Weird

Today a patron walked into my work today and asked me if I worked there. When I asked how I could help them, they said they had 2 things. The first one was that they had found a (used) disposable razor on the curb outside and wanted to know where they could throw it away.

OK, a little weird. And eww. I offered the book I was holding as a sort of temporary table where they placed it. Why they didn't just leave it there on the curb I don't know, but fine, whatever.
The second thing was another thing they had found outside. In their had they had a blue napkin with a...wait for it...

A dead bird.  

I was in great shape and it wasn't even cold yet (which they knew because they kept touching it), so they wondering if we had a children's program that would have any use for it.

My response: "For a dead bird? NO."
OMFG. NO. 

That has to be the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me at work. When you work at the public library, some element of weirdness just comes with the job. But this... this...this was just weird. And I have seen some weird sh*t!  

Roof Types

So. My poor husband husband has shingles. Not the things you use on the roof variety. Nope. The health kind that can give you chicken pox variety.
He doesn't hurt which is really lucky. Shingles attaches/runs along a nerve which is why it's so painful in the first place. We also caught it pretty quick and the antibiotics the dr gave him are already working. He doesn't have to be quarantined from me since I've had chicken pox, and it's also safe for him to be around our families this holiday.
I'm sure he's enjoying me telling his health status to the internets, but I just feel so bad for him, even though he's not in pain. I'm probably just going to spoil him for a while, at least until it clears up. I don't think he'll hind that though.    

Mystery Date

With all the Buzz Is Back excitement in Charlotte, one of the fun things offered was a Hugo bobble head to every ticket holder. And since I love stuff, I suggested we go to that game since I had the night off. The hornets didn't win, it was a lot of sloppy play (at least that's what dr soc and my neighbor said, hell if I know what sloppy play actually looks like), but it was still a lot of fun. 

Well anyway, we got to the game well before tip-off for the bobble head so we had a decent amount of time to look at the court and how the arena was laid out for basketball. It made dr soc think of another time at the arena.

dr soc: Wasn't this how it was set up for when we saw the Trans-Siberian Orchestra?

me: Um, I don't really know, since I've never seen them.

dr soc: Wait, what? Didn't we come here for that?

me: Nope. We were here for Circ Du Soleil, but I've never seen the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. 

dr soc: ~starts blushing~ Oh. Um...I..yeah.

me: ~lovingly patting his shoulder~ Must be thinking of some other date dear.

dr soc: oh...

me: ~cackling~ Bet you enjoyed that date more than the awkward tent you're in now!    

Eat Me

So, something I legit need for my kitchen:
"DO NOT EAT" labels/signs.
Otherwise, my husband's hunger overtakes him and main/key ingredients fall victim to his voracious snacking.

No, seriously. Twice this week dinner plans were thwarted/nearly thwarted due to dr soc's snacking. I've been trying to get in the habit of menu planning, so I write down the 6 days of dinner ideas and shop accordingly. I like to try new recipes but usually only try one a week because I'm not insane.

Anyway, Monday was going to be chili pie. Chili, noodles, cornbread topping, bake. All things I had in the house. But when dr soc got home from his office hours he ate the leftover chili from Sunday's lunch for a snack. All of it. So no chili pie until I make another vat of chili. No biggie really, but it was fun to tease him.
And then tonight I asked if he could start prepping dinner since it was taking me such a long time to get home. I told him the cookbook to find the recipe and by the time I got home he had most of the marinade made. However, he told me when I got home that we almost didn't have enough cashews because he had once again snacked on a key ingredient when he got home from work!

I pretty much brayed like a jackass. But it's also a good thing I got home when I did because I got there before he added the garlic. Yeah, turns out dr soc didn't exactly know what a clove of garlic was. So even if we hadn't had enough cashews, the 4 heads of garlic would have certainly covered that void!

Math is Hard

At least 1992 Teen Talk Barbie thought so. (Apparently the actual saying is "math class is tough!" But "math is hard!" is funnier and Barbie has a pink convertible and a dream home, so, yeah, I'm going to make fun of her a little bit) Now my math skills can get rusty like anything else if you use them, but in general math is something I "get" and isn't an impossible task.

Unless. It involves the 1990's.
I will explain.

