Ok, it's been a year since I seriously starting thinking about breaking my engagement. And it's about time I get over it.
I am for the most part. But there are still hiccups. I flinch if I get an email from him. I got a little upset he didn't wish me happy birthday. I smirk when I cook with all the things he hated. The thought of him with another girl annoys me. Sometimes I wish I kept my engagement ring, because I still think of it as mine, but mostly because I'm afraid he'll put it on another girl's hand.
So there's still some bitter there. I might have some of it the rest of my life. And I know that if I ever see him again, even if it's in 50 years with grown children and a well lived life, my breath will stop in my chest and I'll be that very lost and hopeless 26 year old.
But it got better, which amazes me. And I hope this is the hardest thing I'll ever choose to do, because I don't know if it was worth the anguish. But time has passed and it does heal most wounds. And it's no longer an excuse.
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