you get knocked up, really isn't the best morale booster.

Pregnancy weight is NOT fat.

That is unless I don't like you* and think you're a bitch, then yeah, your pregnancy is fat.

* former co-worker. Nosy bitch wanted to know what my (wedding) dress looked like so she could tell everyone else about it. Because that's her surprise to ruin. And also, since I was engaged, clearly, I was already pregnant or soon on my way to being so according to her. We then had the following conversation in front of several other co workers:
me: I'm not going to be fat in my wedding gown.
fcw: pregnancy is not fat! I was 8 months pregnant my wedding day.
me: I know. Whatever makes you feel better about that I guess.
Other co worker: (hushed voices) did Sarah just call her fat in her wedding gown?

So moral of the story: Friend pregnancy = not fat and congratulations on the baby.
Nemesis pregnancy = you're just fat
And yes, I'm a bitch. I'm ok with that.