We were going through the materials at work that hadn't circulated in 2+ years. Some stuff was just not on the shelf, some were outdated and some were just plain terrible books that should have never been printed in the first place.

One of the books that circulated in some time was the book Kids, Computers, and Homework. It was the last copy in the entire system, but it was also one of those outdated materials I was referring to earlier. Even with it's awesome graphics I couldn't see a reason to keep it in circulation.

me: When was that published?
coworker: 1995. There probably isn't any relative information in this thing.
me: 1995? ~I quickly do the math~ Yeah, that was nearly 10 years ago. There might have been a few changes in computers in that time.  
coworker: Ten? You mean 20 years ago...
me: ::pause:: ~quickly do the math again~ Shit! You're right. What the hell?! How are the 90s not 10 years ago? Because I remember the 90s and I swear that was only 10 years ago.
coworker:  I don't know, I remember them too.
me: I seriously don't understand how someone born in 1992 can legally drink. Math is hard when it comes to the 90s.

Skill Set

So my niece is growing up so fast and no sooner that she mastered crawling, she figured out how to pull herself up on anything she can, walks along furniture, and pushes things around to use as a walker! She's also screaming just to scream, babbling just to babble and melts my heart when she blows kisses through the aunt machine (ipad).  Wasn't she just born, like 2 days ago?

She also has figured out how to take everything out of her toy basket. She's really good at that. What she hasn't quite mastered yet, is how to put things back into the toy basket. But honestly, she may never really master that skill. Because truth be told, putting things back is not a strong skill for the women in my family. If Birdie takes after her mom and aunt (and she already looks like me as a baby so she's off to a good start), she's going to be a great sprawler.

Barn Dance

Yesterday Mike and I went to a friend's wedding at the Alexander Homestead here in Charlotte. One of the biggest current trends in weddings (and almost everything) is rustic (and chevron. I fully blame pintrest), so a wedding at this place suits rustic but sill very pretty, look well.  

Anyway. Rustic is not my favorite look,* but whatever, to each their own. It was a lovely wedding and we wish them all the happiness in the world. But when dr soc and I were planning our wedding (ok, when I was planning our wedding, whatever), one of the first things we needed was the venue. We both didn't want to get married in a church, so we were going for a cool, different (inside**) venue. I ruled out a hotel ceremony, but the reception in a hotel ballroom wasn't out of question. But since we (ok, once again, me) was willing to spend a decent amount of money for a cool place, I wanted to spend as much time as possible there so it made sense to have the ceremony and reception at the same site.

So one of the venues on the docket was a vineyard. Wine is cool and vineyards are different! Yes! It was a little out of the way, which, given my husband's family's navigational skills this place already didn't bode well, but the pictures on the internets of the grounds were pretty, so it was at least worth a look. We're walking around on our own little self guided tour, and the inside space where events are held is a barn. You would think I would immediately say no way giving my rustic aversion, but since I had seen pictures of weddings there, with the right lights, flowers and  decorations, I could see it possibly working and was willing to think about it.

Dr Soc though, was not. While he agreed the vineyard was pretty and maybe one day we would check it out a little more, it was not going to be our wedding venue. When I asked him if there was any particular reason, he looked at me and said: "I don't want to get married in a barn. I'm not getting married next to a f*cking goat!"

Well ok then. No barn. The vineyard was officially ruled out, and we avoided rustic. Win win!  

*I mean seriously people, it's burlap. It's feed sack material, there's nothing f*cking fancy about it.
**Inside was a non-negotiable for me. I was not going to make a weather contingency plan or broil in the sun in late May and have sweat dripping down my cleavage. 

Half Tiger

I just finished the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua:

After all the press about this book a 2 years ago, when it came through my library I figured what the hell I'll read it. At the very least it could be an interesting read.   

I was absolutely fascinated. But not in an OMG-this-is-the-way-to-do-things way. More in an... OMFG this woman is insane. I just didn't understand the mindset and culture of the tiger mom and Chinese-style parenting. I thought maybe being half-Chinese I may have some frame of reference, but nope. Before reading this I also thought being half-Chinese, maybe I would go half tiger-mom on my kids when the time comes for me to parent. But the more I read, I realized, there is no half-ing anything when it comes to tiger mom-ing. 

Oh well. so much for that plan.   

