Why everything should be pink

peanut butter w/a touch of crack

2012-02-13T12:31:00.000-05:00

When Bailey was a puppy, I had to learn how to give her lots of pills in a short amount of time, what with her parvo and knee surgeries an all (see: million dollar dog. see also: why I'll never want another puppy*).

With the parvo, hiding the pills in her food didn't work, so she took her pills in the pill pockets the vet gave us for a while. However, those pill pockets ran out but the pills didn't. And those pill pockets aren't exactly pocketbook friendly either, so I wasn't chomping at the bit to buy her a whole lot more of them (not to mention that someone said they would pick some up from the vet and then someone never did). And then when the knee surgery, she was taking 10-12 pills a day. No way was going to buy a new bag of pill pockets every few days, especially after a $1000+ surgery alone.(though, I would imagine that part of the $1000 included the morphine drip. Which, I know made her comfortable when she was alone, so it was worth every penny) So I learned the quickest, most efficient way to give Bailey pills is to literally, shove them down her throat. It wasn't exactly the nicest way, and yes she ran aways from me the second she swallowed, but she got her meds. (and forgot about in 2 minutes time and was cuddling right back up to me). I just figured that this was the way Bailey would take pills from now on.

Until I met dr soc. He gave Jules her allergy pills and any other medication via crunchy peanut butter. And peanut butter, is crack to dogs. Bloody 'effing brilliant if you ask me. One day I tried it with Bailey, which, OHMYGOD a billion times easier. She snarfed it down, licked her chops and wagged her tail in hopes for more. Now, lesson learned, Bailster always gets her pills** with a healthy side of doggie crack!

* No honey. No puppy. I don't care how much sharktopus and dinocroc say i want one. they are liers***.
**With pills it's ok to take with food that is. empty stomach pills go down the old fashioned way
***Yes, I just called my future children liers. Don't judge me.

Rude?

2012-02-12T11:11:00.000-05:00

I'm at the alterer for my second fitting (squee!), and it happened to be a busy day for them. So I'm standing there, in my dress like you do, while my seamstress is pinning and measuring and color coding the bustle (heads up bridal posse: it's a 5(!) point bustle), and another, older, lady walks in the shop carrying some white undershirts. She heads directly towards my seamstress, who is on her knees, pinning and measuring and color coding my bustle to talk to her.

The older lady first apologizes to me for interrupting and attempts to smooth over some things by telling me I look beautiful (which, yes, I do, but that's not the point right now). The older lady's husband is waiting in the car for her and that's why she can't wait for her (my) seamstress to be done with my fitting. She needs the neckline changed in the undershirts she's carrying for her husband who's waiting in the car asap since he just had a something-ectomy in his throat, so the crew neckline irritates him.

Which, I get that she's on a bit of a time crunch. And I have some time so I'm not rushed at the moment. But then the older lady keeps discussing the neckline, about what she needs, and how she needs it soon, all while my seamstress is still on her knees at my hem with my gown in her hands. My seamstress has to stop what she was doing to feel the shirt, explain something, and then finally send her back to the front desk to schedule the pick up time. Then she can get back to the bustle of my dress which takes another 15-20 minutes to figure out, uninterrupted.

I know that my wedding is not the center of anyone else's universe except mine (somewhat dr soc's but I think we know it's overall more my thing), and she did tell me I was beautiful which is the quickest ways to break down my defenses. But it still felt a little rude to just barge into my appointment time. My seamstress was clearly working with a bride (we don't just stand around randomly in our dresses (do we? I don't)), in the middle of something. And it wasn't like there weren't other people there who could help her either, she had to have my seamstress. While I have just as much a claim to these ladies' time as anyone else, and everything got done for me in a timely manner, it still just felt a little rude.

Woman of a Certain Age

2012-02-07T19:39:00.001-05:00

coworker: Hey, how you doing?
me: Ehh. I'm actually not feeling all that great right now, I woke up a little nauseous.
coworker: Oh I'm sorry. You know, there's a flu bug that's going around. Did you get your flu shot at least?
me: Yeah, I did back in October. But thanks.
--beat--
me: And by the way, thank you for thinking flu and not pregnant when I said nauseous.

When you are a woman of "baby making age," quite often the first place most people jump to when you say nausea, is pregnant. And heaven forbid if you say you have a craving for something! I have cravings all the time, but it's usually because I'm lacking a certain nutrient, not because I'm in the family way. Though I admit, if I ever start to crave pickles, even I would assume!

Arbor Day

2012-02-06T12:50:00.000-05:00

me: You really hope someone gets us that banana tree from our registry don't you?
mike: The wooden one? Yeah, it's like a real tree!

So, on that note, I hope someone gets us that!

Betrayed

2012-02-05T16:39:00.000-05:00

The first time Mike made me dinner we had sweet potatoes, and so he put the giant tub of butter on the table just in case I wanted some. Since he was a single man at the time (though, he wasn't for much longer after that date, but that's neither here nor there) I found the proportion of one guy and a giant tub of butter pretty funny. But I had to know why, so I asked. His response was along the lines of: that's just how we do things.
Growing up, his family always kept the family sized tub of spread, and like a lot of things, it just carried over into his adult life. His parents have the giant tub, his brother has the giant tub, so he has the giant tub. I learned it was one of his things and I did what any girlfriend does: mocked. Then eventually planned to phase this out after I moved in.

However, he goes through the little tubs pretty fast. I started seeing the economical side of the giant tub. True, it takes up a lot of space in the fridge, but it is a lot cheaper to buy one giant one over the course of 3 months than 6 little ones. And one Sunday, we go grocery shopping together, and I tell him we need tub butter (real butter, the stuff in sticks, is simply referred to as butter in my house). He gives me this hopeful look, and I buckled. And so now we always have the giant tub in the fridge.

A few weeks after the butter acquisition, we went up to visit his parents along with his brother and sister-in-law. We're having breakfast, and Mike is searching for the spread for his toast with no avail. He asks his mom where it is, and she tells him it's the small tub in the door.

Mike is shell shocked to say the least. How could this be? They've always had the giant tub of butter. it's how they do things! And then his sister-in-law pipes in that they switched too, they now use the spray stuff. Crestfallen, Mike cries out: "I just got her (me) on the giant tub train!"

Poor Mike, he felt a little betrayed. Though, I probably wasn't helping much by cackling from my chair was I?

Romeo and Juliet

2012-02-04T14:55:00.025-05:00

I was looking for ideas for some ceremony music. We're not going to do any of that stupid bridal party shaking it down the aisle that seems to be so popular on you tube. For so, so many reasons, some of them being that this is my wedding and not a frat party, I'm so over the auto-tuning thing, and nowhere does someone with a name like T-pain belong at a wedding in general.

So I think it's no surprise that we're opting to go the traditional route and looking at classic pieces. The only song that I don't care to be played is the Wedding March by Wagner. Mainly because when I hear it, I start to sing "here comes the bride, all fat and wide!" in my head, which, no. And also, when I hear it played on a on a horn, my mind jumps to the fanfare played at the start of a horse race and want to excitedly scream "and they're off!" while jumping up and down, which, also, no. (well, not for the wedding at least. This is perfectly acceptable at an actual horse racing event.)

So I searched for a few of the alternatives pieces, and one the knot suggested tunes is the love theme from the ballet Romeo and Juliet by Tchaikovsky. It is quite pretty, and it does have a very classic feel to it. And honestly, if I just heard it without any prior knowledge of what it was from I might even say sure. But it's Romeo and Juliet. And the thought of having Romeo and Juliet as a part of my wedding music seems...no.

Yes I know it's supposed to be one of the most romantic stories of all times, but really, not so much. When you break it down as such, it's just 2 horny teenagers (though, "horny teen" is a bit redundant), who kill themselves over because ohmygod they can't be together. So I remember reading the play in high school like you do in freshman english. And while most of the girls are swooning over the romantics of it all, I thought: really? She killed herself over a boy she's known for what, a week? God, what a waste!

good mom bad mom

2012-02-01T15:56:00.000-05:00

I am a good pet momma because I took Bailey to the vet to have her paw looked at when I noticed a blister-like thing on it.
I am a bad pet momma because I post pictures like this:

Cone of Shame!

Simply because it makes me laugh.
No idea what the blister thing is since it was too inflamed for the vet to look at. She's on some meds to control it and we'll revisit it in 2 weeks. Until then:

I do not like the cone of shame.
And I do NOT appreciate you suddenly becoming a photographer either momma

Sorry Bailster!

X-ref

2012-01-31T21:16:00.000-05:00

The wedding spreadsheet is named "bubble of tulle" and it contains most thing bubble of tulle related. It's a biiiiig spreadsheet. But I also have several other documents on the computer, of addresses and who's invited to what lists. To which I say, thank god for copy and paste.

But here and there, new things trickle in. A changed address, a noticed misspelling, an invite you don't want to send but know you have to*, ect... So, then I have to change something. But then once I change something on the master list, that means I have to find and change the other 14 places that I have the information on, so as not to be confused about anything.

Now, there's this handy thing in autocad called an x-ref. And basically, it's the master drawing and you change anything on it, it updates all the other drawings that are layered on top of it. It's pretty awesome and frankly it spoiled me because I know such things are possible.

Because what I really really want, as I'm hunting for those 14 different places I've got the same info on, is an x-ref for wedding stuff.

*I also would like an "undesirable" table. Besides being banished from all the cool tables, they also must sit furthest from the head table and the bar.

Jersey

2012-01-29T12:20:00.005-05:00

The other night I was way too tired to cook, so we ordered carryout from a little italian place down the street from us. I went with fettechini alfredo, which is a weakness of mine. I can't say I have a favorite food in general, but I'm always willing to give a fettechini alfredo a shot at a new place. This place's was pretty good, but also really heavy like a good proper fettechini alfredo should be what with the heavy cream and pound of butter that's in it and all.

After dinner the dryer buzzed, so we head upstairs to fold it (if I don't fold the laundry within 10 minutes of taking it out of the dryer, I don't fold the laundry). And for reasons I don't know/remember, Mike makes a jersey shore reference and starts to make up his own version of a jersey shore* dance. However, yours truly didn't think his version was as slutty or idiotic enough for it to be a true jersey shore dance. So I decide to show him my take on it, thrashing around like they do in the clips I see on The Soup.**

Then, having thoroughly shaken myself and my stomach content around like an idiot, I realize, quite quickly I might add, that was not my best idea. Much like Jersey shore in general is.

*This is an extremely rare case of pop culture where Mike knows more about it than me.** By that I mean he just knows knows the names of the ompaloompas on the show, where as I just call them ompaloompahs. Other than that, we know nothing further.
** This is the furthest extent that I watch any of Jersey Shore
*** I don't know if I should be proud of him for this or slightly ashamed.

Alternatives

2012-01-28T12:22:00.001-05:00

We're the first couple to get married at our venue, so the place/staff pretty much has no idea what we can and cannot do. For example: most places don't allow confetti, rice, bird seed, flower petals, ect, to be tossed at the couple because it is a pain in the ass to clean up. However, at my venue, totally ok to do so (because they have no idea).
When I asked if we could have a unity candle in the ceremony (more on that in a second), they also said that was alright. As long as we have the fire martial present. Which, what? Three lit candles total, burning for a half hour in a room with 150 people to keep an eye on it, and I have to have a fire martial? But we can have those same 150 people each throw a handful of rice at us, create a big ol' mess and that's ok?

Anyway, rather than make a fuss about it, I just figure we can do something else in lui of the unity candle. So I google* unity candle alternatives, and here are some alternatives:

Sand. (Mike's brother did this at his wedding. It was nice)
Water (Colored water, white dress, my penchant for splashing....not so much)
Knot tying (3 ropes: bride, groom, and god. Fine for some couples, but definitely not us.)
Foot washing. (my uncle and his wife did this. It's as awkward and weird as that sounds)

But the one that just took the cake for us was:

Painting. Two canvases, side by side, and the moms place brushes up there. The bride and groom then each squiggle some abstract artistic line across the seam, spanning both canvases. So that, if separated, the abstract canvases look silly, but when joined together, create a unified, symbolic, and unique piece. Uh huh.

Now, as I'm reading this idea to Mike, we are both just ~~laughing~~ groaning at the cheese factor and the clicheness of it all. It's a unique** enough take on the idea, but it's campy as hell.***

Now with an influx if alternatives, I start thinking logistics. Because one of the elements that I really like in the unity candle ceremony is our moms lighting the two candles prior to us. So if we use something like sand, water, or even colored rocks to pour into a vase, how do we get our moms involved? Do they pour whatever we decide to use into something first? Do they carry it down the aisle? So then I start cracking up at the thought of having our moms carry a bag of rocks down the aisle. (oh like you aren't laughing either. It's a bag of rocks!) Needless to say, the idea needs some more thought.

*Does anyone else get slightly disappointed when they open google and it's the regular logo and not a google doodle?
**IE: stupid.****
***Plus, is it really all that unique if the other thousands of couples getting married this have to share the same 8 ideas? Just saying.
****Judging! Judging!

Party Planner

2012-01-26T11:32:00.001-05:00

I am a party planner. It's my dream job (that is after the head librarian for NPR and if that doesn't work out, the fallback is a dragon tamer (what?)). And, I'm getting married in 4 months. (squeee!!!!)

