I Curse You

My daughter is not good at waking up. She's groggy and fussy and usually a little hangry when she does. Any one of those isn't a preferable state for anyone, but a combo, in a 2.5 year old none the less, just sucks. When she was a baby the post sleep fussiness could usually be soothed with some snuggles and a snack of sorts. But now that she's a full blown toddler and can talk (a lot. My kid talks A LOT)... That groggy/fussy/hangry combo is incessant whining and an overall miserable disposition.

It doesn't matter what it is, where we are, or what we are doing, she is having none of it. Wake up in the morning and it starts with not wanting to get dressed. But she also wants clothes and out of jammies (if she still has them on). But no getting dressed. Yes dressed. Doesn't want to pick them out. But not what mommy picks out. She needs to pick them out. But she doesn't want to. Not mommy. Her. Not her. Not mommy. At some point I force clothes someone selected through kicks and tears and then battle again a few moments later with breakfast/shoes/going to the baby sitters/whatever the day entails all over again. It's gas-lighting at it's finest.

Recently I've been trying to take her out on my own and expand her world more. And I really want to enjoy these times with my darling girl, especially since we only have about 2-3 more weeks left of her being an only child. But god she can make that really hard. Because when we go on these mommy and me adventures, we typically have some sort of drive to the said adventure (suburbia, for all it's niceties severely lacks in walk-able and public transport accessible adventures). So she tends to fall asleep in the car, so when we get to the adventure she was so excited for...she is miserable and bloody hates it. 

Seriously, whatever it is. This girl will throw a fit. And want nothing to do with this and everything to do with this simultaneously and express that sentiment several times over with def-con 10 whining. It doesn't matter if it was a fleet of unicorns with ice cream covered in chocolate sauce and sprinkles in a bounce castle in Disney World. With a puppy because why the fuck not. It's a NO.

So I curse you car seat nap. Curse you with the fire of a 1000 suns and may the flames of hell consume you. You turn my darling girl into a total jerk which brings her waddling pregnant mommy to tears. Curse you.

Old Wives Tales 2.0

We're waiting until Little Lion (or Crab depending when they are born*) to find out the sex of this baby. But just like their big sister, we have to rely on the old wives tales and speculate again.
*please just stay in until mommy's birthday kiddo!

Here are the 2018 old wives tales:

1. Sleep position: Sleep on my right side = girl, Sleep on my left side = boy
• I guess my right side more, because my back arches weirdly when on my left side. And once I'm on a side it's too much effort to roll over. But I'm actually most comfortable on my back. Girl
2. Nausea: Sick as a dog = girl. Happy no nausea preggo? = boy
• Remember my Long Jacket blog? Yeah. I was still sick the first trimester but it was a  different sick than my first pregnancy. That one I would puke at dinner time without fail, but this one was far less puking. (yay!) However overall I had a gross cloud of nausea all the time. Girl
3. Food cravings: sweet cravings and citrus = girl. Salty cravings = boy 
• Salt. OMG the salt. I'll still have a sweet tooth, and I like my orange juice in the morning and lemonade all the time. But for a while there I wanted nothing but chips and I may or may not have contemplated pouring the salt shaker directly into my mouth a few times. Boy
4. Food again: If you crave meat it's a boy. If you'd rather not: girl.
• Little Turkey I had a big meat aversion so no deli meat and soft cheese was no big deal. This pregnancy: I have never wanted that turkey sandwich I'm not allowed to have more. (still no love for soft cheese though) And hot dogs? Yes please (just nuke the hell out of them (or "forget" that guideline like I did because dammit I'm growing a human and I will eat what I want) Boy   
5. Soft or dry skin: soft = girl, dry = boy
• Dry. Dry, dry dry. I swear this kid is sucking all the moisture out of me now mater how much water I drink. Boy
6. Girls steel your beauty, boys enhance 
• I'm breaking out more than usual, but I actually put on makeup for a while there. And I've been told I'm "absolutely glowing" on several occasions. So I say boy because people tell me I'm pretty.  
7. Graceful swan= girl. Clumsy = boy
• Bending is highly overrated. Boy
8. A fuller full face = girl. Normal face = boy
• A little fuller but not like a puffer fish fuller. I've had mostly a normal face.  Boy
• I may have just asked my coworkers this for clarification and they all said "uuuh...normal?" So there may be some bull shit in there but I'm taking it.  
9. Moody? = girl. Even keel = boy
• Would it be considered moody if you don't give any fucks? Yeah when there are feels I have all of the feels. But mostly I've just given zero fucks for almost everything. Boy 
10. How I carry the belly: high = girl, low = boy
• Right right in the middle again. Neutral 
11. How I carry the belly "sports" edition: cute round basketball shape belly = boy. Not as cute wider pointier football shape belly = girl 
• Adorable basketball belly. Boy
12. Weight gain in the front = boy, weight gain that spread out = girl 
• I don't have ankles anymore. My wedding bands came off the first trimester. And my little sister's maternity pants are snug because I will always be taller and older. Girl. 
13. Conception age and the year are both even or odd = girl. An even/odd combination = boy
• I became pregnant at 35 in the year 2017. So two odds combo is a Girl
14. Heartbeat: 140+ = girl 140- = boy
• Most heartbeat readings have been less than 140.  Boy
15. Mommy's dreams: whatever you dream you're having-that's it.
• Somewhere in my nightly bat-shit crazy dreams I dreamed boy. Boy

So in the girl column we have: 4
And in the boy column we have: 10
And neutral for shits and giggles : 1

So...guess we'll see soon enough no matter what!