Pallet

There are certain "human foods" you can and cannot give your dog. When Bailey was back after the parvo, the vet gave us the ok to give her broiled chicken breast and rice. Basically, we just wanted to get her eating and something that would be easy on her system too.

Post-parvo, pre-knee-gate, Bailey ate a bunch of grapes I left on the counter. I caught her red pawed in the kitchen with the stem still sticking out of her mouth. She looked incredibly guilty too which made the moment even more hysterical. But something inside me said "call the vet," and I'm really glad I did because grapes are horrible for dogs. It won't cause instant death, but something in grapes/raisins build up in their systems and eventually renal (kidney) failure sets in. The vet asked
vet: how many did she have?
me: a whole bunch.
vet: are we talking 3 or 4? Or more like 15+?
me: no really, the whole bunch.
vet: oh. Yeah, that's bad. How long ago did she eat these?
me: no more than 15 minutes ago.
vet: ok, we have time. Can you bring her in right now?
me: I'm on my way, I'll be there in 15.

An hour and half, $90 and one miserable looking puppy later, everything was fine. But after having this scare, I went on a frantic interweb search for other harmful/dangerous/no-no human foods. I discovered that mushrooms and onions were also on the forbidden food list for Bailey.

Now as we also know, my ex was a notoriously picky eater, and his list of no-no foods was longer than a 5 year olds. Nothing would actually kill him like Bailey's no-no foods would kill her. He just was coddled as a kid and I for some unknown reason put up with that bullsh*t. Anyway he loathed mushrooms and onions, so when I told him they were bad for Bailey, he responded along the lines of:

x: See, I knew Bailey and I were alike, bad for her, no good for me either.
me: um, did you just compare your pallet to our dog's? She eats her own poop!