Big sigh

I'm annoyingly good. I'm far from pristine, but still, annoyingly good. My slate is smeared with life experiences, but none of them involve me going to jail or being in trouble. I (usually) know when to toe the line, I've crossed it a few times, and I'll hit bellow the belt if the outcome is advantageous to me. I may have pushed the envelope a few times as a teen, but I never opened it. And it's not just me, all of my friends have done the exact same thing. College and high school, (most) of us we're really good kids (at least, that's what they lead me to believe), and we've grown up to be responsible adults.
So I've done everything "right" it seems. And I know that I don't have a bad lot in life. Far from bad. I have my health, a roof over my head, a job, and a ton of people who love and support me. And I'm going back to school and getting a career. Poor, poor me.
So why am I the one hurting and not him? It doesn't seem fair. I want to stamp my foot and scream, what the hell did I do wrong to deserve these miserable feelings? Why am I the one crying my eyes out because I'm starting down a better path? Why am I the one starting over? Again. Why do I feel like I lost everything, when in reality, I have so much more too look forward to now? I'm trying to see the big picture, my over all lot in life is not bad and I'm being child focusing on this one part. But my perception's a bit warped, sometimes I don't have the energy to see past the broken heart. And then I get frustrated because I know I should move on. But if I know once I do, that means it's really over doesn't it. And I'm still kind of foolishly hoping he's coming after me. One of these days-and maybe here soon- I'll move on and I won't have sad blogs. But I'm still grieving. Sigh, poor poor me and my terrible lot in life.