Double Digits

Little turkey is 10 years old today. TEN. YEARS. OLD. 

Due the day after Thanksgiving, the Monday of that week they decided very suddenly it was time to arrive while we were watching Monday night football, and 6-7 hours later we had a baby!   

2015 debut

The year flew by then on 2016 she turned 1 on thanksgiving day  

2016 smash cake!

She turned 2 in 2017 and was a quintessential toddler. 

2017 Santa train

She became a threenager in 2018. 

Becoming a big sister earlier that year, she became a 'kid' to me by comparison to the baby. But there's still that sweet softness to her face and later the tantrums of a toddler. 

Turning four in 2019, we threw her fist friends party at the movies.     

A very happy birthday girl and her (honestly very happy to do all this) mommy

And 2020 was...2020. But she still turned 5, just no* one had birthday parties that year 

 *except dr Soc, we threw him a 40th in February right before the world shut down

In 2021 she started kindergarten and invited her whole class to her 6th birthday.  

The special guest made it the talk of the class! Still very young, but becoming a kid more and more.

For her 7th birthday in 2022 we went to Bounce U. The party started at 6pm, so by 8pm when we were eating most of the kids were so exhausted they were lying on the table as they ate!   

She's lost a few teeth and the baby softness of her face by then. Solid kid age. And her Lego prowess was on point.   

For her 8th birthday in 2023 (I pushed) for another movie birthday (because so easy!) party.

No biggie, just an 18+ | 1540 pcs Disney Villain Lego set for my 8 year old. She did 95% of this awesomeness by herself, and the only reason it wasn’t 100% was because I kept asking if I could “help”

 

In 2024 we went to the Monroe Science Center for her party 

Then Cajun Yard Dog for dinner (we made her share the cake!) 

Which brings us to now, 2025, and yup, we saw this! 

The movie for her party. She and I saw the play a month ago and had a wonderful night out. 

Oh beautiful girl, you made me and your dad parents and irrevocably changed our lives. Happy birthday Little Turkey!

Directive Language

So before I even had kids, I read somewhere/heard something that rather than saying 'stop xyz," use directive language in place. The reasoning that was the kid will hear stop xyz, and possibly stop mid whatever, but then they have to figure out what to do next in a split second and that can be overwhelming and big scary things and then meltdown. Something to that effect. 

Anyway, I liked that and tried to start thinking that way so it would be second nature when I had children who would listen to my every word and comply almost *85% of the time. 

* I say 85% because my 30-year old childless self was realistic and knew no one, let alone a child, would comply 100% of the time. Because I know my future kids would never**

**my real children never all the time.    

Anyway. It was harder than I thought, but I can do that on occasion. Some examples:

• Stop running! -> Walk please!
• For the hundredth time stop touching your sister's whatever -> For the hundredth time lets keep our hands to ourselves.
• Oh god stop stripping we are in public -> Oh god keep your clothes on for this moment please lord.
• Don't feed the dog your oatmeal I know it's hilarious but it's making both of you sticky and gross-> Oatmeal goes in just your belly and it's so funny how you get sticky and gross.    

It doesn't have to be complicated either, 43 year old me tells my real kids "take a deep breath" all the damn time instead of "calm the fuck down child" like I want to all the time.  

But it could work in other circumstances too. Like telling people to be kind, instead of stop being an asshole! Or like, how we should tell all men to understand consent instead of the simplistic "don't get raped" trope we tell women.  

I’m not here to…

Discuss xyz. But what I'm really going to do is express my opinion on xyz, and don’t want to hear anyone else’s abc opinion/facts. 

But if you do agree with xyz, you can comment in support. That's another unspoken rule of that 'disclaimer.' Another unspoken part: I put the disclaimer up because xyz is along the lines of the quiet parts said aloud. 

Funny thing is, the quiet parts were quiet usually due to shame or unpopular beliefs. Like separate but not equal is acceptable. Vaccinations are not  ‘big pharma’ money makers. Civil rights are only for cis-male-white everyone. Society may have changed and you may want to hold on to those outdated beliefs, but you kept that shit to yourself.  

So the I'm not here to discuss xyz really just means I'm going to say what I say and don't want to hear anything different. And in a way I get it, I also do not want to waste my energy defending my woke* ideals to closeminded fools.

*Whatever Offends Klanspeople* Easiest

*People because I'm being inclusive.  

Hypocrisy

How dare the government look at white peoples 2nd amendment right? But only for the white mostly male right holders. And even when a particularly hateful one of their own is a victim… if anyone points out you reap what you sow (aka fuck around and find out) that speaker is the asshole. 

And then that asshole will be canceled by the exact same people who are against cancel culture when it hurts any assholes in power. 

Not all white people bla bla bla, whatever. A blanket statement doesn’t apply to your special snowflake status. But they aren’t snowflakes themselves, no no no. That depravity is the snowflake. That snowflake is not special but also SO special. That not special special snowflake is not included in the blanket not all category with the other snowflakes who aren’t snowflakes.

Terrifying yes? 

My dad's girl

 Ten years ago my dad passed away. I'm....okay, but also not. Because it's been ten years. Enough amount of time the raw overwhelming malaise has quieted, but also a lot of time to have lived with that loss with no end.    

And so, life keeps moving. You adapt. The platitudes become rote and poignant. And the first 5 years were so hard. So very, very hard. But year six, I was okay, and the last  5 years I've been able to acknowledge the significance of the date and not let it consume me. And I think that's where I am today.  So...

Hi Dad!

Thanks for all the listening

I miss you. A lot. Especially today.

And love you, always and forever.