Who You Going to Tell?

You can correctly assume that if you tell me something I will tell dr soc. Just as I assume that if I tell my girlfriends something they will tell their husbands. Oh yes, we know intimate details of each other's lives. It's just the way it works. You tell me, I tell dr soc, sometimes I tell my mom and then my girlfriends. That is unless my girlfriends are the one that shared the news with me then the rest of us know and we can skip that step. (Though I think it should be noted that I very rarely tell my boyfriends everything, even the ex. Some stuff, like dirty family business, needs to stay in the family). Though the reciprocal isn't the same, if you tell the guy something. Boys are better vaults it seems. Or maybe they just don't talk?

But I also know when it's not my news to share. Like when dr soc accepted the Charlotte job and I ended up talking to his dad on the phone. His dad didn't know all of the details and I knew a little more than him, but I let dr soc talk to him since it was his news to share and get excited about.

But heaven help you if you give me happy or gossipy news, I'll want to tell so bad, even if I don't actually do so. Like my friends' baby shower and I knew her grandma was surprising her by flying in for it. I did not tell my friend her grandma was coming, but I did tell her I knew what the surprise was and that she would love it. Or my parents 10th wedding anniversary for example. My dad showed me and my sister the string of pearls (dibs! I call dibs!) he had gotten for my mom and told us "don't tell." And I didn't! I really didn't! I just kept dropping hints to my mom saying stuff like "you're gonna like it," or "it's really pretty" and "you wear it here" as I patted my collarbone (how she figured it out I'll never know). My sister on the other hand just blurted out "it's a necklace!" Dad didn't show us a present for a long time after that. But my sister an I were 5 and 2 1/2, so really, that was just a silly move on my dad's part.

Kids Say the Darnedest things

I'm at work the other night when this little boy walks up to me with his mom right behind him and politely asks me where the bathroom is.

I smile and gesture towards the family bathroom which is behind me. I tell him something along the lines of there's a family bathroom right behind me.

And then he says: "I mean, I need the men's room!"

His mother just rolled her eyes and told him to get into the bathroom that he already had the door open too, but I thought it was hilarious!

Quirky

You know how everyone has at least a few little habits that may annoy you? Nothing deal breaking, but stuff like leaving your shoes in front of the door, humming while getting ready, drumming your fingers on the counter top, just little things here and there.

I know I do a few things that annoy my darling dr soc. Like never remembering to lock the doors behind me. Or how I refuse to shop at Walmart but call Target my happy place. And he absolutely hates when I say "whatev," oh my god that drives him batty!

And yeah, he has own little quirks that are distinctly him, but none of those annoy me!

Well, that, that annoys me. So there's that.

Shiny!

Setting, dr friend and I were watching Sharktopus on Syfy (what?) and commenting how dumb some of these people are.

dr friend: Run away! Stop standing at the water's edge! Oh my god, these people are so stupid. I don't want dumb friends.
me: Agreed. If you were being eaten by a sharktopus and knew you were a goner, I'd be running the hell away and not standing there at the shoreline screaming oh my god help!

Then my friend gives me pink and purple mendi bracelets, which are sparkly and I spend the rest of the evening looking at them and giggling over how much they delight me.

See! Clinky! Delight!

dr friend (to her husband): I thought I just said I didn't want dumb friends.
me: hey, you're the one who gave me pretty sparkly noisy bracelets. You know I have shiny object syndrome. You brought this upon yourself.

Practical Present

I have vetoed practical gifts for the moment since I find them unromantic. And I still want fun presents that make me go squee!

However, there is one notable exception:
Dr soc bought me a house!

Because what's more practical of having a place to live? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Ok, not really, he didn't buy me a house. He bought himself one and I'm just going to live there. (and eventually help pay the mortgage too)

But still. House! Squeeeee!

Things I Still Don't Understand:

These shoes:

Are they a flip flop? A boot? Is she trying to hide her cankles? I just don't get them.