No Shame

In light of Robin Williams' untimely death, I'm going to "come clean" about my mental health.
I have been taking an anti-depressant for a full year now. The past 10 years I have struggled on and off with depression, and since the spring of 2013 I developed anxiety in addition to my depression.

I caught some breaks here and there in that life calmed down enough that I could breath. I've learned coping methods that weren't alcohol, berating others or thoughts of ways to harm myself. I was incredibly lucky to have support everywhere I turned. And I'm incredibly lucky that I was strong enough for at least one moment to reach out for help, and start fighting the fear, loneliness and emptiness that was my mental health. It took a combination of counseling, support, love, medication and work,  to become healthy again.

Suicide is not selfish, it is tragic.  It is not a ploy for attention, because all I wanted to do was become invisible. I was so ashamed of my mental health. My weakness. The fear my entire world would crash into oblivion and not take me with it, leaving me alone to...I don't even know. At some point, I had to be brave and change the scary landscape I lived in. There wasn't a specific catalyst, but something pushed me to do so. Because it doesn't just "get better." It takes time, and a lot of work to heal.

There will always be moments and triggers that may upset me and set me off, but I cannot control those. I can only control myself. And I will not be shamed, I will not hide from this.

Get. HELP. There is no shame.    

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Today is my daddy's 70th birthday!
For the past 7-8 months I collected memories, pictures and kind words from family and friends and created a photo book through Shutterfly. But I wanted to do more than just give him memories, so my sister and I threw him a party!

It was a huge success, we held it at a restaurant so we didn't have to setup or take down which made for a stress-free party on my part. There was enough space for all the guests and enough food without having too many leftovers, all the guests and my mom loved the book, and I was delighted to perform my party trick of cutting the cake with floss. I very rarely take pictures, so I pretty much have to rely on other people to take pictures and hope they share with me. But my favorite moment was this:

Reenacting this picture from my 2nd birthday with my mom and my dad's mom:

happy birthday to me!

With my daddy 30 years later on his 70th!

Happy 70th birthday to my daddy!

Happy birthday Daddy!

Going Postal

We don't have a peephole at the back door at work. So whenever someone knocks we ask "who is it?" so not to open the door to a mass murderer or super creepster. While this method is not completely flawless, it works for the most part. (and there's always the option of looking out the window as a fail safe)
Anyway, when the mailman delivers the mail every morning, he knocks on the back door and answers the "who goes there?" question with a cheerful "mailman!" Because I love getting mail* and that the mailman is cheerful, I like to match his enthusiasm with a "yay! and/or thank you!" when I'm the one who opens the door.

Anyway, the mailman is at the very least amused by my reaction and always smiles. One day after our typical exchange, my boss asked me why I did that. I don't really remember the why and how it all started, but I figured I would keep it up. That way, if the postman happened to go postal and started taking people out, my hopes are that he'll remember that "nice girl from the library who was always happy to see him," and thus spare me. My boss thought that was stupid, but she's going to feel mighty foolish if my plan works.

*Just fun mail though. Junk, bills, and tree wasting catalogs I will forgo. But stuff like cards, packages, coupons and glossy magazines I love getting. And we get a ton of fun mail at work.

Let There Be Light

One night I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. As a fairly heavy sleeper, I knew that even in a sleep fog if I was waking up in the middle of the night I must really have to go and better get to it. So I did and returned to bed like you do. But as I was climbing back into bed dr soc stirred and was slightly confused to find me getting back into bed since me getting up in the middle of the night is a rarity in the first place.

--Note: this entire conversation occurred with us both in half-sleep-mode and was done with sleepy slurs and hazy logic in it's entirety--


