Ummm, No

A couple gems from work:

scene: A student was checking out the English Patient dvd.
me: I tried to read this, but I just didn't have the time to do so.
student: Oh? They made a book after the movie?*
me: Umm, no.

Another student a few hours later, checking out a the dvd on Lolita:

student 2: I really like Kubrick's movies. Especially Eyes wide shut. It's about a married couple and their problems. I thought it must be really true to life, marriages and their troubles. You know, because all marriages have some sort of problem.
(I decided to ignore both those quips since I am a newlywed and married life is perfect. And I also thought Eyes Wide Shut was a stupid movie )
me: I'm fairly indifferent to his work. But this book (Lolita) is really good.**
student 2: Did you read it? I think I know what it's about It's about a man and a woman, and they're like, really crazy about each other and in love, right?
me: Umm, no. No. Not at all.

*Made a book. Not wrote a book. Made.
**It is, it's a beautifully written novel. But you certainly don't go around telling people that you enjoyed a fiction book told from the perspective of a pedophile.