Anyway, my bridal posse/henchmen/entourage is in the midst of planning my shower and bachelorette party, which I'm just so excited and tickled pink about. I'm just as excited for those as I am about the wedding.It is a party for me (and by some extension dr soc) and my lovely ladies are hosting. I'm doing my best to stay out of it, trust them (which I do, completely), and not suggest stuff.

As a bride I'm excited and happy and just so thankful to have such wonderful people in my lives to do this for me. Though I have to admit, the party planner in me is going nuts!

Super Power

2012-01-23T23:14:00.001-05:00

So. I have a super power.
And that would be the ability to fall asleep without fail on the couch by 11:30 pm. (at the latest)

No matter what I am doing, reading, watching tv, playing on the interwebs, if my derriere is on the couch, my mind zones and my eye lids drop like lead. Mike has gotten used to it by now, and now just wakes me up when it's time to go to bed and to real sleep. (I think he also likes the quiet so he lets me sleep)
One night as we were going to real bed I asked Mike what time I had fallen asleep, figuring it had been around 11ish. Mike informed me I was out, snoring, by 9:30. (In fairness that night, I had pulled an overnight at work and was running on 3.5 hours of sleep. See also: I am not a college kid anymore).

Yep. Super power indeed.

Fred Astaire

2012-01-20T15:44:00.000-05:00

Mike is a man of many talents. Dancing, however is not one of them. He's not bad, but he's not exactly Fred Astaire. Anywho, by the time I realized this, I was way too far gone in love with him and just planned right then and there to take a couple of lessons for our wedding to avoid the middle school shuffle first dance. So when there was a groupon for a few dancing lessons, and that the deadline to use it was right before the wedding, I snapped 2 of those up in a second. And then once I committed to my shoes (more on those in a minute), I decided that I better book these lessons so we would have time to practice.

Tuesday we had our first lesson, which was fun. Though I think I had more a little more fun than Mike. He was fairly tense through the whole lesson because he was concentration so, so hard. He can learn the steps and follow the beat, but I think he's more nervous than he's telling me (I can read your body language dear. After all, I have to learn how to follow you.)

But back to me. We walk into the dance studio and I'm carrying my shoes in their box. The very flamboyant receptionist is super excited to see them, and asks if it's ok to take them out of the box while the groom is right there. I have no qualms about Mike seeing the shoes since they give nothing away about the dress, say sure and hand over the box.

He lifts the lid, pulls back the tissue paper and squeals "those are fabulous!"
I didn't want to say this in front of him, but as we were getting in the car to go home, I say to Mike: When a gay man tells you you have fabulous shoes, your do indeed, have very fabulous shoes!

Merely Flesh Wound

2012-01-17T11:50:00.000-05:00

The other night I tried a new recipe and made a pot of black bean soup in the crockpot. I didn't read the instructions all the way through (rookie mistake), but it was only 2 steps so it's not like the cooking world stopped. Step 1 is to throw everything in the crockpot and cook on low for 8* hours. Done. Step two was to remove the pork blade ribs and bones from the soup after cooking, shred the meat that is falling off the bone and but it back into the soup that you have used and an emulsion blender on to puree it. Except that I don't have an emulsion blender. But that's ok, because I do have a stand blender that I can ladle the soup into. So I put half the soup into the blender, place the lid on, and hit puree.
The lid of the blender popped right off, but I still had my hand on the lid and was able to catch it before it flew completely off and put it back into place before I coated my kitchen in black bean soup. But, because I still had my hand on the lid, some of the soup splashed out of the blender and onto my wrist. This is liquid that has been in cooking in the crockpot for 6 hours, and it's near boiling. In other words, really, really hot. Burn worthy hot. So when it hits my wrist, I cry out in pain.

So all Mike hears is the blender being turned on and then me crying in pain. He's terrified I've just crushed my hand. He's in the kitchen in half a second, frantically asking if I'm ok and what happened. By this point I had had enough sense to turn off the blender, turn around and run cold water over my wrist, but it still hurts pretty fierce, and I'm still a little too shaken up to tell him what happened one way or the other. But I manage to take a breath and tell him, that yes, I am ok, I just burned** my wrist pretty bad.

Mike's reaction? "oh thank god, just a burn!"

*I cheated and did 2 hours on high and 4 hours on low in order to eat sooner. I have a very hungry man to feed at regular intervals or else he gets cranky. Though I get cranky too if I don't eat, so this goes both ways and we always make sure to feed one another.
**At most it was a 2nd degree burn in some spots. There's a little redness and some skin tenderness, but everything is fine.

Oh, and by the way, the soup was yummy!

Missing the Point

2012-01-14T11:45:00.000-05:00

The day after the marathon, this girl walks in to breakfast in her sweats. Well, she was sorta in sweats.
--hushed tones--
mike: Is...is that girl not wearing a shirt?
--we all look over--
lb: She has something on, it has a hood I think? But it seems to stop at her midriff.
me: So, she's wearing a sweatshirt that exposes her stomach? I thought people wore sweats to cover up? She's sorta missing the point of the sweatshirt.
lb: She is completely missing the point of that hoodie!
me: Yeah, the only reason you wear a something like that in the first place is to show off. That her "problem areas" aren't a problem.
lb: Agreed. She's totally showing off.
mom: So, is she not wearing a shirt?
me: I don't think so.
lb: Because then what would be the point of that sweat shirt?

Dancing Feet

2012-01-11T09:47:00.000-05:00

I did something I don't normally do when it comes to shoe shopping for my wedding shoes: I bought them online. After giving up on trying to find a cute heel in a wide option, I decided to go with simply fabulous. Which I got. In pink. Because why the hell not? Well, anyway, they arrive and I'm super excited because they are a: my wedding shoes. and b: super cute. But at the time I was too tired to try them on and prance around because I had just gotten off work.

A few days later I remove all the tissue paper and get them on my feet. And they feel....interesting. They don't feel bad, but they do feel like something. There's a strap near my arch and it's not something I usually wear. But the heel is a great height for me (3", not too tall and I can walk all day in that), they are pink and fabulous, and when I put them next to my dress, they work. (I would tell you why, but that means I would have to describe a key element of my dress and since my fiance reads my blog won't share any details Not that he knows what I'm describing anyway.)

Anyway, long story short, I decided to go with the shoes. So I'm walking around the house in them trying to break them in a little bit (and I may or may not have been prancing around looking at my feet and singing wedding shoes! wedding shoes! to the dogs). I also plan on wearing them to our dancing lessons later this month. (I jumped on that groupon in about 2 seconds. Mike is very talented in many areas, but dancing is not one of them). It's highly practical of me to learn how to dance in them.

But actually, I don't need to learn how to dance in heels, because I can definitely do that. It's dancing in the heavy dress that I need to learn how to do!

What a Differance a Day Makes

2012-01-09T16:19:00.000-05:00

Of course I know how many months there are until the wedding. (Four and a half. Like you're surprised I know that). And the Saturday of thanksgiving weekend was the 6 months out mark. But since I did so much (pre) planning and had most of the big things decided (and more importantly, booked) at that point, 6 months didn't seem like a huge OMG moment.
I figured that since it was still 2011, it still seemed far away enough on the calender. But maybe when 2012 came around, the year we're actually getting married in (squee!), it might be harder to pull me from the tulle vortex.
And yep, two days into the new year, I may have freaked out about ordering the invites because I didn't account for printing time. And I finally booked a florist. Mike and I ordered our wedding bands the other day too (mine is sparkly!). I bought wedding shoes (though I'm not 100% sold on them just yet), and started seriously asking around about tailors.
Yep, the first few months of 2012 will be wedding-centric for me!

Waiting Game

2012-01-03T16:22:00.001-05:00

So. After all the waiting, nerves, tears and frustration of just getting into grad school, I finally received my acceptance letter.  I applied for in-state residency, seeing as that's what I am, and I will have been here for 12 months by the time spring semester started.

But because I can't document that, I was classified as out of state. And the tuition for that is roughly 3 times higher. Even with loans, it's still a lot of money.  Dr soc's extra income is paying for my dream wedding. That leaves my part time retail job, which is mainly being used to slowly pay off my credit card. (Spare the lectures y'all. I had no income for almost 9 months and a stupid high interest rate. And contrary to some people's beliefs, I'm not an idiot when it comes to money).  But the point is that there's not a lot of extra money floating around as it is, and especially not enough to cover out of state.

Fortunately, getting my mrs to a North Carolina resident in May should be enough to qualify me for in state tuition by the fall semester.  So I'm deferring until then. Which does bum me out, waiting even longer to get my career started. But, it is what it is. And honestly, with all the stress and freaking out about getting into school, I really didn't process or prepare for starting grad school. So in a way it's a good thing.

Still. These little stepping stones are annoying me.

Junior

2012-01-02T11:18:00.001-05:00

me: I think large is the smallest size they have here. It seems that jerseys don't come in anything smaller than linebacker size for the fans.
mike: Looks like it, and the the XXL is just ridiculous. Wish I could wear a kids' size like you.
me: It is handy, and cheaper. Though I need to find out if I'm a kids' large or extra large. We'll just check out the boys' department while we're here.
mike: Sure. Hmm, where is it? ::looks around and sees the directional signs:: Oh, juniors is over that way.
me: Oh, no. Not juniors. We need to stay away from there.
mike: Juniors isn't kids?
me: Oh no. No honey, juniors is teen girls.
Mike just flinches. There may have been a shudder in there too.

Resolve

2012-01-01T12:08:00.000-05:00

In 2010 my resolution was to graduate college. Which I did. In December.
In 2011 my resolution was to get into grad school. Which I did. Also in December.
Nothing like waiting until the last minute I suppose.
So for this year, 2012, I'm just resolving to walk the dogs more. That'll work.
Happy New Year!

2011

2011-12-31T15:49:00.001-05:00

I was watching the news and the sound clip was about how some people couldn't wait to say goodbye to the year. But I didn't hate 2011, not at all. I moved to North Carolina, I did a marathon, I have another dog, I got into grad school, and I got engaged (Hi honey! Highlight of my year!). So if that's my 2011, I can't wait to see what 2012 will bring!

Happy New Year!

Gift with Purchase

2011-12-29T14:10:00.000-05:00

Over thanksgiving weekend I made chili for dinner the night before to feed the masses. It was super easy what with just browning the meat, throwing all the ingredients into the crock pot and letting it simmer for 6-8 hours. I've never had my own crock pot, but Mike does. And while when I moved in stuff became "ours," we still know who came with what.

So when my parents arrived, they saw the chili simmering on the kitchen island. And my mom, having shared a kitchen with me, knew that I didn't have one. So she says to me:

mom: I didn't think you had a crock pot Sarah?
me: I don't. It came with the boy!

Hour Glass

2011-12-27T12:42:00.002-05:00

I got a confirmation call from the company we're ordering the bridesmaid dresses from saying they had recieved the order and everything looked good. So, woo hoo on that!

Sort of by coincidence I found the company (and by coincidence I mean I very deliberately clicked on a link that said "bridesmaid dresses they will actually love.") and chose them because they offer a lot of variety in their dresses, so that everyone could find something they look best in. After all, with five different wonderful women in the party, there's bound to be five different body types as well. Though, in my group of friends, we're sort of known for being somewhat top heavy. And even though I already have my dress, that didn't stop me from looking through the whole page of thumbnails and picking out my favorites too.

There was this one dress that I thought was super cute, and it was similar to the one style that all the ladies liked. Then I read the dress description:
"This dress is best suited for those with A and B cups."
me: Well, there goes my bridal party!

Elves

2011-12-25T11:58:00.023-05:00

Because I work retail, I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to get much time off for Christmas. At least, enough time to travel to Kentucky. So it's a quiet Christmas of just me and Mike and our girls this year. Well, quiet enough when Mike isn't cursing at his video game. However, I did get Christmas Eve off. And that happened to be the last home game of my Carolina Panthers, so Mike got me tickets to the game for Christmas.

If you had told me 5 years ago, maybe even 3, that I would receive, let alone be the one asking for football tickets I would have laughed at you. And had you told me that I would be so excited and have a blast at the game I would have laughed even harder. And yes, Mike knows how lucky he is that he found a woman who likes football. And to make the Christmas gift even better, he got us seats 9 rows from the field. I know!

And, because what kind of holiday would it be if I didn't put my dogs in some sort of costume, I clearly ignored my rational side and made each of them wear the Santa suit. And snapped pictures. So without further ado, I give you my helper elves:

Naughty list: Bailey still hates the Santa suit.
(and is way protective of her stocking)

And:

Nice list: Jules was much more willing to don the suit.
(there were treat bribes involved)

A grad school letter, a super duper fun football game, and my two elves. Christmas 2011 has been pretty good!

Merry Christmas!

Jack of all trades, Master of none

2011-12-24T10:14:00.000-05:00

Except. That I am going to get my masters!

My grad school letter came yesterday, finally! After 3 phone calls and a billion nerves wasted, I was told that a decision had finally been made. I just had to wait for the letter since they couldn't tell me over the phone. I honestly wasn't expecting it to come after the new year with most of the staff at the school off for the holidays, but I was oddly settled and ok with waiting since I knew the decision had been made.

The letter came yesterday. And I'm in!

Provisionally, but I'm still in. And I'm classified as out of state too. But I'm still in. Mike and I will take a closer look at everything and figure out the logistics of everything soon. What I may end up doing is deferring a semester so my residency status can change. I may go part time for a little and take a little longer to get the degree. But we'll figure that out soon enough. Right now, I'm just going to enjoy that I'm in, and have pride knowing that I will get my masters.