dr soc: did you just go to the bathroom?
me: Yeah. Go back to sleep honey.
dr soc: Ok. Wait..did you turn on the light?
me: No. Turning on the light can wake you up more and I want to go back to sleep.
dr soc: Oh ok. ~pause~ You can go to the bathroom without a light? How?
me: I don't have to aim honey.
dr soc: Oh. Right. Goodnight.
 --A while later.--
We had gotten back from the gym or were getting ready in the morning or something that required a shower. I flipped on the shower light, turned on the water and Mike put our towels on the hook while we waited for the water to warm up to the (my) preferred scalding temperature.
mike: I turned off the shower light.
me: Why? I like the shower light.
mike: You do? What exactly do you do in the shower that you need light for? Do you need it to aim or something?
me: No...But I do need it if I'm shaving.  Or something.
mike: Ok, but are you going to shave this shower? 
me: I don't think so, but I still like the light.
--Mike gives me a look--
me: So I can pee the dark but not shower in it. Okay maybe that's a little weird but so what?
mike: Nothing.... Would you like me to turn the light back on then?
me: Yes. Yes I would.
mike: Ok. ~flips the light back on, smiling~ You weirdo.
me: Thank you. And yes, yes I am.
 --We went on vacation last week and we were checking out the bathroom of the rental house--
mike: Oh, and you will be happy to know there is a shower light in our bathroom. A very bright one too.
me: Yes!

Synonyms

On our anniversary Mike and I went to the Cheesecake Factory for dessert and sat at an outside table since it was a nice night. The patio was quieter than the restaurant so we could have a conversation with each other without shouting, and we could also hear the pop music playing through their sound system. Which is what a decent chunk of our conversation was about, the music. We would hear a song, reminisce about the last time we heard it or what it reminds us of, wonder whatever happened to the artist, yadda yadda yadda.

Anyway, a song by Seal comes on and Mike posed this question:
mike: What's Seal's real name anyway? Otter??
me: hahahahaha!

think it through

dr soc (on facebook): I'd be all about a moat if we didn't have to worry about snakes.........or the HOA. 
me (on fbk): Actually per our hoa, as long as the moat is within a 3' radius of the perimeter of the house, we can landscape how we see fit. The snakes though....I got nothing.
facebook friend: Snakes are why you have outdoor cats.
me (in head): Outdoor cats* are feral and disgusting creatures. No fcking way. 
me (on fbk): Nope, per the hoa, no outdoor animals either.

Anyway. I was reiterating this conversation at work to my coworker who is just fabulous. She and I have similar thought processes so when I mentioned I had no idea how to get rid of the snakes (which she is also terrified of), her response was:

coworker: That's what the alligators are for! Duh!
me: Of course! Clearly you have thought this though!
coworker: Well, kinda. I had this conversation with my kids when they were little, and they gave me the alligator solution when they wanted a moat for our yard.  
me: Your kids are a little brilliant. 

*Indoor cats aren't my cup of tea either, but in my defense I am allergic to them. I'm not going to hold it against someone for having them and I take the good behind the counter allergy pills when vising feline homes. But as far as me ever owning on? No fcking way.  

Memory Lane Monday

So there's this thing called Throwback Thursday/#tbt where you post old pictures of yourself on some social media site. I only recently started playing along (seriously, maybe a month ago) and posted a few old photos here and there on the facebooks on a Thursday in proper throwback form. 

So far I don't think I have anything exciting to throwback this Thursday (a class picture while I'm in class maybe? meh), and it's Monday so I've declared it Memory Lane Monday because I have something way better than any little kid picture to throw back to from 2 years ago:

 my favorite wedding picture

We said I do!
Happy year 2 honey!

Football Words

My husband is a die-hard Cleveland Browns fan. So watching football with him (and the rest of the men in the family) is amusing because it's peppered with colorful phrases and curse words. It just comes with the territory. I don't really bat an eye because I don't have the most pristine vocabulary either, so really it's only a matter of time before our future children hear something we would rather have them not repeat. But rather than us be adults and try to change our behavior and make an attempt to curb the ingrained language of football season, we'll probably just tell them those are "football words" that we only say during football games.*

Anyway, twenty minutes before the second day of the 2014 NFL draft, the story of Josh Gordon's failed drug test/suspension breaks and dr soc was pissed. Actually, pissed is really an understatement, because the regular "football words" were replaced with some really bad ones even for him. And because I am an awesome wife, after I picked up my mouth from dropping in surprise, I just pointed and laughed. 

*This is a flawless plan brought to you from my childless parenting skills. 

