Derby Pie

Last week was the first Saturday of May and that means one thing and one thing only for this Kentucky lady: The DERBY!!!!!!
I try not to pick a horse because that pretty much hexes them, but that doesn't mean I don't secretly hope one will win. (This year my secret pick showed (3rd place), so at least I didn't completely take away it's mojo. But the one horse/jockey that I really wanted to win...last place. :( sorry!). I've only been to the Derby once (best bachelorette party ever), but at least since college I have always, always made sure to watch it on, this year being no exception. I had some (a lot of) thoughts this year:

• I get that they need filler pre-race but what the hell is this simulated race analysis nonsense they are trying to do? Seriously WTF?? Don't they know there is no simulating the most exciting two minutes in sports?
• At least do another one of those "human/horse" interest stories if you need filler.
• Oh wait, nbc has the Derby and that means the human/horse interest story will most likely be done by... 
• Damit. I hate Bob Costas. 
• I wish the pinkeye that sidelined him in Sochi had stuck around to do the same for the Derby.
• Speaking of Sochi, under things that I do wish had stayed there: Tara Lipinski and Johny Weir. I just...yeah, no, I just don't care. I guess they were a hoot in Russia and with the color commentary and they have that Will and Grace thing going for them and all, and yeah the Derby is somewhat about fashion...But they should stick to ice skating.
• And by fashion, I mean HATS. It's mostly about the hats. The fashion is the accessory to the hat, Not the other way around.
• My Old Kentucky Home! I love that every year the whole nation sings my state song.
• Thoroughbreds are such amazingly beautiful animals.
• In the gate! In the gate! In the gate! Hold my breath...
• AND THEY'RE OFF!!!! Go baby go!
• I can't tear my eyes away for one second...oh there goes the favorite into the lead!
• More lead! more lead! go baby go!
• 2014 has a Derby Champion, way to go California Chrome!!!
• Seriously, you can't simulate the most two exciting minutes in sports. Don't ever do that again.