Old Wives Tales

Want to know what Little Turkey is? We do too! But until baby make's it's big debut, we're just going to have to rely on the old wives tales I've been collecting (from the internets, coworkers, and completely random strangers all have opinions) and speculate. So:

1. Sleep position: Sleep on my right side = girl, Sleep on my left side = boy
• I try to sleep on both sides, but I usually start and wake up on my right. Girl
2. Nausea: Sick as a dog = girl. Happy no nausea preggo? (those b*tches!)? = boy
• Ugh, the 1st trimester overall nausea, dinnertime puking, random breakfast second trimester puking, and now the occasional wave of 3rd trimester nausea. Girl
3. Soft or dry hands: soft = girl, dry = boy
• I have both. Dry after washing my hands (which I do after going to the bathroom every half hour. So a lot), but then soft since I moisturize right after (which also happens about every half hour as well). Neutral
4. Food cravings: sweet cravings and citrus = girl. Salty cravings = boy 
• Oh the sweet tooth! The baby does a little happy dance when I indulge (I bought a billion bags of Halloween candy (I had coupons! $2 off 3, you bet your ass I did!)) And I have a glass of orange juice in the morning which is new. But then again, I love pickles on my hamburger and I typically only like a bite of pickle every 3 months or so. And I've selected  salty treats here and there too. But the sweet tooth is the overall ruler. Girl
5. Girls steel your beauty, boys enhance 
• Zits, oh the zits. My normally beautiful, soft, smooth, unblemished skin that is the envy of many is breaking out like crazy (3 zits at one time?!). Solidly girl  
6. Graceful swan= girl. Clumsy = boy
• I'm already a little clumsy, but now I knock myself into everything. I fall over in yoga. And my tummy bumps and gets in the way all the time. And why is getting up so difficult?  Boy
7. A fuller full face = girl. Normal face = boy
• normal face Boy
8. Moody? = girl. Even keel = boy
• People need to stop being so incredibly stupid if they don't want to irritate me. Some idiots can't even breath without showing their ineptitude at life. Which, no. I've been throwing some serious shade (refer back to number 2 if you need further clarification). I spit nails the other night because I couldn't access a silver alert and possibly help someone. My grouchy levels are high and my bullshit tolerance is non-existent. And the feels! Why is anything that is supposed to illicit the feels have so. many. feels?! WHY? So..uh yeah, girl. 
9. How I carry the belly: high = girl, low = boy
• No idea. I have a longer torso and my belly is right in the middle. Neutral 
10. How I carry the belly "sports" edition: cute round basketball shape belly = boy. Not as cute wider pointier football shape belly = girl 
• Adorable basketball belly. Boy
11. Weight gain in the front = boy, weight gain that spread out = girl 
• Considering people figured out I was pregnant before I told them because my ass getting wider, we'll give that one to the girl. 
12. Conception age and the year are both even or odd = girl. An even/odd combination = boy
• I became pregnant at 32 in the year 2015. So even/odd combo is a boy.
13. Internet Chinese gender prediction: enter your age and month you conceived baby and hit the predict button (I don't know the maths/reasoning behind these calculations) They just gave me 
• boy 
14. Heartbeat: 140+ = girl 140- + boy
• All heartbeat readings have been 140+ girl
15. Mommy's dreams: whatever you dream you're having, opposite is what comes out.
• Around 20 weeks I dreamed we were having a girl. Boy  
16. Tie husband's wedding ring to a string and dangle over my tummy. If it spins in a circle = girl. Spin back and forth = boy (This one is the most accurate because we tested this one over my friend's tummy who is also pregnant and we know she's having a girl, and her spin was a definite circle) 
• Back and forth, 2 of 3 times: Boy 

So in the girl column we have: 7
And in the boy column we have: 7
Neutral : 2

So...happy speculating!

General Baby Stuff

At 37 weeks I'm at the point of no return going to the doctor every week now. And if I go into labor the doctor wont stop it. But at least we confirmed that the baby flipped! Baby's head is down and butt is up, and isn't likely to flip back. S/he is still head butting my bladder and kicking/squishing my lungs at the same time which isn't the most pleasant, but at least we don't have to schedule a c-section before Thanksgiving. Phew! (I could still end up having one if baby decides to not come out in a reasonable amount of time, but that's a possibility I can handle)

In other pregnancy/baby news.
I was rear-ended the day before Halloween and I am fine. But since I wanted to get the baby checked out too (because that's what you do when you are pregnant) I had to go to labor and delivery since the ER doesn't have the monitoring equipment for a baby in utero. I go to the proper area, get hooked up to the fetal monitor and wait. And wait. And wait some more, and then was told the midwife wanted to keep me for about 4 more hours of observation. Which, fine, I already called work and Mike was with me and I like him a whole whole lot, so we just hung out for a while. Then about a half hour of us getting sprung, the on call doctor comes in. Turns out I has having contractions (that I had no idea I was having) 5-6 minutes apart (!) when when I first arrived and I was still having them (!!) every so often, so I was going to be kept 24 hours from the accident, so overnight, for more observation. So we got a trial run of our hospital stay, which is a good thing because we learned the place is cold and made notes about what to pack in the hospital bag for when the time actually comes. And baby was perfectly fine after all that, so that's good.
Oh yeah, that aforementioned hospital bag? We've sorta got it packed... Meaning we have stuff we can pack ahead of time set to the side but it's not in an actual bag yet. Because if we're being honest, having that bag packed freaks me out a little. And by "little" I mean holy-sht-i'm-going to be-a-mommy-so-it's-not-mature to admit I want to run away screaming.