Derby Pie

Last week was the first Saturday of May and that means one thing and one thing only for this Kentucky lady: The DERBY!!!!!!
I try not to pick a horse because that pretty much hexes them, but that doesn't mean I don't secretly hope one will win. (This year my secret pick showed (3rd place), so at least I didn't completely take away it's mojo. But the one horse/jockey that I really wanted to win...last place. :( sorry!). I've only been to the Derby once (best bachelorette party ever), but at least since college I have always, always made sure to watch it on, this year being no exception. I had some (a lot of) thoughts this year:

• I get that they need filler pre-race but what the hell is this simulated race analysis nonsense they are trying to do? Seriously WTF?? Don't they know there is no simulating the most exciting two minutes in sports?
• At least do another one of those "human/horse" interest stories if you need filler.
• Oh wait, nbc has the Derby and that means the human/horse interest story will most likely be done by... 
• Damit. I hate Bob Costas. 
• I wish the pinkeye that sidelined him in Sochi had stuck around to do the same for the Derby.
• Speaking of Sochi, under things that I do wish had stayed there: Tara Lipinski and Johny Weir. I just...yeah, no, I just don't care. I guess they were a hoot in Russia and with the color commentary and they have that Will and Grace thing going for them and all, and yeah the Derby is somewhat about fashion...But they should stick to ice skating.
• And by fashion, I mean HATS. It's mostly about the hats. The fashion is the accessory to the hat, Not the other way around.
• My Old Kentucky Home! I love that every year the whole nation sings my state song.
• Thoroughbreds are such amazingly beautiful animals.
• In the gate! In the gate! In the gate! Hold my breath...
• AND THEY'RE OFF!!!! Go baby go!
• I can't tear my eyes away for one second...oh there goes the favorite into the lead!
• More lead! more lead! go baby go!
• 2014 has a Derby Champion, way to go California Chrome!!!
• Seriously, you can't simulate the most two exciting minutes in sports. Don't ever do that again. 

  

Simon Says, Part 2

When my friends were visiting:

me: I had the I do whatever Jeanne tells me conversation again the other day.
Jeanne: Ha! How'd it go?
me: Pretty much the same way only shorter this time. My coworker asked the if-she-told-you-to-jump-off-a-bridge-would-you-question, I responded with my yes-I-would-but-why-is-she-asking-me-answer, she asked the usual really?-question, I said yes-but-why-is-she-telling-me-to-jump? again, and then before it went any further I said I've had this conversation before and you will give up and acquiesce to the fact that I do whatever Jeanne tells me.
Jeanne: Hahaha!
me: Yep. You know, I consider that conversation one of my greatest victories of all times.

Lucky Number 7

So on Sunday March 16, Mike and I ran a half marathon. Yes, that's right, we both ran it! My weightlifting preferring, super strong husband decided that he would run a half marathon and I said I would do it with him.


Me, well, I didn't train very much (turns out that's pretty much my MO), but I still finished at 2:22 something. Not my best time, not my worst time, and I hurt like a mofo the next few days but I fully expected that. I knew I wasn't going to win the thing, But I also knew I wasn't going to be in last place either, and hell, this one makes number 7 for me. SEVEN! Sometimes even I have a hard time believing I've done that many. I keep saying I'm going to do another marathon, but finding the time to train (for real) is difficult with the full time job and grad school. Maybe one day. Meh, we'll see.

But because that race was my 7th, I was much more excited for Mike's race and experience than my own. I knew he would finish before and that I wasn't going to match his pace, but I knew he would finish and I couldn't wait to see him at the finish line. His time was 1:49: something and I'm pleased as punch for him!

Yay running!

novocaine

Last week out of the blue I had a monster toothache flare up. I really was in agony, the throbbing got so intense that I was on the brink of tears at time. At home I took a few anti-inflammatories and kept an icepack to my face to alleviate some of the pain, but my 7am dentist appointment the next morning couldn't come fast enough.

Thank god I was able to get an appointment though. I had tried to call them several times while at work and the call dropped and never connected every time. For a dentists' office that sends a snail-mail reminder, an email, a phone call and text message to remind you of an appointment, it was baffling not being able to call them. I decided to try their appointment request online, and about an hour later they emailed me back with a 7am or noon appointment. (Turns out their phones were down that day for some reason, but it was so frustrating to not be able to call them the one time i really really needed to see them.)