• The full face of makeup and done hair, and then a sweatsuit look.
• How the bump-it got to be an everyday hairstyle. Yeah i love big hair for the red carpet and evenings out. But to a 9 am class? (Really I'm just jealous because my hair is Asian hair and won't hold curl or body for more that 10 seconds so I'll never be able to achieve this look regardless)
• Physics
• That's it September, officially fall and 90 'effing degrees.
• Why my mom doesn't like pumpkin food unless it's pie form.
• How anyone likes pumpkin pie in the first place.
• Why dr soc won't let me have a pink bathroom. It's not like I want a bedroom or the loft to be pink. Yet.

There's a Reason You Failed 7th Grade

This was a conversation I had with a tween at work once.

tween: I hate chinese people
me: I'm half chinese.
tween: oh.
me: Hows that foot taste?
tw: I don't eat feet! Well, I don't hate all chineese people. Just this one chinese girl in my class. ::pause:: She failed me.
me: Wait, so you don't like your teacher?
tw: Yeah. She said I didn't have the accent.
me: For what class?
tw: Chinese.
me: That's because the entire language is the inflection. An accent can one word make 3 completely different words. You have to get the accent to speak the language.
tw: Yeah, well, she didn't have to fail me...
me: did you even try?
tw: uuuuh
me: So, you hate all Chinese people because your chinese teacher who teaches her language failed you for not doing your work?
tw: umm, yeah?
me: Ai-ya!

I have the bad dog. For real this time

When I got home from class yesterday, there was something hanging on the door. It was a citation from animal control due to Bailey. When my father was walking her in the afternoon, she jumped on someone and mouthed someone's arm. The citation didn't say she bit, but still, not good at all. Whoever this neighbor was, they called animal control and hence the citation. Which I don't blame them for, I would do the same if it wasn't my dog. Essentially, the citation said even though the dog was leashed, we didn't have control over her.

The problem, amongst other things such as having an aggressive dog, (and paying a fee), is that my dad can't and never has had control over Bailey. With his coordination and reaction time worse then ever, he'll never be able to do so now. So now, I can't let him take her for walks, which was about the only exercise my dad has been getting. Not to mention a huge help for me in between trying to graduate and working. We've already limited his driving and I don't want to keep taking away things from him. But this... I don't blame him entirely though, she's strong and stubborn. Even though I'm more two and a half times her weight, she can still pull me down the street if I'm not paying attention. But this can not happen again.

I don't want to hear I told you so. I know my dog is bad. I know there are bad habits I let slide and now have to take care of. I know there are no problem dogs, only problem owners. I have to be the one to take responsibility for her actions. I have to train her and my family so we're all on the same page. I'll just add that to the list of crap that was on the back burner to now high on the front burner.

But, well, shit. This just blows.

Payback - Font Style

I love having snarky friends.

M: A consultant of mine emails exclusively in italicized comic sans…fail.

Now imagine full sentences of that font talking about concrete. I’ve never met him face to face. Maybe he’s being ironic or maybe he just hates me.

J: Excellent. You should reply back in Chiller or Papyrus.

M: I was thinking responding in 30-48pt font

me: in all caps becasue you are then SHOUTING AT HIM

J: What about 4 pt font? <--what about 4 pt font?

M2: There's always yellow.

Long Distance

In my dating past, I have a few distance relationships (or had a portion that was distance). The distance always had reason to explain it (co-op, different schools, moved home to a rent free place while someone else finished their associates) and eventually they all ran their course. Bonus there was that when we did go our separate ways I didn't have to see the other person around. (I'm a firm believer in leaving the scene of the crime after a break up. Unless there is a reason to stay in touch, like you have children together, wash your hands and be done).

My ex and I were distance for a while, before we got engaged. He didn't take it well to say the least. Whenever he got sulky (which was often) and jealous (also often) his excuse was always he'd never done distance before so he didn't know how to deal with it. But I was afraid to rock the realtionship boat and cajoled his hurt ego, told him everything would be ok, moved back 3 months earlier then I intended and pushed for the engagement to pacify myself. Instead telling him to suck it up and 75 ran 2 ways. (A year after that I got my spine back, phew.)

