Monday, July 9, 2012

Depends

It's incredibly depressing to say this, but it's true. I'm never going to be completely independent.
I know it's not a first world problem, and it's a pithy thing to feel down about.  And the fact that I've never been without support (financially, emotionally) is so rare and lucky and makes me seem incredibly heedless for what I do have.
My lot in life is by no means a bad one.  I have a roof over my head, people that love me, and I even have a job.  And my job isn't bad, but it's not my ideal and it's not my career.  The random hours are pretty rough on me, and I like my coworkers and the job itself.  And the glaring fact here is that I have a job which is which is more than many people even have. And here I am lamenting over that I'm not in the career I want and how I can't wait to start graduate school to get there.  A lot of people don't get the breaks I've had in life.  And I'm whining about it.
But I'm nearly 30 years old. And I've always been taken care of. First and foremost by my parents, and now my husband. And I get a lump in my throat when I face how far I haven't come.

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