Series

me: I finished 50 Shades. Took me about 2 days.
mike: Ok. And you thought....?
me: Meh. It's pretty ridiculous. Never been kissed virgin to wanton sex goddess in 2 times or less? I don't think so. But whatever, it's a dirty book so I get the why behind the hype.
mike: Meh? What do you mean meh? 
me: Oh are you asking me do I hate myself for reading it like I did Twilight?
mike: yeah, I guess.
me: Oh, no. It's basically just, whatever, I read it. My life didn't change one way or the other. I may or may not read the rest of the series, I just don't care one way or the other.
mike: Didn't you read the whole twilight series though?
me: --sigh-- Yes. That's part of the reason I hate myself.

Stranger Danger

The other morning Mike and I were taking the dogs on a walk when we saw a loose little dog running around. I could see that it had a collar on and Mike had his phone with him, so we decided to try and see if we could find the owner.

However, the dog wouldn't let me come near it, and it snarled and yipped obnoxiously at me as I tried to coax it into approaching me. And also as the stupid thing kept running away from me it ran into and across the street at a time when a lot of people are leaving for work. Eventually the dog took off running into the neighborhood, towards the direction in what we hope was where it lives. Mike and I decided to not go after it since it wanted nothing to do with us, plus our dogs were starting to go nuts from just sitting there. There wasn't much we could do when the dog didn't give us anything.

We're continuing with our walk I turn around and mention to Mike that I'm really glad that when our dogs got out that they were complete trusting doofuses and ran up to a human who called us. It's a good thing for us that they don't have a stranger danger sense.

Then later that day at work someone left a few pieces of chocolate on my desk when I wasn't looking so I don't know who put them there. I probably should have been more wary of the mysterious candy and all stranger danger, but nope. They were wrapped, it was valentines day and I love chocolate, so I totally ate them anyway (and suffered no ill effects). I guess we know who the dogs got their lack of stranger danger sense from.

Reading Material

I have this habit of not being able to leave the library without bringing anything home with me. I read a variety of things and if a book seems interesting I'm willing to check it out to give try. It's great because the only thing this habit costs me is time. Usually it's a cookbook or home book I take home that I have every intention of flipping through but never have the time to actually do so. However last night these are 2 of the books that I brought home with me: 50 Shades of Grey and The World's Most Beautiful Libraries.

One book is a dirty dirty book about a controlling dominatrix, and the other is an over sized book filled with page after page of libraries so beautiful my mouth dropped in awe.  Two very different books. But at the same time two very tantalizing ones. In other words, I brought home book porn.

Grown Up Gifts

Today is my husband's 33rd birthday. So clearly, this is what I got him:

the sign says: ROAR! That's: Happy Birthday! in dinospeak

An inflatable T-Rex. Obviously.

And these are the cupcakes I sent him work with to share with his coworkers.

It was either sports or princess cupcake liners.
You can see why I chose the way I did.

He wouldn't let me decorate them with the little "score!" flags. Something about those not being professional?

Just wait and see what I have planned for 40!
Happy Birthday Honey!

Easy Math

I realized that this year would be my sister's 10 year high school reunion. Which, oy, it's surprising enough that my 10 year already happened and now my little sister's turn is up. But whatever, it reminded me of a conversation my friends had a few months before ours:

shyam: Hey, when's our reunion again?
priya: Shyam, we graduated in 2000. We don't get easier math!

I would also like to point out that both these 2 (and my sister) were in my high school's super smart magnet program and kicked ass in math.

Got it? Flaunt it

My husband put the sweetest valentine in my lunch box today! We are obnoxiously happy newlyweds and I don't care if I'm flaunting that today.

I don't. And honestly I'm a little tired of all the single bitching I see on facebook. Yes, I know Valentine's day celebrates couples, everything is covered in hearts and sweet sentiments adorn everything.  If you're single all that sap is hard to swallow. But it's one day and a boatload of chocolate goes on sale the next day. And while Valentine's Day primary focus is about romantic love, it's also about love in general.