Now as you faithful readers know, I'm currently in a distance relationship with dr soc. Obviously, I'm less than thrilled about it, but it's temporary. But this time around, I'm the whiny one wishing he was here or I was there, or we were at least in the same zip code. To add to the stress of the situation, he's trying to buy a house with me in mind and that's not exactly a sunshine and unicorns process when it's 2 different opinions. And if we wanted to get into a pissing war, he wins because I'm in a city I know with a social circle, and he doesn't really know Charlotte or anyone else there for the moment. So I'm being a whiny pants about this. And I know this, so I'm just trying to balance everything (lots going on over here with school and family and life, you know) and telling myself to suck it up.

Single Ladies

My second cousin is getting married and we received the save the date in the mail. We're not in touch so I had no idea she was even seeing anyone, let alone engaged. But I'm happy for her and her parents (my mother's cousin). The save the date is addressed to Mr and Mrs my parents and Sara (don't get me started how much it annoys me when people misspell my name). My sister and her husband got their own save the date. Like grown ups.

Sigh. I think I can say I've never felt more unmarried than right then.

And no, I am not going to assume I can bring dr soc nor will I even ask if I can. I'm not going to be that asshole who brings a date when not invited with one (does the invite say "and guest?" No? Then just you buttercup), and I'm also not on comfortable enough terms with the bride to ask if I can bring a date. Like I said, I haven't been in touch and the only reason I'm invited is because I'm family. I may not even be able to go either, so this could be a moot point. But still, little ouch.

Kinda Like T-Rex

So dr soc has another nickname:
Socasauraus! It's like stegosaurus, only it's soc for sociology! Heeheeheehee.
(oh btw, the soc part of his blog/nickname is short for sociology, so I've always pronounced/thought of it in my head as soc as in social and not dr sock)

My sister was in town for a few days and she said that dr soc needed a nickname (besides dr soc). And with him being a sociologist and liking dinosaurs (which didn't surprise my friends at all), the name sorta popped into our heads at the same time.

Now we just have to figure out how to spell it. Because it sounds the best as a 4 syllable work (soc-a-saur-aus) but spelling wise, it's hard to get that soft c without adding something behind it. And all of these look or sound wrong:

• sociasaurus
• sociosaraus
• socosaraus

And the reason we had to figure out how to spell it is because I referred to him by his new nickname in a text message. We both looked at it typed out and then wondered if that was the correct spelling. And when we were talking about it that night in our nightly phone call, we ended up debating back and forth for a few minutes on what was the proper spelling of his new nickname (which he likes btw). Halfway through the should there be an i or o debate I realize: oh wow, this is pretty dorky.

And eventually we figured socasaurus it is. So, rawr!

The Wheels on the Bus Can Kiss My Ass

I've got a bone to pick with the city bus starting back in the summer. Actually, this could go back all the way to last summer, but I'll get to that.

First, this summer, I realized after waiting 50 minutes that they only run the bus I take once an hour during a certain time frame. So if you miss it, you have to wait an hour for it to come by. Which is bad if you have to get somewhere because you're screwed otherwise. And also this is bad when I need lunch because we know how cranky I get when I don't eat.

Second, the first day of class, the driver of my bus got me to my second stop late making me late for class. And then later that day, the one that only runs once an hour didn't stop at all at the stop I was at, even though myself and another student were waving them down. And that there were multiple people at the stop. And every other bus that had come by in the last half hour had stopped or at least honked to get people's attention. Mine just ignored us. Stabby ensued.

And third: yesterday I was waiting for the bus at the bus stop, and the driver barely stopped. He slammed on his breaks because he didn't see me sitting on the bench at the bus stop. And when I hop on and show him my pass, he tells me next time I need to stand so he can see me. How about you do your job and look at the mother fcking bus stop?

I'm starting to think it may be the drivers of this route though. Last spring there was one driver I liked a lot because he made sure he got me to the right stop in time to catch the campus bus, waited for me to cross the street so I could catch the bus home once, and also honked to get my attention when I dropped my wallet (that was later stolen and returned). No such luck this semester.

