Scary Stuff

Disclaimer: woman health blog

I've had more "scares" then I'd like to admit. Even though I'm on the pill, there's still always that chance. And one of the happy side effects of my pills is a lighter flow. Really light, almost no existence light.

So, I've taken a few test in my life to reassure myself. And I was never super worried since I had my normal not-knocked up symptoms (aka: pms). So the test was just an odd sort of insurance policy. I even got a little nonchalant about them when I was engaged.

So nonchalant that I forgot how scary they can be. Because it's one thing to take a pregnancy test when you're engaged. It's another thing to be late having just broken up with the guy.

That's a lot scarier. Because all those times with my ex, even if the result had been positive, at least had him. And my biggest concern was honestly I didn't want to be fat in my wedding gown. When you're standing in a Meijer's bathroom, shaking, watching the seconds go by on your watch, terrified your life is about to change in a bathroom stall in the middle of mother f*cking Ohio... It was the most alone I had ever felt in my life. And when the result was negative, I laughed with relief and glee. But I still felt pretty alone.