Group Costume

Since Girl 1 could partake in trick-or-treating (i.e. walk on her own because I am not carrying her throughout the neighborhood*) we have themed the Halloween costumes. So the kids don't know anything else and dr soc and I will never tell them otherwise. 

*I did not apply the same logic in 2018 and carried 3 month old Girl 2 like a fool but almost 3 year old Girl 1 still walked when we were My Little Pony

This year we were Mario World:

Rosalina, *Power-up, Peach and Luigi
*people asked if they could punch dr soc a lot and he said yes if he could punch them back

One of my favorite Halloween *group costume stories of all time is from my early 20's and I wasn't even a part of the costume.

*favorite group costume in my early 20's was the sins. Yours truly strutted around the party in lingerie* as lust and totally got the boy I wanted.

*once again: early 20's     

Anyway, favorite story: I was getting drinks with some friends who had gotten married in September (I had been a bridesmaid btw). 

Newlywed girl (dreamy sappy voice of smug newlywed): It's our first married Halloween! We have to do something together! 

Newlywed boy (enthusiastically): Let's go as a horse!

Me and everyone else: (laughs)

Newlywed girl: (purses lips, glares at all of us)

They aren't married to each other anymore 🤷

Birthday Present

Last year I set an intention for my 40s: become a published author.  Granted as of today I still have 9 years to make that happen, but I want it to happen sooner rather than later. Because...I wrote a book. Yup, I really did. A whole 105K words and 238 pages of...well, no spoilers. 

Okay, okay, it's a work of fiction covering events that may or may not happened the years prior to this blog starting that also may or may not be NSFW. Please note that names, characters, business, events and incidents are the product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to any actual of the aforementioned nouns, living or dead, are purely coincidental. 

So....yeah. I want a legit book deal. A deal that works with editors, publishers and promoters who do the work of selling millions to book stores. Not to mention they would arrange the book tour because I don't have the energy or time to do that with being a working mom and all. If that doesn't happen I know I could self publish, but I don't want to do all that work either for the same reason.  

If anything this blog and the reactions I receive have given me an overinflated sense of confidence that I already have an audience. But I really do think I have a story and a writing style that people who don't know me would actually want to read.

So for my birthday this year, I'd like a book deal. If anyone can make that happen you'd usurp dr soc as my favorite person.       

Artist

Girl 2 is my little artist. As soon as she could grip a writing utensil she has loved to draw and no surface is safe from her scribbles. (No lie, that's why the permeant markers are out of reach)   

But drawing isn't her only medium. She dabbles in other art forms such as photography and created this riveting series aptly titled:

 Mommy's Stolen Phone of 2022:    

 

  

Which of course I posted to facebook because that's what modern parenting is. 

However, as prolific as girl 2's art is, there were a few images that did not make the social media post. Mostly along the lines of the images being

Repetitive

 

Questionable or didn't contribute to the series

 

or: unflattering

So she may be the artist, but I'm still the curator.

OMG

So, my 40th birthday came and went with a blown tire, a rapid pickup of the children and a broken air conditioner. Oh well, that’s life.  **shrugs**   The next day I shifted focus to Girl 2’s 4th birthday party in 9 days and another mini- vacation with all the extended family and all the hostessing that includes. Somewhere in that time frame dr soc had a nose job (okay, it was sinus surgery. But calling it a nose job is better for teasing because I love him), we set up a new big girl bed for girl 2, and somehow had to clean the house for all the company coming in because omg there are going to be 11 people in my house at the same time. 

Friday before the party I text dr soc with the last minute party/grocery shopping and come home to a clean house too. God I love that man. But something was slightly off. No one was downstairs like usual when I come home from work, and the sofa tables are cleaned off with the exception of a purse I didn’t recognize.

me: I’m home! Hey who’s here?
dr soc: What do you mean?

me: Whose purse is this? (I’m not too concerned, and if even if it was his mistress if she cleans my house she can stay)

dr soc: - realizes the jig is up - Oh. As for who’s here…

My bestest buddie from when we were 11 and lives in Portland and haven’t seen in 6 years runs down the stairs.

MY BESTEST BUDDIE FROM WHEN WE WERE 11 AND LIVES IN PORTLAND AND HAVEN'T SEEN IN 6 YEARS RUNS DOWN THE STAIRS.

OMFG.

I’m in shock to say the least. I'm in disbelief and hugging her so tight because all the feels! I mean now I have to figure out dinner but that’s okay because omg my bestest buddie who I haven’t seen in 6 years has flown across the country to surprise me for my/our 40th birthday! 

But wait, there’s more! Dr soc has ordered food for tonight too so I don’t need to worry about dinner either. And speak of the devil, the doorbell rings. I open the door and it's sorta food but not really because  

It’s 4 of my best friends from college who live in 4 different parts of the country and haven’t seen in at least 2 years because of the pandemic standing on my front porch (to take me out for dinner).