And back to last summer. The route was changed during the reconstruction of Limestone Street, so I had to get off a (huge) block earlier and then walk to class. Meanwhile, the other pithy college kids who cluster together in those apartments that are really just glorified dorms, they still get a campus bus that gets to drive on Limestone and takes them all the way to campus.

Never mind that I only get one bus that runs once an hour or any of those who actually need the bus and rely on it. But a they'll give a bunch of spoiled college kids multiple buses ever 10 minutes to take them from one end of campus to another because they are too lazy to walk. Ok, campus is huge and walking a few extra miles isn't as easy for some as it is for me.

But still bus system, how about we shape up?

Timing

It took dr soc almost 2 weeks after we started talking to ask me out. And I was getting mighty impatient too.

The time of year had a lot to do with it though. We started talking a few days before valentines day. Yeah, light bulb of recognition just went off of you too right? So, not the most ideal time to ask someone for a first date. No pressure or anything right? So that was fine, and I didn't want that much pressure on a first date either. I figured/hoped he would ask me out after that. But avast, his birthday is 5 days after valentines day. Not to mention it was the big 3-0 last year, and once again, not the best time to ask someone for a first date.

And while the timing is perfectly, reasonably, and chronological acceptable, I was still wondering if he was ever going to ask me out the whole time we're exchanging emails and getting to know each other through a computer screen. The longer communication* process ended up working out for the best though (obviously), because he said those emails are what got him interested in me (score!). There is the argument that I could have asked him out, which he pointed out to me as well, but I just laughed at that. But I won't deny I was getting restless because I really wanted to meet this guy as we bantered back and forth. I understood the timing, but I was thinking he better ask me out soon after that birthday.

Which he did. The day or 2 after it actually. We had our first date later that week (on a weeknight which miffed my friend to no end but it's safe to say it worked out), and the rest is history.

* since both of our memberships to eharmony have expired (having served it's purpose of getting us a significant other we both felt no need to extend the service, aka: pony up more money), neither one of us can access any of our previous cutesy communications. Which is sad, because now our email courtship is forever** lost to the interwebs.

** unless it is a free communication weekend. I guess since everyone (ie: non-paying members) can talk to everyone and anyone, they allow those they've already done their job for (ie: those of us who paid and got what they did/did not want) to access to their cutesy communication stuff.

Babysitting

This family comes into work the other night with 5 kids, all of them under the age of 6. Two of these kids are dressed in identical outfits and the same age, so we assume they are twins (either actual or of the Irish variety). The mom's got her hands full with the twins and another kid, while the dad is trying to keep an eye on the rest of the brood. Apparently, he's failing. Because at some point, he hisses to the mom in frustration:

"I can't watch 2 at the same time!"

She didn't say 2 words to him. But the look on her face was probably similar to the look you have on your face right now. Only about 1000 times more pissed off.

90210

LB: It's 90210 day
me: do any of us watch that show besides lb?
LB: I don't watch it. I didn't even watch the old one.
me: (internally) huh?

-- 3 hours later--

me: Oh! Um, I just now got why it's 90210 day.
LB: Oh good. For a minute there I thought you thought I really cared about the show.
me: I did! which was why I was so confused when you said you didn't watch it.

No Boy Scouts

Dr soc and I were watching "I Shouldn't Be Alive" one night, and the story was about a boyscout troop that had gotten lost in the Grand Canyon. Three of the teens had separated from the troop to find help but they were suffering from severe dehydration and sunburn and were in grave danger of heat stroke. I noticed only two of the three real life shouldn't be alive interviewees were being interviewed, and thought that maybe one of the boys didn't make it. My suspicions were confirmed a few minutes later in the show when one of the boys succumbed to severe heat stroke even after medical attention was given.

This made us understandably sad, and the thought that this could happen to anyone's kids, especially mine, made me scared. But I need to lighten the air so I say to dr soc:

me: the kids are not going to be boy scouts.
dr soc: agreed.
me: besides, if they are boy scouts, at some point one of us would have to, ugh, camp with them.
dr soc: ugh. I definitely agree.

--a few minutes later--

me: oh another reason the kids can't be boy scouts: scout moms hate me.