Pretty good Christmas gift!

Football boyfriends

2011-12-23T09:54:00.003-05:00

This year I'm in 3 fantasy football leagues, which includes my ladies league that's in it's 5th year. In two of those leagues, I have Aaron Rodgers, who has been bad ass this year and I looooooove him. But in my other league I have Drew Brees, who I have always loved. Not that I've ever had him until this year, mind you. But I have loved him since our first year of fantasy football. And here's why.

In our first year it was a tight game between me and Jeanne. By Monday afternoon I was winning by 5 points, but all my players had played. Jeanne has Drew Brees (pre Saints maybe?) in the Monday night game. Not being that into football yet, I figured I had this game lost and went to bed. Jeanne however, stayed up to watch the game and to watch her victory.

That particular game Brees had one of his worst games, getting sacked a few times and throwing a few interceptions, and he only scored Jeanne 3 something points in fantasy football, thus gaining me another win.

The next days smack talk:
jeanne: Drew Brees is dead to me.
me: I love Drew Brees!

Twinkle Twinkle

2011-12-21T11:13:00.002-05:00

Mike and I had on Jeopardy like we normally do during dinner.
The clue: bla bla something this little star is something
me and mike: Twinkle?

Something Worth Praying For

2011-12-20T13:53:00.003-05:00

Part of what annoys me about Tebow is that constant praying. I'm not bashing his faith, but praying to win a football game is such a trivial matter. Like throwing yet another erratic pass is going to help the world.

I'm not really one for praying these days. I've never had a very strong faith base and religion hasn't ever been a huge guide post for me. And to be completely honest, I lost a lot of the little faith that I had when my dad was officially diagnosed.

Dementia is the most heartbreaking thing. Everything about it is just so hard. Slowly loosing someone over time, putting you in a revolving, yet never ending stage of grief. The helplessness of knowing you can't do anything. There are drugs out there that slow down the disease, and those are wonderful. But there's still nothing out there that can repair the damage or that would cure it.

Until soonish. Because this super pill could be a real possibility. Something that would fix memories and heal brains. Something to hope for, in a disease that has no hope. This pill, if possible, is worth praying for.

What's In A Name?

2011-12-19T12:50:00.000-05:00

This weekend my sister walked at her masters graduation (woot!). As they read off all 4 of her names, (first, middle, maiden and married) it reminded me of the conversation that I had with dr soc after he saw my full name at my graduation last year.

mike: Your middle name is Anna?
me: Yeah...
mike: Oh. I thought it was Ann.
me: Nope. It's Anna. Pretty sure of that.
mike: Yeah, yeah that is something you would know wouldn't you.

Crafty

2011-12-12T21:35:00.000-05:00

So, get this. Flowers? Are expensive. And totally not worth the money in my opinion. I know they matter to some people and to each their own, but me? Not so much.

I finally contacted some florist for the wedding and was told that for a wedding my size, flowers would cost somewhere between $2000 - $3000, which to me, seems ridiculous. Like the flowers will be the detail everyone will talk about, let alone remember. (We're saving that for the grooms cake) I'm not trying to belittle anyone's work, even though that's what it sounds like. Florist have a skill set that I don't have and I'm glad to hand over the reigns to them. But I don't want to sink a ton of money into something that I doesn't matter to me.

I don't want to go all DIY on the wedding, but it was looking like I may have since budget was the main driving force on this part. But with some sleuthing around on the internet and a sketch pad, I figured out what to do. I'll still use a florist for the people flowers, but I can make the rest of the decorations. I have the time, I have the skill set, and, most importantly, I have the internet and Martha Stewart* weddings has everything online.

*Oh she most definitely still terrifies me. But like a moth to a flame I flocked. She's sorta like heroin, only more legal and less injecting-y.

Smart Appliances

2011-12-08T12:04:00.002-05:00

me: Let's take the dogs for a w-a-l-k.
mike: Sure. But let me stop the dryer before we go.
me: Why?
mike: You should never run the dryer when you aren't in the house.
me: What? I've never heard that before.
mike: It can start a fire when you're not home.
me: Well, here's my question. How does the dryer know if we're home or not?
mike: --sigh--

Vaniety sizing

2011-12-07T11:02:00.001-05:00

--Mike was trying on coats*--
me: That one fits really well on you. --I look at the size tag-- Oh, it's medium. Do you want to try on the large to see how it fits?
mike: Sure --tries on the large-- Hmm, are the shoulders off on this one?
me: They do seem a little to wide for you. I think the medium looked better.
mike: Ok, cool, we'll go with the medium.
me: Can I just say, how much that I appreciate that you have no problems with a medium and don't have a Napoleon complex where you think that by not wearing a large you are less of a man?
mike: Uh, ok. The medium looks better, why wouldn't I get it?
me: I'm just saying. I mean it's really just vanity sizing in male/reverse form.
mike: Vanity sizing?
me: Yeah, women buying smaller sizes because it makes you feel better. I do it. For example, I'll try on a 4 and a 2, and there may be no difference whatsoever in how they they look on me, but I will without fail buy that 2 because it is a 2 and not a 4.** So for guys it's buying a bigger size because they feel more manly in one.
mike: That's stupid.
me: I know. --Sigh-- Don't judge me.

*It's his Christmas present that he already wore. The practical side of me says he should wear it now since the point of a coat is to wear it. But the holiday side of me says he has to wait until Christmas!
** Sigh, I know. The plight of being small.

Grey or Gray? Either Way, It's Not My Favorite Color

2011-12-06T11:15:00.000-05:00

Apparently being too terrified to get the mail and doing nothing but worrying about getting into grad school was too much for Mike to handle. So he made me call the grad school for my admission status this morning since classes start in a month.

I was right to be worried.

Someone in the grad school office looked up my name and the reason the decision was taking so long. And then I talked to her supervisor to explain things. I was told that a decision has been made, but there are still some questions about my gpa. So my application has been forwarded to the department head's attention. Who is in Dallas the rest of this week and not looking at my application. So as of this moment, my admission status is still in a "gray area."

That? Is not a yes. It's not a no either, but... it's not a yes.

This has to be based on my uc gpa. Because my uk cumulative gpa was a 2.9. I have nothing to show for my 6 years at uc except a low gpa. And there is nothing I can do to change that. So now I'm just wishing and hoping and praying that cincinnati hasn't kept me from something I want once again. Last year when I walked at my graduation, I believed I had finally triumphed over that school. I had nothing to be embarrassed about anymore. I could hold my head high and say I earned this, and cinci couldn't take anything away from me anymore. I should have known better.

Needless to say, I'm even more anxious now. I've said that I would apply again and look into other programs if it didn't happen this year. But if my gpa is the reason for their hesitancy, there's nothing I can do to change that and this is just going to keep coming up, no matter what school I apply to. I'm still at the mercy of other people's acceptance.

Gray sucks.

Statue of Limitations

2011-12-05T10:00:00.004-05:00

--while we're registering--
mike: An $80 plate?
me: Yeah, it's a good "couple" gift to give.
mike: Couple gift?
me: A gift you give if you're a couple. Too much for one person to give, but not quite big enough for it to be a group gift.
mike: oh I see. So the mixer is a group gift, but the fancy platter is something that we give.
me: Exactly.
mike: Still, $80 for a plate.
me: I know. Like the time I gave a $70 something silver platter as a wedding present and signed 2 names to the card. And I had already spent $30 on her shower gift. Then the couple goes and divorces less than 2 years later.
mike: Ouch.
me: Yep. To be honest, I kinda want my gift back.

Puppies

2011-12-03T12:55:00.000-05:00

mike: Brian was trying to distract Kelli from the baby talk for a while there by promising her a puppy.
me: Ah yes! The distract the wife from the baby talk with a puppy plan. Foolproof! Which, by the way, that won't work on me.
mike: No? No distracting you getting puppy talk?
me: Nope.
mike: You don't want a puppy?
--I shoot him a knowing look--
me: Hell no. You know Bailey was enough puppy for a lifetime. Plus I'm way too entrenched in that baby wagon*. No matter when you ask me, puppy or baby, I'm always going to choose the baby.

--fast forward a few days later as we're discussing Christmas presents--

me: You know, when I was in early college, way before I ever actually had a dog and Bailey, I really wanted my future husband to get me a puppy for our first married Christmas.
mike: Really?
me: Yeah, I didn't know any better. Now, you know better than to get me puppy.
mike: Don't worry, I won't get one. The kids however...
me: The kids better not get me a puppy!
mike: You know eventually they're going to want one...
me: No! The kids won't want a puppy!
--mike snorts--
me: sh*t. We're going to get a puppy.

*not anytime soon though. Not because I'm not ready. It's because my wedding dress has no seam allowances whatsoever for a baby bump.

Lurk

2011-12-02T09:51:00.003-05:00

I admit that I lurk on some of the knot message boards.
I'm looking for a seamstress in Charlotte and a florist in Lexington, so I've been using the local message boards for vendor reviews and names. And then of course I go play in the tulle vortex and lurk on the rest of them reading about rsvp drama, and cake nightmares. Good times yo. I do not, however, post on the message boards. Partly because I don't care enough, but also because I don't know the lingo.

But there was one time I was tempted to comment. A bride not familiar with Lexington asked if anyone knew anything about a particular venue. Oh I knew something alright. I know that until a few years ago, it used to be a funeral home.

It was completely remodeled, they put on an addition and from the pictures on the website it really is very pretty.  But because I went to middle school next door to it, I know what it used to be. For a building located in the historic district, there seems to be bit of history about the facility missing from their site. (Do you blame them though?)  Knowing what I knew about the previous use, I couldn't possibly get over the icky factor of it and didn't even bring it to our table of possible venues, even though it fell within our budget.  Mike was curious* about why I wasn't researching this place more since I had scoured the internets for details for everything else and asked why. So I told him exactly why and that it was bad juju. He needed no other explanation, agreed with me promptly, and we didn't discuss the venue further.

But just because we didn't want this venue for that particular reason, doesn't mean that I have to ruin it for someone else with my knowledge.** So I didn't comment.  First because I'm not a commenter on these things, only a lurker. And second, I'm not an asshole.

*this was in the very early days of wedding planning and he was genuinely curious. And didn't know any better. He asked a question and was completely overwhelmed when I launched into a 30 minute detailed explanation of god knows what wedding related.  He's since learned that when it comes to the tulle vortex, he is just let me swirl around in there and only pull me out if I start causing some damage.

**I think she ended up booking it. I lurked back on the message boards and she had posted an update. Fun times for her!

Calender daze

2011-12-01T21:52:00.000-05:00

Hold up, it's December? Where did 2011 go?

Maybe between the moving to North Carolina, exploring a new city, applying for grad school, getting a part time job, getting a dining room table, running my fifth half marathon, finishing my first full marathon, hosting thanksgiving, getting engaged,planning the wedding and registering, I must have missed a few dates here and there on the calender.

Sheesh! If things keep going at this rate, the next thing you know it'll be time for Mike to retire!

Paper

2011-11-30T11:47:00.000-05:00

I? Am seriously going nuts waiting to hear about my admission status from grad school. My nerves are litteraly shot to hell just waiting.
Yeah I knew I would have to wait and I have to be patient. And school starts in just over a month. But what really sent me over the edge into crazy-wait was when I received an email from financial aid saying I needed to update something.  I had sent in my fafsa the day before in a move to be prudent (though I really didn't want to because I'm terrified I jinxed something by doing so). I can check my financial status by using my university id which they gave me in the email, and then find out my pin once I logged in with my university id.

An university id! You shouldn't get one of those if you're not a student, right? RIGHT??? I log on, get my pin, and then proceed to clink link after link to become even more confused and a babbling mess about my status. Because while I can be found in the university directory, when I tried to see what classes were available to me, I was told in bold print I am not listed as a student for any terms. Wha? On top of that, a few days before the financial aid email, I received the graduate school newsletter in the mail.  who do they send that to? The graduate students? Anyone who applied? Way to tease.

And as crazy as I'm going, (just ask mike, I'm a bundle of anxiety) I'm too terrified to call the admissions office to find out my status. I can't handle them telling me no. I can't handle hearing you aren't good enough. Because I have heard it before, and it traumatized me. I got stuck spinning my wheels for 3 years because I didn't get a piece of paper. And now another piece of paper seems to be the key in deciding my fate.

I really hope that I'm completely over reacting and that it's my impatience getting the best of me.   That really is the best case senario that I'm working myself into a tizzy for nothing. I'll apply again if I have to, and I'm poking around of another (accredited) program North Carolina. All I need is that piece of paper. But I'm still anxious as hell all the same.

Best Acronym Ever

2011-11-28T17:01:00.000-05:00

I'm on the knot reading etiquette message boards. And because some brides take all their time debating god knows what, they don't have time to use their words, so they abbreviate or use an acronym for every single fcking thing.

So idk wth ppl r saying.

There is however, one that cracks me up. Someone posted to the message boards asking if her wedding date was a bad date. And the general consensus was check w/the key members of who you want there, and if the date works for them to go for it. Just be sure to send out stds.

Now I don't know which std is more wedding related, or how well something like the clap travels via mail. But I'm just going to say that if I received a std from someone I probably don't want to go to their wedding!