Also, I'm over my body being up for public discussion. Well, I was never "in" to that for the record. When a patron at work informs me I wasn't pregnant the last time they saw me, (pretty sure they're wrong on that one)  or someone who doesn't even know my last name goes on and on how tiny I am for so far along, it's uncomfortable. I know being told you are a small pregnant woman is supposed to be flattering, but you are still talking about my body. Mine. Not up for public discussion. (Though if the political climate keeps going the way it is as a woman I'll have no rights over it anyway.) And we can also leave my baby's parts out of that public conversation. That's no one's business either. Unless we have a girl that is. Because then she'll have no rights over her body either and we can talk all about it.

Breech of Contract

At my last doctor's visit the doctor was feeling around my belly but couldn't quite figure out where baby's head was. So out comes the ultrasound machine and baby is breech.
That little punk!
However, at that appointment I was just over 34 weeks, so there's still time and space for baby to move head down and butt up. My doctor gave me the okay to try and flip the baby on my own with some yoga positions, so I every night I give it a go. She also mentioned an Indian ritual of walking over hot coals, but I'm just going to leave that one alone. As a last resort maybe I can convince baby to flip by telling him/her it's like flip cup, which is mommy's favorite drinking game.
Hopefully baby gets with the program and moves into the proper position by 39 weeks. Or else baby's probably coming out via c-section before Thanksgiving. Which, nope, OMG, not even going to process that right now. Becasue OMG. Before Thanksgiving.

Like Father, Like Daughter

The closer my due date comes, I find I'm missing my dad more and more. Even though I accepted there was a chance Dad may not meet my children and that there was nothing I could do to help that, the reality of not having him here for these huge life events and even little everyday things is tough.  

But those little everyday things can also be a comfort to me. Just the other day as I was driving home from work with my windows open and the car next to me was blasting their music. I didn't want to hear whatever they were listening to but more importantly I couldn't hear NPR. So I turned up my radio to an 11 (or a 30-something. Whatever, if you don't get the reference we can't be friends). Which is the exact same thing my dad used to do when he was annoyed in the same situation.

I started to laugh and tear up at the same time. I just hope my dad was laughing up there too.

Outliers

The hospital I'm having the baby at offers free prenatal classes, so I figured, when in Rome and signed us up for a series of childbirth classes. Here are some of the things we have learned so far:

• There are stages and sub-stages of actual labor. And it can take a long time to get a baby out.
• But at least the possible long labor has a pretty sweet labor/delivery/birthing/postpartum suite.
• I'm definitely having drugs.
• Epidural babies may come out sleepy and could have a hard time latching when trying for that first feeding.* 
• Daddies will pack the hospital bag wrong, as well as the wrong picture and/or going home outfit.** So it's best to do it yourself.
• Daddies also don't listen to mommies when football or whatever huntin' and fishin' show they like is on.*
• Dr soc and I are the class outliers. We are the only ones in the class who are going to be surprised on the sex, and we also won't share the names we have picked out.
• But we're not the weirdest ones either. We certainly were not the ones who asked if we could keep the placenta and if it was possible to make a smoothie out of it.**  
• We are the snarky classmates though. While every other parent set were sharing that their favorite part of pregnancy is feeling the baby kick* and/or watching mom's body change/grow life sentimental stuff, dr soc shared that his favorite part is that we can sit at the grownup's table now since we'll have a child ourselves, and I said that my favorite part is all the snacks and people doing stuff for me all the time. It's the truth!

*Or did I learn that at the breastfeeding class I took? In that class I learned why lactation consultants can be referred to as lactation nazis. They have very strong opinions on breastfeeding and how it is the most important thing you can ever do for your baby with it's countless benefits and formula is a dead food and other than nutrients won't benefit baby at all and you are horrible.
**Wait, are these separate things? Baby only has a Christmas photo shoot outfit and no other clothes because gender neutral stuff doesn't exist, and now I need two outfits? Shit.
*We didn't find either of those sexist at all. Nope.
** Seriously someone asked that. The nurse teaching the class didn't know so she said to refer to dr google. (some cultures/religions do save it but it's not a western world practice. The making it into a smoothie though is definitely some sort of ethnocentric western world idea thing.)
*Yeah those kicks and rolls are fun and exciting and all that jazz, But sometimes those dance party/ninja warrior moves hurt and it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if baby could get off my bladder at the same time baby is stretching into my lungs. Play with one organ at a time please.

You have died of dysentery

Dr soc and I went to something called Science On the Rocks at Discovery Place a while back. It's a themed after hours event at the (expensive) children's museum with stations for activities and trivia.
Anyway, the theme was back to school which I didn't really care about, but I got really excited when I found out you could play The Oregon Trail!
But once again, my young coworkers didn't understand my excitement.
What they said when they played:* What was the big deal about having to make the choice of paying the ferry or fording to river? Why would you hunt? What the hell is dysentery and cholera and get those sick people off the wagon because they are slowing you down! This game is boring!
What I heard: Blasphemy!
I tried to explain how it was one of the greatest treats in school if you were granted computer time, but these two young things also had computers throughout school so that was lost on them as well. I just couldn't get them to the same excitement/nostalgia level as me so I had to give up or else go crazy trying.  
But! Shortly after that another coworker arrived who is closer to me in age. In lieu of a greeting as soon as I saw him I said:
me: Josh! The Oregon Trail! Yes?
Josh: Yeah! If you got a half hour of computer time first thing you did was play Oregon Trail. 
me: Oh thank god. Ok, all is right with the world again.

*I played it the other day since I was bored. Yeah, I quit about 10 minutes into it after I lost 3 of my 6 oxen trying to cross the river and kept wasting bullets shooting trees rather than deer or buffalo. When Zelda (my ringleader) came down with dysentery I said never mind. Though I was pretty bummed that it didn't live up to my nostalgia.