Anyway, 7am arrives and I am in the dentist chair, miserable and still holding the icepack to my face. The dentist figured the pain could be from one thing or another. Either the nerve was infected and created and abscess that would require a root canal specialist, or the nerve was just beat up from my bite and the whole area around the tooth was bruised. But to even figure it out they would have to do a bite adjustment. If the pain increased I needed the specialist, if it decreased I had the bruise. Before they started the bite adjustment though, my dentist said I probably couldn't take all the work they would have to so they were going to give me some Novocaine to help then get to work.

My reaction to the Novocaine? "Yay!" Apparently, that is not a normal response.

PS: I had the bruise. Yay again!

Pintrest Fail

My husband and I are both birthday people. Meaning, we both enjoy celebrating them and the attention/affection that comes along with them as well. Well, dr soc's birthday is February 19 and since that was a work day, I wanted to do a little something special so his students and coworkers would know. The night before I had the great idea for him to bring treats to class, so I was going to make chocolate covered mint oreos. Melt chocolate, stick a cake pop stick in the filling, dip, done.

Except.

If the cake pop sticks weren't in the exact center of the creme filling it would pop off the cookie halves. And the melted chocolate was too thick and would trap the smushed back-together cookie. In addition to that, since I wanted 3/4ths to the whole cookie covered in chocolate, when I spooned it over the cookie, the chocolate falling from the spoon was much more of a "plopping" than a smooth waterfall-like cascade. The uneven somewhat circular blobs of chocolate with cake pop sticks at random angles were a far cry from pintrest idea I had in my head. Rather than beat myself up about it, I scrapped whole treats for the class idea and brought the tasty but ugly cookies to work. 

And besides, I had done this to his office door before coming home

Birthday Bostons!

The full view - hehehe!

So I wasn't too upset about my pintrest fail when I knew that was waiting to surprise him the next day.
Here's a closeup of the two pictures that planted the decorate his door idea in my head:

Happy birthday indeed! SNARF!!!

 And this one:

Dancing Boston is feeling it!

And then we met for dinner at one of our favorite places and I gave him a shark beenie baby to add to his office menagerie. The tiny octopus and wind-up dinosaur were getting lonely after all. 

Milk Sandwiches

So we're getting real snow in North Carolina and the city is shutting down. The schools and libraries closed early and both have already call a snow day for tomorrow. Turns out you get just as excited about a snow day as an adult as you did when you were a kid. Well, at least you do when you have a salary so you don't worry about your paycheck being short, don't have to figure out childcare* plans and the only person you need to entertain is yourself. I'm pretty sure I'll change my tune to that last part after we have kids and a snow day means: oh crap what am I going to do to entertain the minions?**

Since Mike is grew up in Northeast Ohio snow was a matter of when not if. I grew up in Kentucky and we didn't get snow that often, but I know to keep a snow brush in my car and to charge all my battery powered devices just in case we loose power. So whenever snow is mentioned in the south, I always make a crack about needing to buying bread and milk. (We usually actually do need both though, Mike goes through both really fast!) Anyway, yesterday it was just a possibility of snow and everyone was freaking the fck out. I needed to run by the pharmacy so I was going to grab dinner too on my way home from class. I was going to get Panera but on on my way there I passed the grocery store. I thought: cheaper, better chance of leftovers and faster than waiting for take out. Yes. Good plan.


Yeah no. That was a grave misjudgement on my part. Because I forgot about every other southerner's need to make milk sandwiches whenever the S-word is mentioned.

*We're really lucky that and that the industries we work in if the kids have a snow day, more than likely at least one of us will have a snow day as well.
**Crafts. So. Many. Crafts.***
***But no glitter. Glitter is not allowed in my house.  

Surprise!

When I worked retail I had to write down my schedule from week to week. If I needed time off for anything, a haircut, a weekend trip, getting married, etc, I had to ask off for it way in advance or try to schedule around my haphazard work life since there was always a chance I would be scheduled to make minimum wage and get berated by my boss. It made it pretty hard to plan much in advance, but that's just the crappy way being in retail is.

But the same time I started grad school I also got my two library jobs. My schedule became super busy, but between the two jobs hours and set class times, my schedule became fairly regular. Even my weekends were on a regular, rotating schedule (every other weekend). So even though my schedule was busy, it was fairly easy to keep track of.

For me at least.