She Who Uses the Most Butter Wins

2011-11-27T23:13:00.001-05:00

I won.
So my first Thanksgiving was a huge success. Well, my first Thanksgiving hosting, not my first Thanksgiving ever. But you know what I mean. There were 9 people total in the house, both sets of parents, each of our siblings sans their spouses, and my uncle.  Everyone had a good visit and time, everyone got along (not that I expected a brawl, but still with 9 people in your house sometimes things happen), and the dogs behaved wonderfully. Bailey especially warmed up to Mike's brother and then insisted on snuggling and draping herself all over everyone.

As for the food, with the exception of the gravy, the food turned out really well. And the gravy wasn't bad, it just wasn't that good.  The turkey was done an hour before I expected and was the teeniest bit dry (despite the 1/2 lb of butter I stuffed under the skin and all the basting), but it looked really pretty and was a rich mahogany color as it came out of the oven.  And the turkey itself wasn't the hardest part of all the cooking .  After I stuffed the bird (sausage cornbread stuffing, yummy and southern) and get it in the oven, you sorta just wait around to do everything else. It's when the turkey comes out of the oven that all hell breaks loose. Not only do you need the drippings from the turkey for the gravy, almost everything else needs the oven* too. Right as everything was being put on the table to eat I reached my frazzle point, but everything made it out fine, everyone sat down, the wine was poured and we ate.

You know what I didn't realize though? How exhausted I would be after cooking! Who would have thanks that putting on a meal for 9 people would be so tiring? But it was worth it. I had a really good time meal planning, cooking and hosting everyone. Everyone liked the food (or else lied very emphatically to not hurt my feelings. And if that's the case then I appreciate it!), everyone got along, and looks like Mike and I are the front runners now for the big holiday gatherings.

Holiday success!

*Which is why my dream kitchen has a double oven. I know the only time I would use it would be during the holidays so it's by no means practical. But, oh, the thought of having a double oven in my kitchen, be still my heart!

Where My Mind Goes

2011-11-23T12:00:00.001-05:00

Did y'all here about that Target worker who started the petition to not open at midnight? It's gained national attention but it's totally not going to work. After creating all the hullabaloo, now this guy doesn't have to work black Friday at all. Which, bully for him. Yes I'm grumbling some about having to do the same thing myself, but I figured out how to make it work for me and whatever. I didn't care enough to stir the pot. And on top of that, my hours changed. The county that my store is in won't let us open until 6am, so now I go in at 5:30 am and work until 2 pm. So I can get a decent amount of sleep the night before, and have the rest of my Friday to spend with my family. Thank you Union county!

Anyway, I first hear about the guy via the internets, like you do. The article starts with a brief intro about the guy and why thanksgiving is important him. Last year he popped the question to his girlfriend, so this thanksgiving they were going to start planning the wedding.

My first thought: (incredulously) They got enagaged last year and they haven't planned the wedding?!?!

one mind

2011-11-22T13:15:00.001-05:00

me: Last night in my dream I had a dream. It was so weird. But at some point in there, I don't know if it was the dream or the dream within the dream, I dreamed that your ex was trying to get you back.
mike: That's actually funny, because last night I dreamed that your ex was trying to get you back.
me: Whoa. We had the same dream?
mike: Guess so.
me: Cool yet very odd. In my dream your ex showed up to my parents house and claimed you had finish something with work with her. You actually did have to finish this project so you did, but both of us knew what she was doing. So I just stood there on the landing shooting you glares to finish up the project as fast as you could and get her out of there.
mike: Ha! Well, there's a negative 90% chance that would ever happen. So you have nothing to worry about.
me: That's good. Oh, and you have nothing to worry about from your dream either.
mike: Yeah? Your ex won't ever try to get you back?
me -snorts- No, he's too lazy!
--mike snicker--

Black Friday

2011-11-20T09:33:00.041-05:00

When you have a job in retail, you accept that you will have to work on black Friday. It's just the nature of the beast. You deal with the crazies and crowds of shoppers for a few hours and you just do it.

I requested to work the early shift on black Friday since I have lots of family coming in for the weekend. At the time I requested this, my store opened at 3 am. So I figured I could be at work by 2 am, finished by 10 am at the latest, giving me the rest of the day to spend with my family. Except now, we open at midnight. So I go to work at 11:45pm thanksgiving day, and work until 8:30 the next morning. Yeah.

I considered pulling an all nighter like my daap years. Staying up until I start work, then powering through the rest of my Friday along with everyone else in their right mind who slept through the night. But I know better.  Just because I have done many all nighters, doesn't mean I did any of them well.  Plus I'm 29 years old and I'm too old to be pulling that kind of college kid sh*t. I'll be cranky and snippy if I don't sleep, and I don't want to ruin anyone's time here just because I didn't get some rest.

So now I plan to have dinner a little earlier, and split my sleep time. I'll rest a few hours before I leave for work, and then again when I get back home. I'll get breakfast started and then head back up to bed for a few more hours.  Yeah it's my house and I want to be the one hostessing, but in the milieu of family here are 2 moms and 3 domesticated men to take care of things.  It's the best plan for less than ideal time line.

Retail is a business and I understand that they are just trying to be competitive with each other. And yeah, I'm going to grumble a little bit, but it's one day.  Like I said, black friday is just part of the nature of the beast. But the beast didn't have to be a meanie either.

Mother knows best

2011-11-19T13:24:00.009-05:00

So. It happened. I've become my mother.

We sound the same. People get us mixed up on the phone all the time. Mike mistook me for my mom on the phone once. And even I couldn't tell a difference one time! I heard a message I left on their answering machine and thought, "why did my mom leave herself a message and call herself mom?"
I keep things I have no use for and I can't explain why. (It doesn't mater that I haven't worn my leopard print shoes that are too big in 3 years! I can't give them up!) However, it is broken and I can't fix it, I throw it out.
I used to leave coffee mugs in the microwave. Though once I got a really needy microwave that freaks out if you don't come back to get your stuff, I stopped doing that particular thing. But still, classic (my) mom move.
I worry
I can't eat something I cook without commenting on it. I made this too salty, there's not enough flavor, maybe next time I should add, last time it was....ect.
I listen to NPR all the time in the car now. As a kid I would have killed to listen to music in the car, but now I actively listen to it. I even gave them money this year like a grown up.
I search for cool things to watch on PBS. I am not however, a slave to my tv like she is and know how to use my dvr.

And then, finally the piece-de-resistance, the one that made it official:

I actively search for a shady spot in the parking lot

And this is all for right now. Just wait until I become a mom!

Lets Talk Turkey

2011-11-17T12:07:00.003-05:00

No, really, lets talk turkey.

I'm having Thanksgiving this year. And not just for me and Mike, I'm having thanksgiving for 9 (my parents, my uncle, Mike's parents, brother and his wife) or 10 (my sister) people total. Nine to ten people! (thank heavens our table seats 14).  I'm very excited about everyone coming in and cooking for that many people. I really am. But I'm also slightly terrified.

I've never made a turkey before. I've helped my mom previous thanksgivings and I've paid attention to what we were doing, but still, eep. Those were 12 lb birds. I was told you need 3 lbs of turkey per person, and that equals 30 lbs. Thirty!  So I did what any woman on her own having her first thanksgiving does: I begged my mom for help. (and cooking supplies. What? What else do you think we registered for?)

It sounds simple enough to roast a turkey in the oven.  Pop the turkey in the oven for some hours based on the amount of pounds, baste every now and again, let it rest a half hour before carving. But then there are all these nuances you don't think about. Like how big a turkey to actually get. The Joy of cooking told me 1 lb of turkey per person, my mom told me 3. Do I split the difference and say 2? That's still a 20 lber! Do I roast breast side up or down? Foil tent or no? Fresh or frozen turkey? If I get a frozen turkey, I have to account for thaw time in the fridge. It will take days to thaw a 20 lb bird, and I don't have that amount of time for prime fridge space. Do I stuff the bird with stuffing or aromatics? (stuffing). What kind of stuffing? (I'm partial to a sausage stuffing myself. Nothing says gluttony like stuffing another kind of meat into another) How about brining the bird? When do you even do that? After it's thawed completely or during that last day of thawing? Where do you brine it? Do I even have a pot big enough to brine in the first place?

MOM!!!!!!

Dream Woman

2011-11-16T17:01:00.000-05:00

me: Hey there's a thanksgiving cooking class this weekend as the groupon. Do you want to do it with me?
mike: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. When is it?
me: There's one Saturday and Sunday, at 2 pm.
mike: Which of those days work better for you?
me: I'm off (work) both those days, so either or.
mike: What time was the one on Sunday?
me: 2 pm
mike: Ok. Lets d---
me: Wait, lets do the Saturday one. Cause 2 pm Sunday is football.
mike: Yes! I was just going to say that!
me: I know what's important baby.

Like Columbus, Only with Chocolate

2011-11-14T15:01:00.000-05:00

I have finally discovered nutella. Holy deliciousness batman!

Ok, I've known about nutella for a while now, I just never tried it until recently. I had a $1 off coupon and it was super double coupon time at my grocery store (they double coupons $0.99 and under on a daily basis, but this particular week they were doubling anything up to $1.98), and it was on sale. So I figured why not?

And I figured out what all the fuss was about. It's way yummy. I may or may not have licked the knife I used to spread it on my toast.... Now, the only thing I have to do is keep Mike from discovering it. Cause if he does, nutella is just going to go the same way as chocolate Cheerios do in our house (strait into his tummy), and there won't be any left for me!

all the pies

2011-11-09T09:53:00.000-05:00

me: I don't think I have an opinion one way or the other on your tux for the wedding.
mike: (dubious) Really? No opinion? You don't care what I get?
me: Not really. Well, ok. I guess there are some things that I would prefer over other options.
mike: Like what?
me: Well, I'd like for it to be black. And I know I want vests instead of cummerbunds, and traditional ties instead of bow ties. I don't want the guys to have tails either. I would like the point where the jacket closes to be lower on the torso so you can see the vest and tie. But I don't know if I care about how many buttons the tux has.
mike: Sooo..... no opinion?
me: Oh. Ok. Some opinion.
mike: That's what I thought.
me: Yeah, I know. I may say I have no opinion, but I think we all know that I have my fingers in every bit of wedding pie there is.

Texting

2011-11-08T12:12:00.000-05:00

me: Mom just called. She's on her way.
mike: Well, hopefully she'll be there before you have to go to work.
me: Fingers crossed. She won't be able to get a hold of me there, so she'll more than likely try call you trying to get into the house. Which, does she even have your number?
mike: I think so. I've called her before. You could text it to her just in case...
--here we both start laughing--
me: -snort-- You know my mom doesn't know how to text!
mike: Yeah, as I was saying the words I realized that that wouldn't work.

Yeah, my mom really doesn't know how to use her cell phone. Which is actually pretty funny until you need to get a hold of her. It's actually my old cell, so she just took over the number when I switched back onto their plan. I think she's finally got in the habit of having it on her, but she still never hears it so she never answers it. The one time she did pick up I was so surprised I thought I had the wrong number. I never bother to leave a message because she doesn't know how to check for them, let alone the pin number to access them. Even the out going message is the message I recorded years ago for my voicemail. Then, when texting became a valid form of communication (though I still abhor text talk and spelling and staunchly refuse to use it), for my mom to use it, I just chalked that up a lost cause.

My First Marathon

2011-11-07T17:54:00.000-05:00

I did it! I really did it! I ran/walked 26.2 miles through Savannah, GA on November 5, 2011 .
Holy crap I DID IT!!!!

My official time was 5:06:22, and it being my first, that makes it a personal best for me. And I am ridiculously proud of myself.

I started out way to fast so I couldn't keep my pace for the entire race. I was keeping a really good pace of about a 9:30 mile, but at mile 14 I knew I had to start walking. I tried to start back up running every so often, but my legs were so tight and my feet were so tired that I could never manage more than a quarter of a mile running and never picked my pace back up.

But I kept going. I kept focusing on moving forward, walking long strides, and never stopping. Because I knew if I stopped, even for a second to stretch or go to the bathroom, I wouldn't have been able to keep going. And really, I just wanted to finish. I think I had just passed mile 26 when i saw my sister in the crowds, running towards me and then she fell in step with me. And it was almost too much for me, being so close and in so much pain. But she told me I could do it. That I would be done in 2 more minutes, and I could do anything for two more minutes. And even though I had been telling myself over and over through the race, I can do this, I can do this, hearing someone else tell you that makes it more believable.

In the post race glow (also known as sweat) with my finisher's medal around my neck and wrapped in my mylar blanket I was leaning on Mike to help me walk back to the hotel. I gleefully exclaimed that now that I have done a marathon, I never have to do one again and that I can actually say I prefer to run halves. Which is true. Training for a marathon is hard and I don't know if I can manage that every year. But then today a coworker asked me how was my trip and what was my time, and all that other race stuff. I told her my time and that it was a personal best for me. And then, the next thing out of my mouth was: "but I'll do better on my next one!"

Savannah

2011-11-03T10:14:00.000-04:00

me: Hey Lb, where's convention this yeah? Savannah?
lb: nope, Jacksonville.
me: Oh. I think I'm always hoping that it will be in Savannah. So I'm just going to keep suggesting it on the off chance that I may be right one year.
lb: You do that.

