I want to be loved again. Not in the family or friends way, because I have that and it never went away. And it's wonderful and I know how extremely lucky that is. But I want to be loved in a romantic way again. From someone that I love back and want to marry.
I know my ex loved me. I believe he wanted to marry me and to spend the rest of our lives together. But we wanted different lives and I left because it his love wasn't enough. And while I can't give a list of what is and what will make me happy, I know what I had wasn't right.
Honestly, I know we were not very compatible. People really didn't get why we were even together. His friends thought he lucked out, while my friends weren't super impressed to say the least. And even though I was constantly trying to tweak things and break what I deemed as bad habits, when it comes down to it, I loved him too. Faults and all, I loved him. And I wanted to marry him too.
But woe is me, no one's ring shopping and planning how to spend our forever. And I don't have have anyone serious on my wish list either. And so while my heart is mended and I love my people, part of it still feels empty.
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