Ever since I started graduate school I've had a class on Monday nights. The time changes here and there, but since August 2012, my Monday night is either class or working. So for all intents and purposes the past year and a half, Monday nights, I'm busy. Yet every time my husband suggests something for Monday night, and I tell him I can't (due to me being in class), he is always surprised. Sigh.

Adventures in Exercise

-5:50 pm-
mike: What time did you want to go to the gym?
::I check my Y's exercise class schedule on the internets::
me: There's a zumba class at 6:45 I'd could go to. Lets go then.
6: 40 pm- ::at the gym::
mike: I'll see you in an hour after your class. Come get me if I'm not done by them.
me: Sure thing. See you in about an hour
6:45 pm- ::I arrive at where zumba is:: 
me: hmm, they're using a lot of equipment, and this posted class schedule says this is a step/strength class...Shit. Oh well, I'll give it a try, here goes.
6:55 - OK, so this is definitely NOT like zumba. But I'll just try to keep up.
7:00 - Yeah, I'm just going to have to work at my own pace.
7:10 - Now we're using weights. I can do some weight work.
7:12 - Maybe I can do light weights next rep.
7:15 - I hate weights. 
7:20 - God I wish this was zumba
7:23 - I'll do the reps but forgo the weights.
7:25 - I hate reps.
7:30 - Just ten more minutes. I can do ten more minutes!
7:35 - I think I'm going to throw up
7:40 - I still think I'm going to throw up. Must remain standing. Must find husband. Must remain standing to find husband.
7:42 - ::see husband!::
me: That wasn't zumba.
mike: No? Was it pilates?
me: God no. It was a step/strength class. It kicked my ass. And I'm really nauseous now.
mike: OK, I'll finish up in about 5 minutes. You go sit down.
me (weakly): OK.
::I sat down for a few minutes in the locker room which helped the nausea::
7:45 -
me (sadly): The internets lied to me. How could they? I should pick up a paper copy of the class schedule so I can double check next time.
-7:50 --Mike approaches the chair I managed to get half my butt on. I missed the first time and it was too much effort to try to get the other half on there as well. 
mike: hey, you look a little better. You ready to go?
me: Yes. So, I looked at the paper schedule. The 6:45 step/strength class is right here on the schedule for room two. And the 6:45 zumba class is on the schedule . In room one. -pause- I'm a dumbass.
mike: Aw!
me: Yeah. Oh well, I'm going to consider my entire aching being a just punishment for thinking the internets had forsaken me.
mike: OK dear, Let's go get some dinner. And hey, at least it wasn't pilates.
me: Truth. If it had been I would have walked out the second I figured it out. I hate pilates.
mike: I know you do.
me: Seriously, fuck pilates.

Ridiculousness

I'm at work when my co-worker (male, and maybe old enough to be my grandpa) tells me "dear, I think you have a rip in the back of your pants." I had no idea and of course I can't see it, so I'm comically looking over my shoulder turning in circles trying to look at my ass. I asked Nelson where the rip was, but then he said with some embarrassment "well, it's in a spot I don't really want to point it out..."

Upon hearing this, I know I need to go to the bathroom to look. And sure enough, my jeans have thinned so much along the seam there's a noticeable bare patch from ass to lady-parts. Cue the giggling. Fortunately for me, I'm only working a half day, and even more fortunately I'm wearing full coverage underwear. But this doesn't solve the immediate problem of there being a rip in my pants.

Now, the whole time I'm spinning in circles our other coworker could see us on the security camera in the back all he can do is laugh. I'm the MacGyver of our staff so if anyone is going to fix this problem it's going to be me. Plus we are talking about my pants, and the only one who should be taking care of those types of problems is me (or my husband) anyway. While I don't want to put tape on the outside of my pants, I figure I can put some inside just to keep the rip from getting bigger in the next 2 hours.

But then, I couldn't find any duct tape. We had packing tape, sealing tape, book tape, masking tape, double-sided tape, scotch tape and some tacky glue, but no duct tape. I decided that the sealing tape was the next best option since the width of the tape was bigger than the rip, thus I would have to use less of it. I go back to the ladies room, place the necessary amount of tape to keep the rip in place and head back to the workroom. But suddenly I have a different problem: the tape crinkles as I walk. And honestly, I'm not sure which one is worse!