Turns out, Savannah is too expensive for convention. So I won't be going there for that anytime in the near future.
However: I am going to go there this weekend. Because I'm running my first marathon there at 7 am Saturday morning..
Which me luck! Epp!

matter

2011-11-02T16:18:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I tried to enroll in a health care plan through work, but my employee number and name didn't bring up any records. Which is odd and I talked to HR about it since my window for enrollment is still open. But at the time, I felt like I didn't count with them I guess, and that the last few months have been nothing to them. Because that was an unproductive portion of my day, in a cart before the horse move, I started to fill out my fasfa just in case I start school next semester. (Hey, wouldn't it be hysterical if I receive financial aid but don't get into grad school? A fcking laugh riot I bet!), but before I could file it, there was a discrepancy between the number of dependents and members living in my house hold. I claimed that I am single/never married, because I am, but there are 2 of us living in my household. Which is true, it's dr soc's house and I just live there. But I guess the government doesn't understand that an "independent student" can still be dependent on other people. So I had to list that there was no one else in my household.

And that for some reason, really stung. My ego was already bruised from applying for a job earlier in the day that I know I'm not really qualified for. My employee info not coming up for health insurance made me feel like I don't belong. And now I have to say I don't have anyone at home with me.

I just felt like I really don't matter. And that's a depressing place to go.

Dependant

2011-11-01T10:47:00.000-04:00

I may joke about getting used to rejection letters from jobs, but I'm never going to get used to it. As more and more time passes between the time I recieved my degree and full time employment, I become more and more unhirable. Yes, I have a part time job and I'm glad I have something and am making some money, but I'm still compleatly dependant on my fiance and my parents. How does that make a person feel good about themselves?

And as much as Mike tries to make me feel better about everything, he doesn't understand. Even when he wasn't in a career, he was still in school working towards something. He resigned a job with a horrible boss to start his shiny new teaching carreer in a shiny new city right away. I don't begrudge him for having these good things because he's worked very hard and deserves them. But he's not stuck in the shiny new house, in our shiny new city, continiously searching for a shiny new job to start my shiny new career, all while being at the mercy of other people's acceptance.

But he just doesn't understand how hurtful it is to feel like that you don't matter. The lump I get my chest as the rejection emails pile up. To continiuosly come up empty on jobs that I am qualified for. To apply for jobs I'm only partialy qualified for, and then to not even be surprised when I am ignored.
And even if things just snaped into place that I land a full time job, by the time I'd be on my feet I'll be married, and then dependant on my husband. I'm never going to be a grown up.

Costumes

2011-10-31T16:25:00.001-04:00

This was pretty much about all of how much of a costume I could put on my dogs:

Yoho yoho! A pirates life for me!

And this:

Angel in disguise

Momma, of course, giggled and loved her girls. The girls, of course, hated it. The angel hated it so much that within two seconds of snapping the picture she picked a nasty fight with the pirate.

Something tells me that dressing them up for the Christmas card is a bad idea...

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T13:04:00.002-04:00

--A conversation I had with my sister back in the (somewhat) early months of me and Mike dating.--

me: 4th of July weekend we're going to Michigan for his brother's wedding
amy: a holiday wedding.
me: Yep. His cousin got married new years eve last year. His family seems to like the holiday weddings.
amy: seems like it. Hey, if you guys get married what holiday you going to pick? Arbor day?
me: Halloween. It's his favorite holiday.

Well, we didn't pick Halloween, but Memorial day's a close second right?

Big person things

2011-10-30T11:00:00.001-04:00

Mike and I are no longer in the market for a dining room set. Cause we kinda sorta totally bought one on Friday. After not having much luck with finding something we didn't hate at the traditional furniture stores (and dealing w/creepy sales guys), I poked around on Ikea's website to just to see if they had anything worth looking into further. There were 2 tables that each sat 6-10 who were contenders, but I know we need to see them in person before we even consider them further. Mike actually has to see something to get a feel for its' dimensions, and ikea furniture you really need to check it out since it runs on the small side since everything there is designed to fit in a 200 square foot apartment. Since I had the day off and Mike doesn't teach on Fridays, when we were out and about I asked if he was in the mood to go to the store and look. (yep, we live within less than an hour of an ikea. That could not be dangerous to our pocketbooks at all) So we did.

Turns out, one of the tables that I liked (and the cheaper one) was just too narrow for my taste. (I can't pronounce the line name since everything is Swedish. Mike solved this problem by just making up names as we walked along, and hilarity ensued) But as we're wandering around the dining room area, we see the larger version of the cheaper table. That seats 10 -14. Fourteen. For the same price as it's smaller counterpart. The design is the color we want. It's the size we need. It extends. (if the table didn't extend it wasn't even going to be considered). The chairs are at a reasonable price...
We look at each other, calculating things. We don't want to buy a table just to buy a table, but... This is the first thing we've liked. At a price we like... And we do need it for this thanksgiving... So with a few quick calls to our parents to ask if they wouldn't mind helping us out with the table for Christmas, we decided to go with it. We arranged to have it delivered because there's no way we were going to fit anything in the car.

So now, we have a dining room table and chairs! We have big person furniture! To go in our big person house! To have big person holiday hosing duties! And to continue our big person trend, we both kept peeking out our front windows to see if the delivery people had arrived, like little kids. We're grown ups!

(When we opened one of the boxes, one of the table tops* was damaged. So once that's replaced and we have everything assembled I'll*** post pictures)
* Another caveat of ikea furniture: assemble it yourself furniture and that you can't really inspect what's in the box** you're buying.
**though, only having 1 out of 12 boxes delivered having damaged merchandise is pretty good odds.
***That's probably a lie. I never take pictures in the first place, let alone post them.

State Lines

2011-10-28T10:53:00.001-04:00

mom: Why don't you change your residency to Ohio honey?
me: Because that would mean that I actually live there.

Of all the times I've moved across state lines, I've never changed my residency.  I lived in Ohio for 7 years total, and steadfastly held onto my Kentucky residency through that time. Turns out, I really never wanted to live in cinci.  And then I moved back to Lexington and I didn't have to worry about changing anything on my licence. Well, seeing as I have plans to live out the rest of my life and burden my children in North Carolina, at some point I really should become a North Carolina resident. Plus, I need in-state tuition.

It's really not that hard. Once I finally got a job, I could finally establish that I live here. So I switched to NC insurance, passed my drivers test (you know that if you make it a point to never break the law and drive drunk or buy alcohol for minors, you don't bother to learn the consequences for breaking them. So when you are asked those questions on said test you have no idea what the answer is), and finally switched my tags over.

So I'm officially a North Carolina resident now. It feels a little anti-climatic honestly.  Twenty-nine years as a Kentuckian, and then, poof, North Carolina. That's it? Well, ok then. I won't give up my UK allegience and pride (I never fault anyone for cheering for thier alma mater. Even if it is the devil knows as Duke), and I still won't cheer for UNC either.  But now I can really say that the Panthers are my team!

Taking Chances

2011-10-27T11:08:00.000-04:00

A few months ago, there were no library positions that I was qualified for of any sort close to me. But by some magic of timing, 5 different library positions became available between 3 different systems. None of them required the MLS, and one was even full time, which is what I really, really want and need. So of course I applied. (My library basket if pretty full at the moment. Besides applying for those positions, I'm waiting to hear back from grad school. Don't ask me about it. I've applied and I'm waiting on pins and needles to know if I was accepted or not. The only way I feel about right now is anxious.)
The good news is that I landed an interview for one of the part time jobs and I was ecstatic. I thought the interview went really well and you can tell that I am completely qualified, and I'm passionate about the work. But in 3 days I received the thanks but no thanks email. I'm glad they let me know soon, even though it wasn't the answer I wanted. And there was still some hope that one of the other positions might happen.

Yesterday I received and email from the full time position informing me that I had not been selected for an interview. They appreciate my interest and encourage me to continue looking for employment with them that interests me. Except that is the position that interests me and that I'm most qualified for. I've interviewed with them before twice for positions that I really didn't know what I would be doing. Obviously I didn't get them, but I was still at least qualified for an interview.

Mike keeps trying to tell me that it's not a reflection of my abilities and qualifications, and that I shouldn't take this to heart. But try not to do that. I am still waiting on some things, but it's hard to not get discouraged about everything. I do have a part time job right now and I'm grateful for that. But I'm still bummed about not getting the job I interviewed for. But I'm even more disappointed about the full time job. Because they didn't even give me a chance.

Medusa-esque

2011-10-22T15:59:00.002-04:00

--me: reading yahoo news feed--
me: Honey, did you see this cyclops shark discovery?
mike: Ye...
me: Wait. Of course you did. Of course you did.
mike: Of course I did. Why do you ask questions you know the answer too?
me: I don't know.
--I click on the article--
me: Wonder what this thing looks li -- AAHHHHHH!!!---
--insert terrified scream from seeing the ugliest thing since Medusa. I can't hit backspace fast enough--
me: WHY didn't you warn me?! That thing is terrifying!
mike: I don't know?

Coffee Maker

2011-10-21T09:17:00.000-04:00

Never ask a non-coffee drinker to set up your coffee maker for you. I doesn't end well.
I love my fiance. I can prove this because I drove him to the airport at 5am* this morning.  It being an early flight and me having to work late last night meant we would have to go to bed almost as soon as I got home.  And knowing that I wouldn't be awake enough to drive if I didn't have coffee in the morning, I needed to set my delay brew (one of the worlds best inventions in my opinion).  However, I didn't figure this out until right before I needed to leave for work.  So as I'm putting on my shoes about to run out the door, I asked Mike if he could set up my coffee for the morning.

He says yes but a look of concern crosses his face. I give him the cliff notes version: water, filter, coffee. I'll set up the timer, and the look of concern goes away. I get home last night, set the timer, open the lid and see there is coffee in the filter and think nothing more of it.  This morning I hear the (obnoxious) beeps of my coffee maker after it's done brewing, and I start to pour it into my travel mug...and it's just cold water in the pot. He got the water** part. He just didn't pour it into the coffee maker...

Fortunately, there was time for me to pour the water into the proper place and brew the coffee for real. And because my love for him trumps my caffeine addiction, I just found the whole thing silly and not annoying. But lesson learned nonetheless.

*It's the 5 am part that proves I love him. Airport pickup/drop off duties are part of duties once you have been fiance-ed, if that stage has not already been reached in your relationship.
**An ex wanted to make a cup of coffee to stay up late (after telling me that he was stronger than me for not having a caffeine dependency the week before), so he stared at the coffee maker wondering how the coffee maker magically turned the solid coffee grinds into liquid.

Commission Hell

2011-10-20T10:55:00.002-04:00

Mike and I are in the market for a dinning room table. Even though we're hosting Thanksgiving this year (for 9 people, maybe even 10! (my first thanksgiving and I go BIG!)), we're going to wait until after the wedding to furnish our dining room. In other words, we're not going to get a table now just for the sake of getting a table. The table itself isn't what's all that expensive, it's all the chairs that get you. But anyway, we were in the area of a lot of furniture stores and since we had some time, we popped in a few of them to see what was available.

We didn't have much luck. The formal dining room isn't something that my generation wants in their house now*. So all of the dining room sets in the stores were old fashioned rococo massive ornate stuff. Just because we want a traditional dining room doesn't mean we want traditional furniture in it. Finding something we both like and isn't exorbitantly priced is going to be more difficult than we thought.**

The last place we looked at was Haverty's Furniture. I can't really tell you too much what the furniture there was like because I was too distracted by the sales guy following us around the entire store. It was so, so creepy and awful. Mike's actually pushing me to walk faster, and I'm about to grab his hand and run out of there. We couldn't make snarky comments to each other, let alone even talk to each other without the guy over hearing. We made the mistake of pausing a few seconds at a table and the guy piped in with unsolicited info on the set. We didn't even want to look anymore since all we could think about was getting the hell out of there. So that's what we did. And just to nail that final nail in the creepy coffin, the guy sprints ahead of us to get the door for us as we leave.

It was so awful we're not going back. Which is too bad for them because they were the first store that had furniture we didn't immediately hate. I know these guys work on commission, but that's no excuse for the creepy! It creates such a toxic environment and the people can sense it. It's not how I want to shop. If I want your help, I'll ask for it. I don't mind working in retail myself, but I have never worked on commission and never will.

You know the saying: have a good experience, tell 2 people. But have a bad experience, tell 10? Yeah. I'm telling everyone.

*The young pups today also don't register for fine china either. To which I say, that's fine for now, but in 10 years when you are hosting the big family gathering and have no place to seat everyone and no fancy china to serve on, you'll be wishing you had asked for that wedding china.
**Good thing Mike likes to research and will shop and shop and shop. (I told him about library school and in a day he complied a list of at least 10 online programs for me to look into) Though once he decides something, good luck trying to change his mind.

Size Matters

2011-10-18T10:12:00.000-04:00

I get a decent amount of comments on my engagement ring from strangers. The reason, besides it being awesome and from my dr soc, is because it's big. Carat wise, it's not ostentatious. But the center stone cut, the setting and my hand shape all work together to really make it a noticeable piece. Every time someone notices my ring, and says something along the lines of "lovely ring," "oh my goodness," or my personal favorite "wow!" (my dad!), I can't help but grin ear to ear and puff with a pride a little. Then I tell Mike about it as soon as I get home.
I know that the sentiment and symbolism is what matters in an engagement ring. And that I am lucky enough to even one have is nice. But I am a jewelry kind of woman. And I love my ring.

But the moral of this story: Size matters.

Dust Bunnies Be Gone!

