Father's day

Today will be the hardest father's day for me. Next year I will tell my baby what a wonderful grandpa they had, but this year I am just going to miss my daddy.

I will tell them: 

How he could always comfort me.

I guess 80's babies were allowed to sleep on their stomachs...

How he was always willing to help and had the biggest sweet tooth.

Making one of our birthday cakes (both of our birthdays are in July)

How supportive he was and how we had so much fun.

Swings, roller coasters and building sand castles, dad had our back

 And that he always listened to me chatter on.

And on... (I'm sure he tuned me out at some point, but you can't blame him)

He was so proud of and loved both his girls so much

Even if his signature look was just shaking his head at our teenage girl antics

But most of all, I will tell them how much I will always love him, and how much I know he loves them. 

CHEESE!

So next year as we're wishing dr soc a happy fathers day, I will also tell them that before mommy was a mommy, she is and always will be my daddy's girl.

I love you daddy. Happy Father's day.

Grief

Friday morning June 5 2015 I lost my daddy.
I don't have anything poignant to say. I miss him so much and my heart is aching in a way I never knew possible. And though I knew this would be the end result, it didn't make the actual event any easier to handle and the truth is you will never be ready to loose a parent. 
As his end drew close I didn't know if I would be strong enough to be there. But when it was time, holding his hand with my mom, telling him how much I love him and that everything would be ok, it was the only place in the world I was going to be.
I'm devastated my father is no longer physically on this earth with us. But I am happy he's at peace. I'm relieved my family's struggle with this disease is over. And I know he'll always be with me, and I take comfort knowing he was always loved and that he loved us.

Feel better

I've heard that morning sickness/nausea is a good sign of a healthy pregnancy.
At least that's what I told my friends who were suffering through pregnancy nausea. Yeah. Now that I've dealt with it, (and fingers crossed -god please fingers crossed! DONE with it) I'm pretty that's just something people say to make you "feel better."
Ugh.

Bad Dog

Dr soc told me he was going for a jog this morning before my doctor's appointment while I was still in bed sleeping in a little bit (omg with the pregnancy tired). Shortly after that I heard a rustling/crinkling noise coming from downstairs, but my concept of time was so off I just assumed he hadn't left yet and was making a lot of noise in the kitchen for some reason. Turns out, it was not dr soc, it was Jules.

That little dog went into my purse, ignored the peanut butter crackers and ate about a 1/4-1/2 cup of salted almonds. I called the vet and she'll be fine, but damit dog those almonds were my best pregnancy snack! Then Mike noticed a paw print on the couch table, and he said he had thrown a different wrapper in the trash yesterday but he didn't know what it was from. Upon closer inspection of the destroyed bag and crumbs, I realized she had eaten a huge peanut butter cookie. Probably about the same time Mike was mowing the lawn and I wasn't home from work yet.  

That little bitch figured out when her free range time. Yeah, we're not leaving her unattended anymore...

Grown Up

There are several signs that point to being a grown up. Some of the ones I have experienced are:

• I am willing to pay for convenience rather than find the cheapest option possible.
• I have nice cookware and know how to use all my kitchen appliances.  
• Guests stay in my guest room with a real bed and don't crash on the couch anymore. 
• Eleven o'clock is when I want to be home from a night out, not when I start my night out.     
• I will leave a place when it is "too loud."
• My grocery list consists of real food and is not entirely made up of cheap wine.
• I prefer to be addressed as ma'am. 
• I have no idea who is "singing" on the radio, and I'm not going to bother to find out either.
• I have my 20-something coworkers explain slag terms and current social media to me. 

But I think the biggest grown up significance of being a grown up is:
When I tell people I'm going to have a baby around Thanksgiving (yep!) the response is: Congratulations!

Culture Class

A coworker and I were discussing a sushi restaurant in town. She loves it, but I have issues with it.

me: that place is too loud. You have to yell to have any sort of conversation there.
m: yeah, but at least the sushi is so good and cheap.
me: not enough for me for that noise level.
m: everyone's yelling there, patrons to patrons, staff to staff, it's fun. Don't you love getting yelled at in another language?
me: Yeah, no. Here's where we differ. Because whenever I get yelled at in Chinese that means I'm in trouble.