Love for family. Love for friends. Love in the shape of two spaztastic dogs curled up for cuddles. And while I've had my fair share of single valentines days, I can honestly say I have never had a single day of being unloved.

So you know what? I'm flaunting it!

Laser Eyes

Yesterday my husband had the consultation with an eye surgeon to see if he was a good candidate for getting laser eyes*/permanent contacts. He was excited about the possibility of ending one of his longest relationships ever with contacts and glasses, while me as his wife just worried he would ruin his only pair of eyes.

He's not getting laser eyes. For several reasons:

1. the surgeon has only done this procedure 2-3 times
2. it's super expensive
3. he's not a good candidate because his corneas are too thin
4. and because of his thin corneas, he's already at a risk for detached corneas and cataracts, and getting this surgery would increases those risks.

In other words: HELL NO. Given my feelings on the possibility of the surgery alone you can guess I'm not too disappointed** by this. But I also knew how excited he was for it so I was disappointed at least a tad bit for him. The good news is thought that hubby's ok with not being able to do so too. Given his general-uber cautiousness getting a new expensive surgery that increases some already existing risks from someone whose only done it 3 times isn't quite his thing. Though he is a little bummed he won't be able to shoot lasers from his eyes.

Good things the dogs can though:

Yep

What? You don't think I would make something that awesome up do you?

*For reasons I don't remember we joked about him asking the dr about getting laser*** eyes at his regular eye appointment. He didn't but that same appointment that put the permanent contacts idea into his head. 
**I do however feel slightly vindicated about my worry though.
***I am slightly disappointed that lasers is spelled with a S and not a Z for some reason.

20/20

coworker: And he's (my husband) is pretty easy on the eyes too.
me: Yes he is, thank you. So, speaking of eyes, do you know what he wants to do to his?

My husband is very nearsighted and has worn glasses since he was 5. (He'll disagree but I think his coke bottle glasses make his little kid pictures just adorable.) He started wearing contacts in high school and he's looked into lasik, but because he is so nearsighted and his corneas are thin he's not a good candidate for it. Which bums him out because that means he has to wear contacts or glasses if he wants to see. I think he's sexy as hell in his glasses (though he disagrees with me again for some reason) and since I wear my glasses all the time this isn't a big deal to me. 

However, there's a somewhat new surgery that is like getting a permanent contact lens that he could be a good candidate for. It's an out patient thing, they put something in his eye and voila he can see! Dr soc is thrilled. And I am....not.

It's not that I don't want him to be able to see 24/7 without some sort of corrective lens, but as his wife I'm nervous. I mean, these are his only eyes! What if something happens? Plus this doesn't solve the genetic problem of both of us passing on poor eyesight to our kids, but when they are 30 and married with someone to worry about them besides their mother they can figure out their own eye surgery.

Because it's a newish surgery it may end up being cost prohibitive which solves the worry problem. But he meets with the eye surgeon today to get more details and we go from there. But still...

I Dreamed a Dream

My dream last night was so incredibly awesome that I just have to share.
I was drafted in the first round for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers as their offensive coordinator. It was a complete surprise for several reasons.

1. I was the only female selected in the entire draft.
2. The offensive coordinator is not a drafted position and once again, I was the only offensive coordinator selected.
3. I clearly have no experience in this position at all yet here I was being thrust into a high level executive position.

Anyway, I excelled at this job. Like, kicked some serious ass. So somehow I was working with my Panthers in the same executive position. And the Panthers', the entire team, adored me like I was their den mom. They treated me as a cool female cousin but yet they still all wanted to protect me and did everything I said with a "yes ma'am." I was still married to Mike and we had gotten married in the Panther's press box and all the guys were lining up to take their picture with me on that spot because they loved me that much.

Like I said, it was so incredibly awesome.