2011-10-16T11:20:00.001-04:00

Scene: the day after we decide to buy the Dyson but the day before we actually buy it.
mike: Am I a dork for being slightly excited about getting this vacuum?
me: Yes.
--mike sighs--
me: It's ok honey. I'm excited too.

How it feels

2011-10-15T09:18:00.002-04:00

The knot sends me promotional emails which I normally glance at, say don't drink the kool-aid and delete. But this was a registry thing at a store I wanted to register at... So, I drank the kool-aid. But not too much. It was SO. MUCH. FUN.
Sometimes it's hard to not compare things about this wedding planning and the last wedding planning I did. But not in a tit for tat sort of way. It's more of a glance back and marvel at how wonderful this has been this time. Just how much I'm looking forward to everything with him.

The other wedding....well, I was never this excited about it. I had moments where I would be all yay! after I did something, Like after I booked the church, but that feeling would quickly fade. And even though I had the date, the venues, and even a dress, something still just felt off. I didn't google search 14 different paper vendors to find the best price for invites like I did this time. I didn't rack my brain for the perfect bridal party gifts. I didn't realistically think about how many place settings to ask for because I didn't realistically think about hosting the big extended family gatherings. (btw, we now need a table that will extend to seat 10-12) I never got this far and detailed into the wedding planning before. Not because I didn't have the time to do so. I just didn't feel it.

So as Mike and I are traipsing down the aisles of Crate and Barrel (ok, I'm traipsing, and Mike is following and scanning whatever I hold out to him) debating the merits of a lipped or non lipped dinner plate (we went lipped. And asked for 12), I thought to myself: this is how it feels. This is how it's supposed to feel to be engaged. Hopeful. Excited. Deliriously happy. And right. It just feels right. It's a pretty wonderful place to be.

Domestic Bliss

2011-10-14T11:31:00.003-04:00

As Mike and I were registering last weekend, we couldn't help but check out the $600 Dyson there. We were told: "registering is like Christmas. If you don't at least ask Santa for it, then it won't come." Which is true...but still, we're not going to be the assholes who register for a $600 vacuum (a $280 dutch oven though, is fair game and totally on the list).

Well, then it occurs to Mike, hey, doesn't your store sell Dysons? Why don't we use my employee discount and buy it for ourselves at some point? And then I remember that I have some coupons I could use in addition to my employee discount, so yeah, that was a much better idea. We were going to wait for the best possible time to maximize our savings, and it turns out, this was the weekend. And I know it's uncouth to talk about how much you spend on things, but the retail stars could not have lined up any better for this deal. Dudes, this was just way too good a steal to not talk about. Because:

the vacuum was on sale.
20% with a friends and family coupon. Then:
15% off that with a bounce back coupon. Then:
15% off with my employee discount =

We bought 2 (seriously. One's a gift though)

We were planning on getting the vacuum Saturday. But Mike couldn't wait that long. Seriously. He was chomping at the bit to get this vacuum. He came home from work yesterday and was like, hey doesn't that coupon start today? And then I said yes, it does. Sensing his excitement, i asked, do you want to get this vacuum today? To which he replied, well...how late are you guys open? We ended up grabbing dinner out and then doing some major shopping, buying a few Christmas and birthday presents too.

As soon as we got home, mike, as quick as a cricket, popped out his contacts, opened the box and started putting it together. Then, like Christmas, we excitedly played with our new toy by vacuuming the living room and the couches last night. (It's amazing (and disgusting) how much hair was in there).
Sexiest date night ever.

Pick Your Battle

2011-10-11T17:21:00.000-04:00

So, even though mike and I both kinda feel as if we're already married (and yes, I am fully aware of how cliche that is) I am still super duper excited about the wedding. Ergo, I can't stop talking about it. Mike, not as much.

Now, I realize that the wedding is just one day and it's the marriage and our life together is what matters. Yes, yes, that's mature and lovely. But bubble of tulle! Hashing out wedding day timetables is way more fun to talk about than the mundane aspects of life like who's going to pick up Sharktopus from track practice (we don't do soccer in this house). But, anyway, the point is that at some point in the day, the chatter will turn back to the wedding.

mike: What are you going to talk about after the wedding?
me: (no hesitation) Babies!
mike: (scared) Babies?
me: Well, probably I'll focus a bit on getting my masters after the wedding and being a librarian. But then, after that, definitely about having babies.
mike: Babies? But, uh....babies?
me: Yep. Pick your battles man. Weddings now or babies.

See honey, the wedding is the way lesser of the scary!

Pet Cause

2011-10-06T09:54:00.000-04:00

First: rest in peace Steve Jobs. I'm a pc girl myself, but your innovation changed the world and you are a legacy. Second: October is breast cancer awareness month.

Breast cancer is bad. No if ands or buts about that. But it's not the only cancer there is. There's colon cancer, which took my grandma. There's stomach cancer, which took my other grandma. There's liver, lung, skin, ovarian, prostate, brain, ect. If it's a part of the body, it can get cancer. And they are all horrible.

But, cancer is not necessarily the death sentence it once was. I'm not diminishing anyone's loss. Even with the help of modern medicine and treatments, there will be those who will still loose their battle. Their loved ones will mourn, and awareness is brought up. But at the same time, there are those who do respond to the treatments, and can live cancer free. At the very least, there's hope.

But, cancer isn't my pet cause anymore. You can't cure dementia. You can't remove the tumor or live dementia free. You can't have the person you once knew back. I can't tell my dad that everything will be ok after "this." I don't have the same kind, sometimes any, hope.

It's not wrong to want to eradicate a disease. But we all have ones that strike closer to home. And my pet cause, the one that I want cured, is a hell of a lot more important to me than walking to save a stranger's tatas.

Mayheming

2011-10-04T22:15:00.000-04:00

When the dogs first met, they only way they knew how to interact with each other was to play. And they played. Running, mouthing, swatting, blur of spaz play. Because of their size difference, we had to stop them mid-play so they wouldn't end up hurting each other. It went on like this for a while, even after Bails and I moved to Charlotte. We didn't dare leave them alone unsupervised, and I dubbed their play "mayheming." But, eventually, they calmed down around each other. So we all started to feel comfortable about not keeping the most diligent eye on them.

Until now. Because my dogs, my darling, spaztastic, mischievous dogs, realized that if I am in the shower, then I can't see or hear them. And more importantly (to them), I don't stop them. But that's not the super mischievous part. The mischievous part is that they figured out the timing of everything. My shower takes a while to heat up, so I open and close twice. One to turn on the water and to heat up, and the other to actually get clean. They wait for that second door close before they start to mayhem about.

Like the other day. I get out of the shower and come downstairs to the sounds of mouthing and full on spazzing. I see Jules leap off the love seat like superman, right onto Bailey's head. Bailey then tosses her head, and Jules, like a bucking bronco. Which is then followed by a spaztastic chase around the couch. The moment they see me, the freeze, and then slink into their crates when I point to them.
Ah, good times. Honestly, I was most amused by them figuring out the timing of that second shower door than I was mad at them.

But oh boy, could we be in trouble! Ahh, good times.

Color Deal

2011-10-03T09:43:00.000-04:00

We're going to start registering in about 1 week.  Color me excited!
We actually started a list of things we need/want/like a few months ago. One of us would say oh, we need such-and-such, and the other would say, we can register for that. And being aware of my ability for only remembering two things at a time, we started a running list.

The first thing on there is the ubiquitous Kitchen-Aid mixer found on every registry. Though I don't know if we actually need to do so because doesn't it just automatically come on every registry known to woman? You just pick the color you want when the time comes.

I'm sure it's no surprise what color I want. I'm sure it's no surprise that my color choice was met with some opposition from Mike. He knows me pretty well. And knows that if something comes in pink, I want it. And as tolerant as he is of my pink-lust, he doesn't want pink everything. Which fair enough.
So, we made a deal. I really really really, want that pink mixer. I have my heart set on that color. But, that's the only thing I have my heart set on. So I do get my pink mixer! But the blender, Cuisinart and everything else the gets a color choice, we (ok, I) won't select pink.   Nope. That stuff, like the Le Crueset dutch oven that I've recently become obsessed with, that stuff, we'll ask for in blue.

Match

2011-09-27T10:23:00.001-04:00

I love color. Ergo, I love fiesta ware. I was all set to pick out the colors I wanted and have a rainbow of dinnerware. And Mike is pretty easy going and lets me roll with (most) kitchen stuff, since I'm the one who does most of the cooking. He didn't really know what fiestaware was exactly, so he was cool with it.

Until we stopped in a store and I showed it to him. As I'm mentally selecting the pieces I want from the array of products and giddily adding them to the registry, Mike notices that there's a lot of colors to choose from.

mike: So, what color did you want to get?
me: Um, color? Just one? 'Cause I wanted to get the scarlet, tangerine, sunflower, cobalt, plum, shamrock, the black, and maybe the brown.
mike: All of those?
me: Yeah...
mike (slowly): So, they wouldn't match?
me (quickly): They match! They're all the same shape and brand.
mike: But, you would put, say, the yellow plate and a red bowl together? Or, we would have 4 different plate colors on the table?
me (excitedly): Yeah!
mike: But...
me: Ok, so they don't "match" exactly in color. More coordinate.
mike: but they won't match.
me: Well, no....not that way.
--beat--
:sigh: I just lost you on the fiestaware didn't I?
mike: Yeah...
me: Boo!

Simple

2011-09-25T14:20:00.003-04:00

Dogs are such simple creatures. I don't mean simple as in dumb. Though, lets be honest, Bailey has some real bonehead moments. But I still love her, at both her dumb and smart moments. But what I mean by simple, is how uncomplicated things are for them.

I say this because sometimes, I look at my dogs and I'm amazed at the simplicity of their life. All they want is for us to feed them (plus all the cheese and peanut butter in the house), and a safe place for them to go. And for that, they give me affection and companionship.

a cuddle is all we ask for momma! and cheese. we LOVE cheese

Pretty even trade if you ask me!

Logic

2011-09-23T11:28:00.000-04:00

I look young. I'm used to peoples' initial shock, but most people don't care that much and move on to other more important things. Other people, it blows thier 'effing mind. So they keep harping on how young I look. And that's when I tend to get a little annoyed and/or snarky.
Like I was to one of my coworkers. He sits across for me during a break and opens with:

dude: So, I'm, like, still trying to figure out how you're 29.
me: I was born in 1982. That's how.

Not Typical, But Not Bad

2011-09-22T22:23:00.000-04:00

So, my mom may be an un-mother of the bride type. But she's not a bad mother of the bride. She's redoing parts of their house for the wedding, which is awesome. And, even thought she's not "assisting in any planning I may need," I don't need much help anyway. And it's even better that way, because she's not trying to influence, commandeer or take over anything. So I get exactly what I want.
So, she's actually a pretty awesome mother of the bride. Cool.

Mother of the Bride

2011-09-19T21:19:00.000-04:00

"Your main responsibility as the mother of the bride is to assist your daughter and future son in law in all of the planning and details."
My mother...not so much. My mother, is the most un-mother-of-the-bride I have ever encountered. She doesn't want to plan anything. Granted, I've got almost everything covered and I really don't need much help. But that's not the point. I was babbling about some of the details to her and it went in one ear and out the other. It's not that she's not happy for us, but she just isn't paying attention.

I think she just wants to be told when and where to show up. She's not even dress shopping. And I'm pretty sure that for a fleeting second, she seriously wondered if she could wear the same dress she wore for my sister's wedding.

Hey Amy, was she like this for you?

Noisy

2011-09-18T09:38:00.016-04:00

I've mentioned that Jules is gassy, yes? And that she seems to not notice, react, or care about the noise, the smell or human reactions either yes?

Well, it finally happened. Jules farted loud enough that even she was startled.

She was squirming around, grunting and trying to burrow under a blanket on the couch, and she lets one. Typical Jules behavior. But this time, she actually stopped, mid squirm, and looked around for the source of the noise! Of course, the noise at that particular moment was me, braying like a donkey at her reaction.

What? I have no shame. And if I wasn't gassy, then I wouldnt't be your Jules!

Mean Something

2011-09-17T09:38:00.000-04:00

I knocked something loose in my engagement ring at work the other day, so yesterday we stopped by the jewelers to get it fixed and look at wedding bands. (It was something fun and happy to do after looking at care facilities for my dad. Another sad blog for another day.) Since I have a marquise cut, a skilled/experienced jeweler has to work on my ring and not just some lay person (who works with diamonds!) in the back. So once again I had to once again hand over my beloved shiny and wait for it to come back. This is what I get for wanting wear my ring all the time.

Well, anyway, since we were going to go to the jewelers, we decided to look for our wedding bands while we were there. Which, squeee! I'm sure it's no surprise that I'm excited about that, with the wedding practically planed and all, but still. It's the our rings part, that makes it meaningful. I knew it probably wouldn't be that hard to find something for me, since we have the engagement ring to start from. Sometimes engagement rings even come with a matching wedding band. Which it did, so it was really easy for me. But for Mike's ring, we didn't really have a physical starting point.

It is Mike's wedding ring, so it really is his choice as to what he wants. But that didn't stop me from putting in my own 2 (or 8, whatever) cents worth. Fortunately, we have similar tastes and liked a lot of the same things. After he tried on a few different band widths, metals, and slightly different subtle designs, we found one we liked. The only question now was what metal to go with, white gold or palladium.

