Alternatives

We're the first couple to get married at our venue, so the place/staff pretty much has no idea what we can and cannot do. For example:  most places don't allow confetti, rice, bird seed, flower petals, ect, to be tossed at the couple because it is a pain in the ass to clean up.  However, at my venue, totally ok to do so (because they have no idea).
When I asked if we could have a unity candle in the ceremony (more on that in a second), they also said that was alright. As long as we have the fire martial present. Which, what? Three lit candles total, burning for a half hour in a room with 150 people to keep an eye on it, and I have to have a fire martial? But we can have those same 150 people each throw a handful of rice at us, create a big ol' mess and that's ok?

Anyway, rather than make a fuss about it, I just figure we can do something else in lui of the unity candle.  So I google* unity candle alternatives, and here are some alternatives:

• Sand. (Mike's brother did this at his wedding. It was nice) 
• Water (Colored water, white dress, my penchant for splashing....not so much)
• Knot tying (3 ropes: bride, groom, and god. Fine for some couples, but definitely not us.)
• Foot washing. (my uncle and his wife did this. It's as awkward and weird as that sounds)

But the one that just took the cake for us was:

• Painting.  Two canvases, side by side, and the moms place brushes up there. The bride and groom then each squiggle some abstract artistic line across the seam, spanning both canvases. So that, if separated, the abstract canvases look silly, but when joined together, create a unified, symbolic, and unique piece.  Uh huh.

Now, as I'm reading this idea to Mike, we are both just laughing groaning at the cheese factor and the clicheness of it all.  It's a unique** enough take on the idea, but it's campy as hell.***

Now with an influx if alternatives, I start thinking logistics. Because one of the elements that I really like in the unity candle ceremony is our moms lighting the two candles prior to us. So if we use something like sand, water, or even colored rocks to pour into a vase, how do we get our moms involved? Do they pour whatever we decide to use into something first? Do they carry it down the aisle?  So then I start cracking up at the thought of having our moms carry a bag of rocks down the aisle. (oh like you aren't laughing either. It's a bag of rocks!) Needless to say, the idea needs some more thought.  

*Does anyone else get slightly disappointed when they open google and it's the regular logo and not a google doodle?
**IE: stupid.**** 
***Plus, is it really all that unique if the other thousands of couples getting married this have to share the same 8 ideas? Just saying.
****Judging! Judging!