Matchmaker, Matchmaker Find Me a Match

I'm poking around a few dating websites because I figure, well, why not. Of course, you have to have your own profile to look at other peoples, so I filled out my stats (slender, dark brown hair, fear of snakes and whatnot), what I want (tall, dark haired anesthesiologist) and made myself annoyingly charming in the "in your own words" section. However, I'm not about to post a picture (despite that a picture profile gets 3 times as many looks), because I really don't want to be looked at. I simply want to be a voyeur. Oh and of course I'm not about to pay for a membership either. Because that would mean I was serious about this. And I'm not there yet. Just looky, no touchy. Or sending a wink. Wtf is a wink anyway, an e-flirt? I don't e-flirt, I real flirt.
So now that I have a pictureless profile set up (I claim it's because I prefer to remain mysterious), I can peruse (or judge) all the local singles I want. I sort of serious look at about 5 before the snorting and eye rolling starts. So here are a few observations that annoy me and my interpretation/reason for the annoyance:

• Emoticons should never be used. Are you a 17? :) :/ ;) :P = groan
• Misspellings-if you don't care enough to spell check, you are a lazy sonofab*tch
• The phrase: laid back guy = lazy and apathy towards life
• Loves the outdoors = that's just a fail with me
• Wants to travel = wannbe worldly apartment decor (you know it's all from Pier 1)
• Enjoys hanging out = doesn't do real dates
• Down to earth = dirty hippie mindset=high ick potential apartment

Ok, I'm knocking the online dating sights, but I really don't think they're that bad really. Just as long as you physically meet the person that is, if you only have an online relationship (snort) that's a fail. I think you have a real chance at dating and/or love on one of those then you do on a reality tv show at least. And if you find the right person, does it really matter how and where you found them? Well, I wouldn't want to say we met in jail or the free clinic on Main per say, but you get my point.