At least I can sit for most of my 2 hours left, so it's really not going to be that bad, just funny. I text my husband about how silly this day has been, and his response is: "at least you are taking it in stride." Which made me realize we would be making a lot of walking/my pants puns. But I figured the whole situation was ridiculous enough, so if a rip, some tape and a couple of bad puns was as bad as it was going to get, it would be fine. But I was wrong, because then the tape starts itching.

At that point I just gave into the complete ridiculousness of the situation and giggled the rest of my shift. Sitting down. 

Doctors

Dr. Soc and I were leaving the hospital after spending the afternoon with my dad. As we were walking* towards the garage where our car was parked, Mike pointed towards the rock star parking portion that was closed off with a gate.

mike: I see that on the gate it says "physicians' parking," and not "doctors' parking." So I can't park there.
me: Haha! No honey, you're not that kind of doctor.

--Later that evening as we were having diner at our friends' house --  

me: Cough-cough-cough-cough.
mike: ~exasperated~:  Priya, she has been coughing for 2 months now. Tell her she needs to see a doctor.
priya: You need to see a doctor.
me (between hacks): Hey, Priya is a doctor! Board certified and everything. And technically I'm looking at her right now...so...does that count?
mike and priya: No (emphatically I might add).
me: ~huff~: Fine. Besides, I promised I would never be "that" friend. But if just seeing did count then I could be done with this whole thing because I did marry a doctor and I see him all the time.
mike: Haha! I'm not that kind of doctor!   

*And by walking, I mean scurrying as fast as we could because it was so damn cold.**
**Seriously, in the teens-to-low-twenties-cold. It wasn't us just being lily-livered-southerners-who-think-anything-below-50-is-cold-cold.

Happy New Year

So. My 2014 started off with a bang.
New Years Day we drove to Kentucky to visit my parents and our friends. Saturday we were headed to cinci for a college friends wedding, and Sunday we were headed back to Charlotte. But those plans were scraped because:

My dad was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia.

The day after Mike and I arrived (Thursday), when dad came home from his adult day care, he was moving incredibly slow, barely had any coordination and balance, and he was trembling all over and leaning heavily towards his right side. I hoped that it was just his blood sugar being low due to his diabetes, but the shaking and leaning had me so scared that I feared this was something far worse (a stroke). Dad has lost most of his ability to talk, so even if he did know and could describe what was wrong, he couldn't even tell us anyway. With his doctor's office closed for the evening and the doctor on call being busy when my mom called, Mike and I exchanged and look and decided we were taking him to the ER now.

With a lot of difficulty we got him in the car and with even more difficulty we got him out of it. Dad was like a rag doll at this point, so it took all 3 of us to move him from the car, and even then if it wasn't for the help of a good Samaritan, he would have collapsed on me and than both of us would have been hurt. He was checked in and taken back to an exam room pretty quickly, and then we waited. (Turns out I went to elementary school with the ER admitting tech. She couldn't remember if I was the older or younger one (older), but she did remember that one of us sucked our thumb for a really long time (that was totally my sister).) Eventually from all the tests, blood draws and other hospital stuff, the doctor diagnosed a clear case of pneumonia.

He was given antibiotics and admitted for treatment after that, but he would have to stay in the hospital for at least a few days. And you know, it never occurred to me he would be admitted. Even though pretty much anything with the exception of low blood sugar would probably require hospitalization, it didn't even cross my mind he would have to stay in the hospital for some reason. Mike said that was due to being in crisis mode, we were so focused on finding out what was wrong that we couldn't fathom anything past that point.

I could go on and give more details about the rest of our visit, but frankly I'm so tired and I'll finish up the rest of the story tomorrow. But my dad is recovering very well and he can leave the hospital tomorrow! Yes we were in crisis mode, but all things considered, it was a manageable crisis and it put mom, my sister and I on the same page of dad's care, which is something we have never had before.

So yeah, my dad certainly started 2014 with a bang.

Update 1/10/14:
Dad went home on Wednesday the 8th and he's doing very well. There really isn't much more of the story anyway. We spent the next few days rotating shifts and staying overnight with dad. We decided to not go to the wedding and missed seeing my college friends, but everyone understood and we did get a little more time to see our Lexington friends. And my mom finally, finally has started accepting help with my dad's care. So I'll reiterate that while this was a crisis and really scary, all things considered, things are going to be ok.