I for one, had no idea what the difference is. So I asked, and turns out palladium is an element on the periodic table right next to platinum (it was not one of the 70 I was supposed have memorized for chem 107, so you bet your ass I didn't learn that). So it's almost chemically the same as platinum, won't change colors or need to be re-dipped in a few years, and it's super durable. It just happens to be worthless. So as the jeweler is in the back figuring our the price difference between gold and palladium, Mike and I are debating which metal he wants. They look the same to us, but if palladium was significantly less money, then it would be more practical going the cheaper (but worthless) route.
And even though Mike tends to be much more practical about money than I am, (see: I want a volvo and he keeps saying no) this was one case that he was leaning towards spending a little extra. Because his wedding band symbolically means a lot, he wants the ring to have at least some worth. (I know, awww!) But turns out, for the ring Mike's getting, the prices are the same between metals. So, white gold and meaningful it is!

But Then We Wouldn't Get Quiche

2011-09-15T21:38:00.000-04:00

This year, I'm in 3 different fantasy football leagues. I know, right? I don't play sports with balls or teams and here I am now with three different teams. It's crazy. The two new ones this year are in leagues with Mike, but my original ladies only league is in it's 5th year and still going strong.

There are only two rules that have been in place since the beginning. One: all women. And 2: no asking the boyfriend/husband for help. We've never traded, we can remember some of our guys from years past, but rarely do we remember if they were actually any good or not, and our picking "strategy," is sometimes based on critical factors such as hotness levels and names. My first year I picked Trent Green as a backup QB solely because I think he's soooo good looking.* I didn't even know (care) what team he played for at the time (and still don't).

Since fantasy football is such an ingrained part of football culture now, many bars/restaurants offer special deals to groups that have their your draft there. However, one thing we've always had at our live drafts, is brunch. Seriously. One year everyone seemed to bring some sort of bread, another was fruit-type things, and another was egg/quiche dishes.  The topic of moving the draft location to a restaurant was broached last year, but Jeanne voiced what we were all thinking: But then we wouldn't get quiche.

This is the first year we didn't do an in person draft though. There's so many schedules to work with and not all of us live close, so it's actually pretty amazing that we have been able to coordinate an in-person the years before. And while we still did a live draft online, it just wasn't the same. Mainly because it was a Tuesday night, Mike made pizza for dinner, and the draft was done in a little over an hour. It was just funny how the part we missed the most was the brunch.

*My fiance looks a little like Trent Green. It works for both of us. He loves football so he doesn't mind me having a few** football crushes (too much).
** Aaron Rodgers received the coveted football husband spot.  Boyfriends are: Cam Newton, DeAngelo Williams, (Panther love), Ray Rice if he keeps putting up awesome numbers, and that Deion Sanders kid circa the 1990's.

Never Forget

2011-09-11T17:05:00.000-04:00

I'm not going to post an introspective where were you 10 years ago post. I don't need to watch and listen to all the tributes and memorial services today either. I'm just going to quote Jen Lancaster's tweet since I think she expressed my sentiment perfectly:

You don't need to remind me to remember because I will never forget.

Watch the princess bride or I'll divorce you

2011-09-08T14:38:00.001-04:00

Watch the Princess Bride or I'll divorce you. Replace "any Disney movie" for Princess bride and you have my life.

Last night:
me (sprawling on the couch): Ooooh the Lion King in theaters again! In 3d!
mike: you know, I don't think I've ever seen the Lion King.
--here I bolt upright to a sitting position, my eyes widen and I and gasp in horror--
me: WHAT??
mike: Well I know of this part.
--Here he mimics the famous Rafiki holding Simba cub to the Sahara screen shot.--
Still being in complete shock over his announcement, I do not find his attempt at charades humorous, nor does it justify his Lion King viewing lack.
me: Everybody knows that part! What do you mean you haven't ever seen the Lion King?!
mike: I just haven't seen it.
me: How is that even possible? Everybody has seen the Lion King!
mike: Hey, that's not true. Think of when it came out, I was too old to see Disney movies in theaters.
me: That is not true. I saw it in theaters. You are never to old to see Disney movies in theaters.
mike: You're a girl
me: That's no matter. This is unacceptable. It is a very good thing that it is coming to theaters, because we are most definitely going to go see it now.
mike: Well, if that's what you want...
me: Of course. God, I still cannot believe you haven't seen the Lion King.
mike: HA! I just got out of Step Up 4!
me: Worth it.

Note: I'm sure some other terrible sea creature movie will come out around the same time as Step up 4ever does. And even one doesn't, that's what I have my girlfriends for.

Shark Night

2011-09-03T22:55:00.000-04:00

So. My fiance loves sharks. And if you've been to a movie theater in the past few months and/or watched any half hour of shark week, you were probably aware that a movie called Shark Night 3d was coming. It opened this this weekend. I'm sure it's no surprise that Mike was super excited about this movie. And I'm sure it's no surprise that our date night tonight was dinner and Shark Night 3D.

It was bad. And not in that campy syfy movie way that knows it's so bad that it's good way. Bad creepy bad. But it had it's moments of hilarity and absurdness too. In fairness, I may have liked the movie experience a little better if the teenager behind me hadn't kicked my seat 5 times, and if she had kept her voice down. I'm all for making snarky comments during a movie, just keep them between you and the person next to you, not the whole theater. She was at least chastised enough when I turned around and hissed at her to "please stop kicking," that she said sorry. And then when she slipped or something and kicked it the last time right before the movie ended I heard her say "sh*t!"

Mike enjoyed the movie though so there's that. And now, he owes me a dancing movie, so there's that again. And Step Up 4ever should come out in 2012. Yep. There's that!

Mom car

2011-09-01T15:43:00.095-04:00

Mike and I have been talking about replacing his car in a few years. I have this tendency to plan ahead as much as I can (see: wedding planning), even though I've only had Cam* for less than a year, since we were talking about Mike's car, I started thinking about what kind of mom** car I want.

I decided I want a Subaru Outback because my friend had one, and they are very safe cars. My mom car first and foremost, has to be safe (which is why my friend got that car in the first place). But a new Subaru is on the more expensive side and probably out of our price range that we, ok, Mike, wants to spend. So he keeps trying to tell me that the Subaru won't happen, and I conveniently keep "forgetting" that. Then it turns out, that Mike's old boss from hell just got a new Subaru. And because I do listen, once we learned that info I immediately crossed that brand off the list.

kathy: E got a Subaru.
mike: Oh, crap...
me: Honey, I don't want a Subaru anymore.
mike: Phew
me: Oh! We should get a Lexus instead!
mike: WHAT?

I was totally kidding! I don't actually want a Lexus. Now I want a Volvo. Because I still need a new mom car. Though apparently, fancy safe German engineering is "expensive" as well. It being a safe import and all.

But here's a great twist to the car story: Mike's dad just got a sweet new car and he's giving Mike his old one, which is only a few years old. So now we don't have to replace Mike's car in a few years, which is a huge relief. Not to mention so generous on my future father-in-law's part (and MiL too)!

So now that we don't have to save for Mike's new car, now we can save for my Volvo!

*Cam is what I named my Corolla. It's short for Camry, since that is what I kept thinking I drove for the first month of having the car. It is not short for Cameron, like the rookie quarterback of the my Carolina Panthers. (my poor, poor Panthers).
**Have I mentioned that I know Mike will be such a good daddy? 'Cause he totally will be.***
***Think my sucking up will help me get a Volvo? Maybe?

Something Old, Something New

2011-08-30T15:52:00.000-04:00

me: Hmmm, I want to wear the chinese jewelry. But I don't think it will go with my dress.
mike: Uh, ok.
me: It just feels wrong to even be thinking about maybe not wearing it.
mike: Uh. Kay
me: But, I bet pearls would work. I can probably wear my mom's.
mike: Uh, sure.
me: Yeah, I'll try that. And that can be my something borrowed.
mike: Borrowed?
me: You know, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Mom's pearls can be my borrowed.
mike: Just borrowed?
me: Well mom certainly isn't going to give them to me!

Hover craft

2011-08-29T16:37:00.000-04:00

Today as I'm leaving for work (yay work!) I drove past the school bus stop on the corner of my street. There was a mom waiting in her car across the street, while her kid waited at the stop. I've heard of parents who do this, but I've never actually seen it in real life.
I don't have kids right now so clearly I know how to parent and can say I won't be a hover parent. But I can see the bus stop from my front window. So when the time comes for DC and SP to ride the school bus, I can at least hover from the comforts of my home and with my coffee. At least I've got that plan all worked out.

What I also don't get though, is if you are going to hover, then why don't you they just take the kid strait to school?  I know quite often that school isn't really on the way so this isn't an option at times. But to me it feels like a waste of time to just wait there.

I took the bus to school, unwatched, in middle and high school. Don't get me wrong, I tried to get out of it every chance I had, and once I was a junior, I was a snot and refused to take the bus. But I also walked to elementary school since the school was in my neighborhood. I walked (and later waited) in the snow, in the rain, in the freezing cold and in the blistering heat, along with the other neighborhood kids. We didn't get a badge of honor and we didn't expect any accolades for it either. We had to walk, it was stupid not.

Plus, getting ride to school from my parents, was impossible (they also never pulled us out for dentist or doctor's appointments either). We would walk to school no matter what.  I'm serious, they never gave us a ride.  You think I'm just over exaggerating for this story's sake? Well, here's this: When I was in 4th grade I played the cello, which was, yes, bigger than me. It was too big for me to carry back and forth to school. So on orchestra days, my mom would give the cello a ride to school and not me!

Save the date!

2011-08-28T21:22:00.001-04:00

As of now, we've sent/given 96 of these out:

Major snaps to my photographer! Am I right? (of course I am)

No turning back now! That's ok, we can't wait!

Woman Exec

2011-08-24T22:47:00.001-04:00

I saw an ad in the local paper that a brand new store was being opened, and there would be 150 new hires. What the hell, I thought. I applied online, I got an interview, and then got finally got a job. (I was doing a pretty good job at being kept, but the pay was total crap). The interview though, was a group interview, which I had never done before. When in Rome I figured. I also figured that since I saw an ad in the paper, and the store was having a job fair to get get people, it's to be expected that there will be a lot of applicants so this was how it was going to be.

The interview group had 10-15 people in it. And like everyone else who got hired and went through the group interview process, I was wondering who else (or if anyone else for that matter) from my interview group had gotten hired as well. I've seen a few other people from my interview group, either through our orientation or out on the floor by now.

There was one girl in my group though, that I remembered without seeing her at an orientation though. I haven't seen her in the store yet, but that doesn't necessarily mean she didn't get hired. I remember her for a few reasons. In the interview, she came right out and said she wanted to become a manager, which, bully for her. She also came right out and said she had gotten fired from her last managerial job that she had worked her way up to. Which is not exactly something you should offer up in an interview, especially without being prompted. And also, she needed to wear a bra.

It's just, if you want to be a manager, and you wanted to be treated like a professional (especialy as a woman), well, it helps if you act and dress like one. And if you wear a bra.

little things

2011-08-22T11:08:00.000-04:00

I just ordered flowers for my mom from my dad for their 34th wedding anniversary. (It's this Saturday) No trouble at all, I'm happy to help out, and it's easy to order online and sign the card for my dad.

But note to caretakers everywhere: This is just one of the things we have to take care of now. The little things that may have once seemed inconsequential, really do matter.

Fortunately, we live in an age where we can order online from a distance. And also, that I'm really good with remembering birthdays and anniversaries!

blarg

2011-08-21T18:03:00.000-04:00

What I did 3 hours ago: ran/walked 12 miles.
What my brain and body are doing now: muuuuuugh.
I'm not even mentally here enough to be bored.

Ultimatum

2011-08-19T23:32:00.000-04:00

I was on facebook and I saw that on one of my (peripheral) friend's wall, his girlfriend had posted a picture of a diamond ring and announced that she was "officially the last single one. It's your (his) turn."

Yeah. Like that's going to work. It'll probably work just as well as that propose by new years or get out ultimatum she gave him almost 4 years ago. He ended up just ignoring it and doing nothing, and she didn't push the issue or make him get out either. So...yeah.

Oh well, like I said he's a peripheral friend and I barely knew the girlfriend. Maybe she's just teasing and this time it'll work. But I also don't really care to find out one way or the other.

Snail Mail

2011-08-16T14:01:00.000-04:00

Mike was talking to his brother last night on the phone, while I started making our mailing labels* for our save-the dates (and later invites). I have almost all of my half, but Mike still needs to get a good portion of his side. And the only reason we have his family's addresses, is because his brother sent us his half of the guest list from his wedding a year ago.
So anyway, here's a portion of the brothers conversation:

Mike to his brother: Can you send me Kelli's family addresses when you get a chance? We're sending the save the dates soon.
Brian: Sure, no problem. (something along those lines)
Mike: Thanks. Yeah, you don't want Sarah coming after you for those!
Me: Hey! That's not true! I'm not going to bug Brian. No, what you don't want is me to come after you. (there may have been finger pointing involved)
Mike: Yeah.... That's true.

*Screw Miss Manners and that "hand address everything etiquette." We have almost 100 save-the-dates and invites each to send out, and Mike's handwriting SUCKS. Mine can get sloppy too after I've been writing a lot. So the $15 in labels is well worth that faux-pas.