IT’S 4 OF MY BEST FRIENDS FROM COLLEGE WHO LIVE IN 4 DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE COUNTRY AND HAVENT SEEN IN AT LEAST 2 YEARS BECAUSE OF THE PANDEMIC STANDING ON MY FRONT PORCH (TO TAKE ME TO DINNER).

Well now I'm crying tears of joy, my friends are crying tears of joy too and dr soc is welling up as well because he arranged for all of them to surprise me for my birthday on this particular weekend. That night we went out for Mexican food with margaritas college style but better because we're all 40 now and have disposable income.

And Saturday they came to girl 2's birthday party and then we had a night on the town. I had a girls' weekend and it was the absolute best.  

clockwise from bottom left: Jeanne - Cleveland, me -Charlotte, Priya -Portland, Nancy - NYC, Michele - DC/Maryland and LB - Orlando

SO MANY MILES 

Some of my favorite ladies

And my shoe exploded. It didn't just break, it exploded and ceased to function

Funtimes is an understatement. Amazing isn't a strong enough word to describe my friends. I was completely surprised and overwhelmed at how much I am loved.  A huge thank you to dr soc for making it happen, and another billion thank yous to my best friends for all the miles traveled!    

Bones

Back in May, Girl 1 fell off her scooter on afternoon (wearing a helmet - a nonnegotiable) and cried and cried and cried right after it happened. We put some ice on it, propped her wrist and hand on a pillow, but she could move it and it wasn't swollen. So dr soc and I thought she was just being extra with all her 'life is over' and she 'was never going to have any fun again,' over and over that I rolled my eyes and told my sister it was a bit much. 

But because she really was going on and on about the pain, I told her if it still hurt that bad after dinner we would go to urgent care. When I asked if she still wanted to go, she nodded her head. Considering how much she fights me on most health things this should have tipped me off that something was wrong, but we still didn't think it was broken. We get to urgent care, tell them what happened, and the PA does some looking and feeling around, and says we need an X-ray. And then I look at her wrists and when you compare them yeah you can see one was swollen. Shit.

We get the X-ray and go back to the exam room to wait. I hear someone say 'it's broken' out in the hall, and I made an educated guess they were referring to us due to the fact there we were one of the only two patients there and the only one who just got an X-ray. And yup, a few minutes later they come in and tell us "it's broken' just like I heard in the hall. 

My girl broke down in tears along with my heart. She started to apologize which we quickly told her she had nothing to apologize for, it was an accident and it was not her fault in any way. I text dr soc with the results and we both feel like such assholes for thinking she was being a drama queen. Urgent care wraps her wrist in a temporary cast and we come home both emotionally worn down. 

We give her a little treat and some Tylenol for the pain, and then start getting her ready for bed. By now it's more than an hour past bedtime, not that Girl 2 was even trying to sleep. She escaped her room for her nightly avoid bedtime drink of water and to give Girl 1 to give a kiss goodnight.  Girl 2 adores her big sister, so when she saw this: 

temporary cast from urgent care

 She did this:

toilet paper roll

to match. 

A few days later Girl 1 got her purple cast and we had a truly lovely day together just her and me. And the break was clean and small so she only had to have it the cast on for 5 weeks too.  

some of our shenanigans

So yeah, the initial event that started it all sucked and mom and dad felt like assholes, but at least there was some cute news in there too. 

Truths

 Welp. As of today I'm 40. (FUCK). I mean, it's great I'm here. My 20s were fun, and I married the love of my life. My 30's I had my children and those two are...my greatest joys and my greatest annoyances. So my 40s...let's see what this decade brings! 

But what kind of milestone birthday blog would this be if I didn't do some sort of soapbox reflection? So I will present you some truths I stand by my 40 trips around the sun

• A good pen will make or break your day.
• A person's use of spell check is a determining factor in friendship levels.
• I loathe text talk.  
• Pandas are assholes.
• The patriarchy sucks.
• There is nothing redeemable about a Tuesday. 
• Glitter is the herpes of crafts
• Never trust a girl without girlfriends.
• Or squirrels.
• Always, always smell the milk first
• Generic applesauce and oatmeal taste like cardboard
• There is no such thing as a "quick trip to Ikea."
• Don't buy generic toilet paper. Ever
• Tupperware is unable to be organized and is my nemesis.
• You can never have too many coats.
• Or chairs.
• Or books! (don't you say a thing dr soc!)
• Removing that stay hair bothering the crap out of you from your clothes is one of life's greatest victories.
• With small children it's best not to ask what a stain is.
• Wearing a dress or skirt with pockets automatically defaults to a good day.
• I cannot please everybody. I am not a taco.
• A taco can fix almost everything.
• I'm very likeable.