Going Postal

We don't have a peephole at the back door at work. So whenever someone knocks we ask "who is it?" so not to open the door to a mass murderer or super creepster. While this method is not completely flawless, it works for the most part. (and there's always the option of looking out the window as a fail safe)
Anyway, when the mailman delivers the mail every morning, he knocks on the back door and answers the "who goes there?" question with a cheerful "mailman!" Because I love getting mail* and that the mailman is cheerful, I like to match his enthusiasm with a "yay! and/or thank you!" when I'm the one who opens the door.

Anyway, the mailman is at the very least amused by my reaction and always smiles. One day after our typical exchange, my boss asked me why I did that. I don't really remember the why and how it all started, but I figured I would keep it up. That way, if the postman happened to go postal and started taking people out, my hopes are that he'll remember that "nice girl from the library who was always happy to see him," and thus spare me. My boss thought that was stupid, but she's going to feel mighty foolish if my plan works.

*Just fun mail though. Junk, bills, and tree wasting catalogs I will forgo. But stuff like cards, packages, coupons and glossy magazines I love getting. And we get a ton of fun mail at work.

Let There Be Light

One night I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. As a fairly heavy sleeper, I knew that even in a sleep fog if I was waking up in the middle of the night I must really have to go and better get to it. So I did and returned to bed like you do. But as I was climbing back into bed dr soc stirred and was slightly confused to find me getting back into bed since me getting up in the middle of the night is a rarity in the first place.

--Note: this entire conversation occurred with us both in half-sleep-mode and was done with sleepy slurs and hazy logic in it's entirety--


dr soc: did you just go to the bathroom?
me: Yeah. Go back to sleep honey.
dr soc: Ok. Wait..did you turn on the light?
me: No. Turning on the light can wake you up more and I want to go back to sleep.
dr soc: Oh ok. ~pause~ You can go to the bathroom without a light? How?
me: I don't have to aim honey.
dr soc: Oh. Right. Goodnight.
 --A while later.--
We had gotten back from the gym or were getting ready in the morning or something that required a shower. I flipped on the shower light, turned on the water and Mike put our towels on the hook while we waited for the water to warm up to the (my) preferred scalding temperature.
mike: I turned off the shower light.
me: Why? I like the shower light.
mike: You do? What exactly do you do in the shower that you need light for? Do you need it to aim or something?
me: No...But I do need it if I'm shaving.  Or something.
mike: Ok, but are you going to shave this shower? 
me: I don't think so, but I still like the light.
--Mike gives me a look--
me: So I can pee the dark but not shower in it. Okay maybe that's a little weird but so what?
mike: Nothing.... Would you like me to turn the light back on then?
me: Yes. Yes I would.
mike: Ok. ~flips the light back on, smiling~ You weirdo.
me: Thank you. And yes, yes I am.
 --We went on vacation last week and we were checking out the bathroom of the rental house--
mike: Oh, and you will be happy to know there is a shower light in our bathroom. A very bright one too.
me: Yes!

Synonyms

On our anniversary Mike and I went to the Cheesecake Factory for dessert and sat at an outside table since it was a nice night. The patio was quieter than the restaurant so we could have a conversation with each other without shouting, and we could also hear the pop music playing through their sound system. Which is what a decent chunk of our conversation was about, the music. We would hear a song, reminisce about the last time we heard it or what it reminds us of, wonder whatever happened to the artist, yadda yadda yadda.

Anyway, a song by Seal comes on and Mike posed this question:
mike: What's Seal's real name anyway? Otter??
me: hahahahaha!