Sigh of relief

2011-08-15T12:08:00.000-04:00

I got a job! Finally!
It's a part time position, and it's retail. So no benefits, and it won't pay the bills, but I don't care because it's something!
I'm just so, so relived. After months of searching and constant rejection, I can actually be doing something. I'll meet new people, I'll have more opportunities and some doors may open now. I am still going to search for a full time position, of course, but at least I have something now!
Now, to just not spend my entire paycheck for the discount...

Brick wall

2011-08-13T10:56:00.000-04:00

I expected thing to be hard with my dad. And they are. But you deal with it. You adjust to a new lifestyle and you keep going. But it is what it is. My dad is mentally in a place that he can't take care of himself, and his reality isn't exactly the same plane as mine and the rest of us. But, oh well. He's still my daddy, I will always love him, and I will enjoy the time I have left with him.

What I didn't expect, was the problems in dealing with my mother. It's now been a year since the official diagnosis and she's still throwing herself a big 'ol pity party, feeling sorry for herself that her husband isn't what he used to be. I know it's hard. But she needs to put on her big girl pants and get over it. Dealing with her and trying to get her to do things, I'm throwing myself against a brick wall. But I can't let up or else my dad is the one that suffers the consequences of her (in)actions.

Yeah it's tough, my dad's disease and watching someone you love decline. I expected that. But I didn't expect mom to make things harder. And that's what makes this whole situation even worse.

Bridezilla!

2011-08-09T15:17:00.000-04:00

I was watching bridezillas. Mistake number one. I know you have to call to be on the show (which, why would you do that? Are you that desperate for your 15 minutes that you want people to see you at your worst behavior?), and some of them are just playing up for the camera. But other times, it's not playing. Like the featured bride I'm going to judge right now, who was, forgive me, a total twat.

She threatened, sassed, yelled, cried, hit and pouted like every other bridezilla on the show before her. Nothing spectactular about that really. She also had an overinflated ego, an unjust sense of entitlement and claimed her wedding would be the most important day of everyone's life, also like every other bridezilla before her. Once again, not really that special. (though I'm sure her overinflated ego will tell me otherwise).

So far a typical, not too special a bridezilla. But then the little things just pushed her over the top. It's all in the details you know. Her friend can't afford to buy a plane ticket from Chicago to Milwaukee (which, is less that a 2 hour drive, I don't know why the friend needed to fly, but whatever), so bridezilla starts flipping out. Bridezilla decides her friend does indeed have the money, so now this "friend" is just insulting her. Not only will she fly, she now owes bridezilla an even bigger wedding gift for stressing her out.

She's so stressed out that this b-list friend would even think about not coming to the wedding, at bridezilla's cake tasting, she grabs her bridesmaid's cake from a bridesmaid and shovels it into her own piggy mouth. Which, no, not cool. In my book, cake stealing is a stab worthy offence. And then bridezilla couldn't fit into her wedding gown. Which, is no surprise since she stole cake. She cries, maybe in hopes of loosing the water weight, and then fearfully confesses to the camera how important this dress is in the history of the world. And that she has to fit into it by Sunday morning.

And that was what pushed her into twat territory. Sunday weddings are an inconvenience and bitchy.
They are only acceptable if the holiday the couple wants as their wedding anniversary is on a Sunday. (And if the couple is close friends or family. That is all). Picking a Sunday just to pick a Sunday is not cool. It may be slightly cheaper for the couple, but the inconvenience factor for everyone else isn't worth it.

So to sum it up: the girl was a bitch to begin with. She has a Sunday morning wedding make it inconvenient for everyone. And she took someone elses cake. What a twat.

Grit

2011-08-06T10:19:00.000-04:00

I don't like to talk about my dad's disease on here that much because I feel like I'm airing dirty laundry. But that's becoming more and more difficult to do because it's woven itself into every part of our daily lives.  It's not as simple as "my dad has dementia." It's not even mild, we're in the moderate to severe category. It's not just adapting to a few little changes.  It's basic, everyday things we have taken for granted, have become something to monitor and/or make safe.  And not only from the big bad scary outside world, but also from himself.

I hate saying this, but it's true: it's only a matter of time before my dad has to go into a care facility. His disease will take him to a place where none of us will be able to physically and mentally take care of him. Yes, I fought that reality at first, I'm still fighting it hoping I have years. But no amount of pride, pleading and crying is going to change the situation.
After pushing my mom for months, borderline almost a year, I finally figured that I was going to have to do things myself.  If we (ok, me) want a choice for his care, we (I) have to do this now so we're (I'm) not scrambling only to end up settling for some hell hole. I'm not giving up on my dad, I'm not shirking him off to someone else. I'm not.  I'm trying to figure out the best possible outcome for him and all of us. But I'm in Charlotte and he's in Lexington. So, I can't help physically right now. My mom needs it and knows it.  But she doesn't have the grit to look for it, acknowledge that it exists, or let alone take it when offered. So the responsibility of all this is falling to me.

And believe me, I'm upset about that.  About everything. That my dad has this disease. That I'm the one taking care of it. That no matter what I said or how I said it I would upset my mom.  But someone has to do it, and between me and my mom, I seem to be the only one strong enough to take action.  So with some grit and some courage, I'm taking care of things.  My mom and I reached an uneasy truce that I would figure things out and she would trust me on my choices. Which is good, but I'm still alone on this.

It's not the most ideal situation, but what can I do about that? I'm tired of trying to pull my mom's head out of the sand.  I'm tired of being scared for my dad. I'm tired of feeling alone on this. I'm tired of looking for grit. And I'm sad. So, so, so sad.

Glitch

2011-08-04T10:43:00.000-04:00

I've notice something. That the nicer the car, the less the turn signals seem to work. Funny that.

I guessing the bulk of the money paid for those cars goes into important things like the fancy hood ornament, rather than a silly thing like using a turn signal. It's a small glitch, I'm sure someone can fix that. After all, if you are going to spend that much money on a car, there should be at least a little bit of disposable income to buy yourself some considerate driver.

Not exactly to plan

2011-08-03T21:34:00.000-04:00

Last night Mike and I had a loose plan: go to a support group, get dinner after, then head home. But things didn't exactly go as planned. Not that things went completely awry, just, not as planned. First, the Alzheimer's support group that I just started attending was canceled due to an emergency the group leader had. So there went the first part of our evening. But that was fine, these things happen. So we decided to go find dinner.

We tried a place close by that I found on urban spoon. (It's one of my new favorite websites. I like it so much I made Mike get the app for his iphone. (What? His phone is very handy for me. And the app is free)) Dinner was ok. Cheep, but the food wasn't anything to write home about. But that wasn't the interesting part (clearly). What was interesting was the working cigarette vending machine the place had. (We saw someone use it which is how we knew it worked) I didn't know these things still existed, let alone, were even legal. But that wasn't the only code maybe violation sort of thing. Another customer, brought their dog into the bar. Not a service dog, just a regular family pet. Really? I understand dogs on dog-friendly patios, but inside the restaurant?

Our dining experience being mildly interesting yet simultaneously sub par, we decide to go try one of those hot trend of the moment pay by the weight frozen yogurt places on the way home. One just opened up near our gym a few months ago so we decided to check it out. It's not until we're getting our fro-yo rung up that I notice that the frog in Sweet Frog is an acronym. Turns out frog stands for fully rely on god. Which....ok. Mike and I are not exactly religious people. We're not going to go bashing religion and those who are. But, well, it just having it presented like that isn't our style.

So, yeah, interesting night. Support group canceled, a working cigarette machine and a dog at dinner, and then religious themed frozen yogurt.

Throw me a bone

2011-08-02T11:59:00.000-04:00

I got another rejection email. Which I was getting used to because that's all I get from employers. And to be honest you know going into these interviews that you are not exactly what they are looking for, or you don't have the right experience, or just something. But this was an email for a bartending job. A job that I do have several years of experience in. I'm a pretty girl with a personality and I have bartending experience. There was no reason I shouldn't have gotten that job.

But I didn't. Once again, I'm not good enough for something.  I have been told to try this field and try that field, and to look at this option and that option. I know people are trying to help, but do they really think that I haven't done that already? I have looked for 7 months in so many areas and applied to so many jobs that want a high school degree, or a degree in business and they all want 5-7 years experience. (How do you get 5-7 years mid-management experience at a Fortune 500 company when all you require is a high school diploma. Seriously, bullshit.) I've applied for jobs I know I'd be great at and I didn't even get an interview or a thanks but no thanks for your interest. So forgive me for not being enthralled to shift through the same job postings, only to apply for something I know I'm not going to get.

But not only did I not get this bartending job, I just got back from an incredibly tough week of looking after my dad and arguing with my mom about it. Everything is happening so fast with him that I'm scrambling to catch up on years of denial.  I went to look at long tern care facilities this weekend and I had to go alone. (Another blog for another day).  It's just too much for me to deal with on my own, yet I had to.  And I was hoping that with all the lows of this situation, I could at least have something good happen to me.

I just want something. I want my dad's brain to be fixed.  I need employment. I know the first ones not going to happen and it's only going to get tougher.  That doesn't leave much room for even more disappointment on the job front.  So if the second part of that would happen, I might actually have something to be happy about.

Know what's important

2011-08-01T12:11:00.000-04:00

Last week I drove to meet little dude, visit with friends and then spend some time in Lexington. But to first get to Cleveland, I have to drive north through Virgina for a small portion of the drive. In theory, that portion of the drive should take an hour total. It took closer to 3 due to congestion. I ended up loosing 2 hours in that state, thus turning an 8 hour drive into a 10 hour drive.  Plus, I still had to drive through West Virgina after Virgina, which was nothing to look forward to. Because I think we all know that nothing good comes from West Virgina. I was pissed to say the least. So I did what anyone else would do in my situation. I called my fiance to whine.

me: Oh my god, Virgina you suck! Honey, could you do me a favor and see if you can find anything online as to what the hold up is?  I mean, I know you can't do anything about it, but still.
mike: Sure. --sounds of typing and traffic sleuthing-- Looks like there's congestion miles 42-46 and 56ish. Though it doesn't list any particular reason.  It does say traffic will clear up around 4:15, and that's soonish.
me: --whine!-- Oh goody for me, what that doesn't give me is those 2 hours back I lost.  This sucks!--insert string of whiny girl noises and phrases here--. Sigh. I'm just bitching to bitch now honey, I'm sorry. I'm just, well, you know.
mike: I know. In theory you should be going faster in about 10 minutes though.
me: --snort-- Yeah, in theory. Thanks for checking for me though.
mike: You're welcome. Drive safe.

We hang up the phone, traffic clears up in roughly 10 minutes after I drive through a tunnel, with no delay reason in site. I am finally, finally, out of that state and now have West Virgina and 6 more hours to go. Eventually I stopped to get gas and take a small break about an hour of driving at a reasonable highway speed. I pull out my phone to send my girlfriends my new eta, and I have this text message from Mike:

mike: Amy Winehouse died. No cause of death yet but I'm sure the toxicology report will turn up something.
me: I LOVE that you knew to tell me that.

Yeah. He knows what's important. Best fiance ever.

Juxtaposition

2011-07-30T21:01:00.000-04:00

I am dealing with two very big, but also very different things in my life right now. My wedding, which I am incredibly happy and will babble on and on about, and my dad's condition, which I am incredibly morose and overwhelmed by.

It's very odd to be on both and opposite ends of the emotional spectrum. And they are seemingly unrelated to each other, but they also intertwine with each other at the strangest times. One moment I'm crying in frustration about my dad's condition, and an hour later I'm giddily trying on my wedding dress and crying with happiness.

I can compartmentalize at times, so I can feel completely happy when I should, and also sad when I should. I can not mesh those two things and not feel twinges of a particular emotion when experiencing the others. Other times I'm not quite as deft and emotions get mixed up. But I really don't know if it's better to manically swing from one end of the scale to the other, or if I keep things jumbled up. It's exhausting going back and forth. And it's confusing to be both. It's just, well, it's odd.

Math Problems

2011-07-28T17:14:00.000-04:00

Today is my dad's 67th birthday. Two weeks ago was my 29th birthday, so if you do the math, that means he was 2 weeks shy of of his 38th birthday when I was born.

If someone asked me how old my dad was though, I always had to think about it, and then, do the math. Though despite my math prowess, adding 38 to my age always flummoxed me. But after years of simply trying to add two numbers in my head failed me, I finally figured out a way that was easier for me. Now, I add 40 then subtract 2. Yep, I added an extra step.

Math prowess indeed!

Happy birthday dad!

Fashion show! Fashion Show! Fashion show at lunch!

2011-07-27T22:21:00.000-04:00

I tried on my wedding dress for the first time! There are not enough exclamation points in the world to convey how happy I am about that. When the dress first arrived there was no reason for me to try it on, so it waited patiently for me in a closet in Lexington until the time was right. And then, once the time was right, I couldn't wait to put it on for the first time.

However, I did have to wait a little bit, because like I said, the dress was in a closet in Lexington. And every time I was in close enough proximity to it, so was my future husband. And while I may not be the most traditional of brides in some aspects, I DO NOT want my fiance to see that dress or me in it until I am walking down the aisle to him. But I'm visiting Lex by myself this week, so I finally, finally, got to put on the dress I have been wanting to wear for as long as I can remember.

So before lunch today, stepped into my wedding dress for the first time. It needs to be taken in in some places, and other places I can't gain an ounce, but it was wonderful. Wonderful, happy and so hopeful. But really, just so, so, so happy.

SQUEEEEE!!!